Masturbated for the first time in 30+ years
I guess I'm sex repulsed, as P in V sex has never interested me and masturbation etc just seems weird and gross to me. I still get horny and like BDSM and stuff until the sex starts then I check out, but that can sometimes leave me with blue balls
I decided to figure out what the fuss was about with masturbation, as the only times I'd tried in the past it just felt weird and I stopped within ten seconds and didn't like it
I forced through it last night and . . . uh it was still unpleasant? It honestly felt like vomitting, but from my penis. The stomach muscles clenching and knees getting weak felt exactly like I was going to throw up, except it went down instead of up and I never really felt good at any point?
I wonder if something is disconnected from the pleasure center in my brain? I have musical anhedonia which means my brain doesn't get any pleasure from music, I wonder if it's similar?
For those of you who have tried masturbating before, was that similar to your experience? Does it "feel good" or does it feel more like sticking a finger in your throat to gag where your body reacts and you feel it reacting, but there's not some magical pleasure that I assumed there would be?
tldr; masturbated because people make it seem really enjoyable, 3/10 experience, better to vomit from my penis than my mouth, but not really fun either way
https://redd.it/1olz1qa
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I guess I'm sex repulsed, as P in V sex has never interested me and masturbation etc just seems weird and gross to me. I still get horny and like BDSM and stuff until the sex starts then I check out, but that can sometimes leave me with blue balls
I decided to figure out what the fuss was about with masturbation, as the only times I'd tried in the past it just felt weird and I stopped within ten seconds and didn't like it
I forced through it last night and . . . uh it was still unpleasant? It honestly felt like vomitting, but from my penis. The stomach muscles clenching and knees getting weak felt exactly like I was going to throw up, except it went down instead of up and I never really felt good at any point?
I wonder if something is disconnected from the pleasure center in my brain? I have musical anhedonia which means my brain doesn't get any pleasure from music, I wonder if it's similar?
For those of you who have tried masturbating before, was that similar to your experience? Does it "feel good" or does it feel more like sticking a finger in your throat to gag where your body reacts and you feel it reacting, but there's not some magical pleasure that I assumed there would be?
tldr; masturbated because people make it seem really enjoyable, 3/10 experience, better to vomit from my penis than my mouth, but not really fun either way
https://redd.it/1olz1qa
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My 8 year old sister just said this
We were talking abt kids for some reason, and she asked me if i was ever going to have kids. I said no and she gives me a stumped look for abt 3 seconds, then says "well, you might change your mind someday" lmfao
https://redd.it/1om3bpl
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We were talking abt kids for some reason, and she asked me if i was ever going to have kids. I said no and she gives me a stumped look for abt 3 seconds, then says "well, you might change your mind someday" lmfao
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When a close friend get a partner
I don’t know if anyone else here relates to this, but I’ve been struggling with something lately. I had a really close friend (we used to talk every day, cook together, go to the cinema, take walks, even spend vacations with their family). They were basically my person. But ever since they got a partner, everything has slowly faded. The plans we used to make together are now the plans they make with their partner. They even go on the same walks or cafes I showed them, just with someone else now. And the texts that used to get instant replies now go unanswered for over a week...
It’s not like there was a fight or an official end. It just hurts to realize that I’ve quietly been replaced. And what makes it harder is that no one would see this as a loss because it’s “just friendship.” And it feels like a breakup that I’m not allowed to grieve. When I was with them I never felt insecure about being ace because I had friends like them that reminded me the value of friendship and how not everything has to be about romantic love. But now I feel like I will always be replaced by the "most important form of love" while I keep thinking that friendship should be treated the same way.
Has anyone else gone through this? How do you deal with losing that closeness without any real closure?
https://redd.it/1olvrzb
@asexualityonreddit
I don’t know if anyone else here relates to this, but I’ve been struggling with something lately. I had a really close friend (we used to talk every day, cook together, go to the cinema, take walks, even spend vacations with their family). They were basically my person. But ever since they got a partner, everything has slowly faded. The plans we used to make together are now the plans they make with their partner. They even go on the same walks or cafes I showed them, just with someone else now. And the texts that used to get instant replies now go unanswered for over a week...
It’s not like there was a fight or an official end. It just hurts to realize that I’ve quietly been replaced. And what makes it harder is that no one would see this as a loss because it’s “just friendship.” And it feels like a breakup that I’m not allowed to grieve. When I was with them I never felt insecure about being ace because I had friends like them that reminded me the value of friendship and how not everything has to be about romantic love. But now I feel like I will always be replaced by the "most important form of love" while I keep thinking that friendship should be treated the same way.
Has anyone else gone through this? How do you deal with losing that closeness without any real closure?
https://redd.it/1olvrzb
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Very confused about my sexuality
Does fantasizing about fictional characters sexually make you not ace? I feel sick to my stomach and want to puke whenever I think about sex with real people, but I do masturbate and sometimes think up sexual scenarios with my favorite fictional characters...I also did phone sex once, where there was roleplay involved, and somewhat enjoyed it but I was not sexually attracted to the person I did it with, I don't think...help!
https://redd.it/1om96go
@asexualityonreddit
Does fantasizing about fictional characters sexually make you not ace? I feel sick to my stomach and want to puke whenever I think about sex with real people, but I do masturbate and sometimes think up sexual scenarios with my favorite fictional characters...I also did phone sex once, where there was roleplay involved, and somewhat enjoyed it but I was not sexually attracted to the person I did it with, I don't think...help!
https://redd.it/1om96go
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i hate being an ace AMAB
im not saying that ace AFAB people dont suffer from the pressure of needing to have sexual desires, but i think that, in this case, AMAB always suffer the most.
i interact mostly with queer folk and even inside the community people just look down on me, dont take me seriously, think of me as a lesser man and even make some queerphobic remarks towards me. idk, when i have this kind of interaction i always feel like a failure, even though i def dont want to perform masculinity neither have any kind of sexual interaction in my life.
im just tired that the closest people to me cant understand me and needed to vent. thankss
https://redd.it/1om8fdq
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im not saying that ace AFAB people dont suffer from the pressure of needing to have sexual desires, but i think that, in this case, AMAB always suffer the most.
i interact mostly with queer folk and even inside the community people just look down on me, dont take me seriously, think of me as a lesser man and even make some queerphobic remarks towards me. idk, when i have this kind of interaction i always feel like a failure, even though i def dont want to perform masculinity neither have any kind of sexual interaction in my life.
im just tired that the closest people to me cant understand me and needed to vent. thankss
https://redd.it/1om8fdq
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Is this really stupid?
So I have a YouTube channel and I have had one for a little while now. It has less than 100 subs and maybe about 20k views on the entire channel the point is it's small, however, I like my little community over there. I recently had to delete all of my videos because someone in my real life was spamming my comment section in an attempt to get me to speak to them I am assuming or maybe to intimidate me, I am not really sure what their goal was.
It was kind of a blessing in disguise though as I decided to really commit to making my channel all about asexuality I am doing this because when I was really going through a particular traumatic incident I wish I had videos on asexuality to help me through and I just did not see any and it made me feel even crazier tbh, especially not of anyone who was a person of color and autistic.
So I came back and I really wanted to make a video on said traumatic incident as I really think my story could help others, maybe they can recognize the signs and the patterns of manipulation in their own lives and they can spare themselves all the trash that I had to go through. But now I am having second thoughts. I sat down to film the video and could not stop crying. Mind you, this event took place years ago now. I finally managed to get a decent take though I will still have to edit because I did cry quite a bit or should I leave it in? My friend says that I should just leave it in to be transparent but I don't know, I have never been a crying on the internet kind of person. Is this whole thing stupid? Should I just call it quits? Sometimes I feel as if this video is a form of cope for me if I am being honest, like I didn't go through all of this for nothing if that makes sense. At least maybe I can help a few people or make them feel less alone if they too have been in a manipulative "relationship".
I just don't know what to do.
https://redd.it/1ombl9q
@asexualityonreddit
So I have a YouTube channel and I have had one for a little while now. It has less than 100 subs and maybe about 20k views on the entire channel the point is it's small, however, I like my little community over there. I recently had to delete all of my videos because someone in my real life was spamming my comment section in an attempt to get me to speak to them I am assuming or maybe to intimidate me, I am not really sure what their goal was.
It was kind of a blessing in disguise though as I decided to really commit to making my channel all about asexuality I am doing this because when I was really going through a particular traumatic incident I wish I had videos on asexuality to help me through and I just did not see any and it made me feel even crazier tbh, especially not of anyone who was a person of color and autistic.
So I came back and I really wanted to make a video on said traumatic incident as I really think my story could help others, maybe they can recognize the signs and the patterns of manipulation in their own lives and they can spare themselves all the trash that I had to go through. But now I am having second thoughts. I sat down to film the video and could not stop crying. Mind you, this event took place years ago now. I finally managed to get a decent take though I will still have to edit because I did cry quite a bit or should I leave it in? My friend says that I should just leave it in to be transparent but I don't know, I have never been a crying on the internet kind of person. Is this whole thing stupid? Should I just call it quits? Sometimes I feel as if this video is a form of cope for me if I am being honest, like I didn't go through all of this for nothing if that makes sense. At least maybe I can help a few people or make them feel less alone if they too have been in a manipulative "relationship".
I just don't know what to do.
https://redd.it/1ombl9q
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Is this really stupid?
So I have a YouTube channel and I have had one for a little while now. It has less than 100 subs and maybe about 20k views on the entire channel the point is it's small, however, I like my little community over there. I recently had to delete all of my videos because someone in my real life was spamming my comment section in an attempt to get me to speak to them I am assuming or maybe to intimidate me, I am not really sure what their goal was.
It was kind of a blessing in disguise though as I decided to really commit to making my channel all about asexuality I am doing this because when I was really going through a particular traumatic incident I wish I had videos on asexuality to help me through and I just did not see any and it made me feel even crazier tbh, especially not of anyone who was a person of color and autistic.
So I came back and I really wanted to make a video on said traumatic incident as I really think my story could help others, maybe they can recognize the signs and the patterns of manipulation in their own lives and they can spare themselves all the trash that I had to go through. But now I am having second thoughts. I sat down to film the video and could not stop crying. Mind you, this event took place years ago now. I finally managed to get a decent take though I will still have to edit because I did cry quite a bit or should I leave it in? My friend says that I should just leave it in to be transparent but I don't know, I have never been a crying on the internet kind of person. Is this whole thing stupid? Should I just call it quits? Sometimes I feel as if this video is a form of cope for me if I am being honest, like I didn't go through all of this for nothing if that makes sense. At least maybe I can help a few people or make them feel less alone if they too have been in a manipulative "relationship".
I just don't know what to do.
https://redd.it/1ombkf6
@asexualityonreddit
So I have a YouTube channel and I have had one for a little while now. It has less than 100 subs and maybe about 20k views on the entire channel the point is it's small, however, I like my little community over there. I recently had to delete all of my videos because someone in my real life was spamming my comment section in an attempt to get me to speak to them I am assuming or maybe to intimidate me, I am not really sure what their goal was.
It was kind of a blessing in disguise though as I decided to really commit to making my channel all about asexuality I am doing this because when I was really going through a particular traumatic incident I wish I had videos on asexuality to help me through and I just did not see any and it made me feel even crazier tbh, especially not of anyone who was a person of color and autistic.
So I came back and I really wanted to make a video on said traumatic incident as I really think my story could help others, maybe they can recognize the signs and the patterns of manipulation in their own lives and they can spare themselves all the trash that I had to go through. But now I am having second thoughts. I sat down to film the video and could not stop crying. Mind you, this event took place years ago now. I finally managed to get a decent take though I will still have to edit because I did cry quite a bit or should I leave it in? My friend says that I should just leave it in to be transparent but I don't know, I have never been a crying on the internet kind of person. Is this whole thing stupid? Should I just call it quits? Sometimes I feel as if this video is a form of cope for me if I am being honest, like I didn't go through all of this for nothing if that makes sense. At least maybe I can help a few people or make them feel less alone if they too have been in a manipulative "relationship".
I just don't know what to do.
https://redd.it/1ombkf6
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Asexual or just a nervous virgin?
Hi, I’m 20M and I’m a virgin. Whenever I think about having sex it makes me uncomfortable like the idea of being in that situation myself scares me and makes my stomach churn but I watch porn and masturbate to it with no such worries. Am I just nervous about sex because I’m a virgin? Or could I be asexual?
https://redd.it/1omcupd
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Hi, I’m 20M and I’m a virgin. Whenever I think about having sex it makes me uncomfortable like the idea of being in that situation myself scares me and makes my stomach churn but I watch porn and masturbate to it with no such worries. Am I just nervous about sex because I’m a virgin? Or could I be asexual?
https://redd.it/1omcupd
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Asexual or haven’t met the “right guy”!
Over so many years of talking to people around me, I am low key (high key) tired of hearing from men that you aren’t asexual, you just haven’t engaged in sex with me or I will cure your asexuality (as if it’s a disease)!
Frankly now its useful too! It helps me filter out insensitive or non-learners people.
https://redd.it/1omddfj
@asexualityonreddit
Over so many years of talking to people around me, I am low key (high key) tired of hearing from men that you aren’t asexual, you just haven’t engaged in sex with me or I will cure your asexuality (as if it’s a disease)!
Frankly now its useful too! It helps me filter out insensitive or non-learners people.
https://redd.it/1omddfj
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What do people like about kissing?
Had my first kiss yesterday at the age of 24 and I need to talk to someone about it.
TLDR: It was an extremely neutral experience, I’m wondering what other people (ace, aro, or allo) feel when they kiss someone
So I’m extremely scared of any physical intimacy and been pretty sure I was ace the last 10 years or so. I went out to a club for Halloween and started dancing with a girl and she wanted to kiss me, so I said sure. TBH I did kinda approach the evening hoping for this, since I’ve always had that thought of “how do you know if you’ve never tried” and just wanted to see how it was. And it was… just okay? I feel like there was so much lead up and it was kinda strange. Not bad but not really enjoyable, I was more curious during it than anything.
Basically nothing came natural to me, like how I’m supposed to move or what I’m expected to do next (like, do we just makeout the same way for 20 minutes or am I supposed to do something else?), at some point my friend even literally reached over to put my hand on her waist 😬
Basically I’m wondering what do people feel when they kiss someone? Does it depend on the person? As far as I can tell the kiss wasn’t bad but I also wasn’t super super into her (which sounds bad to say but, to be fair, I’m ace and I’m never super into anyone). I’m curious to hear from any ace people who enjoy sex and kissing, or those who don’t, or even allo people who can tell me how it is for them.
Thank you! 😘
https://redd.it/1om9ix3
@asexualityonreddit
Had my first kiss yesterday at the age of 24 and I need to talk to someone about it.
TLDR: It was an extremely neutral experience, I’m wondering what other people (ace, aro, or allo) feel when they kiss someone
So I’m extremely scared of any physical intimacy and been pretty sure I was ace the last 10 years or so. I went out to a club for Halloween and started dancing with a girl and she wanted to kiss me, so I said sure. TBH I did kinda approach the evening hoping for this, since I’ve always had that thought of “how do you know if you’ve never tried” and just wanted to see how it was. And it was… just okay? I feel like there was so much lead up and it was kinda strange. Not bad but not really enjoyable, I was more curious during it than anything.
Basically nothing came natural to me, like how I’m supposed to move or what I’m expected to do next (like, do we just makeout the same way for 20 minutes or am I supposed to do something else?), at some point my friend even literally reached over to put my hand on her waist 😬
Basically I’m wondering what do people feel when they kiss someone? Does it depend on the person? As far as I can tell the kiss wasn’t bad but I also wasn’t super super into her (which sounds bad to say but, to be fair, I’m ace and I’m never super into anyone). I’m curious to hear from any ace people who enjoy sex and kissing, or those who don’t, or even allo people who can tell me how it is for them.
Thank you! 😘
https://redd.it/1om9ix3
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The more I know about Freud the more I feel like being asexual just disproves all of his f'd up research and I like that lol
Like "sexual impulses are the source of all human energy" huh you know that's interesting where does my energy come from, interesting huh
https://redd.it/1omeno4
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Like "sexual impulses are the source of all human energy" huh you know that's interesting where does my energy come from, interesting huh
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Not sure how to describe it — the most intense form of “romantic” desire for someone who’s asexual.
I’ve considered myself asexual since I was 16.
I’ve liked both men and women before, but I’ve never felt any sexual attraction at all, nor had entered a stable relationship.
What I truly crave is mental resonance — talking for hours, sharing thoughts, or simply existing in the same space with someone I deeply connect with. Sometimes I find myself drawn to small, vivid details — cherry-like lips, or warm eyes glimmering behind the chill of glasses — but it’s more of an aesthetic pull than anything physical.
Even kissing feels like the farthest my fantasies can go; anything beyond that instantly turns me off.
There was one person I once loved most deeply. At the height of that feeling, all I wanted(and did)was to hold her tightly in my arms. Sometimes, I’d feel a fleeting urge to kiss her, soft and transient, gone before it ever became real desire. That’s when I realized: my affection runs deep, but it never becomes sexual. It’s warmth, admiration, and quiet awe — but never lust.
I’m wondering how others here experience this.
What’s the most intense form of romantic or emotional desire you’ve ever felt?
I’d really love to hear how you define or experience “romantic” connection without sexual attraction.
https://redd.it/1omfb4d
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve considered myself asexual since I was 16.
I’ve liked both men and women before, but I’ve never felt any sexual attraction at all, nor had entered a stable relationship.
What I truly crave is mental resonance — talking for hours, sharing thoughts, or simply existing in the same space with someone I deeply connect with. Sometimes I find myself drawn to small, vivid details — cherry-like lips, or warm eyes glimmering behind the chill of glasses — but it’s more of an aesthetic pull than anything physical.
Even kissing feels like the farthest my fantasies can go; anything beyond that instantly turns me off.
There was one person I once loved most deeply. At the height of that feeling, all I wanted(and did)was to hold her tightly in my arms. Sometimes, I’d feel a fleeting urge to kiss her, soft and transient, gone before it ever became real desire. That’s when I realized: my affection runs deep, but it never becomes sexual. It’s warmth, admiration, and quiet awe — but never lust.
I’m wondering how others here experience this.
What’s the most intense form of romantic or emotional desire you’ve ever felt?
I’d really love to hear how you define or experience “romantic” connection without sexual attraction.
https://redd.it/1omfb4d
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And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1omiy6w
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https://redd.it/1omiy6w
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Idk what to title this but I thought this was funny and seemed kinda ace
https://redd.it/1omizyr
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1omizyr
@asexualityonreddit
And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1omiln6
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1omiln6
@asexualityonreddit
Sprinkling in some ace joy: favourite part(s) of being asexual?
Hi everyone! I don't know about you guys, but I'm craving some ace joy. Between questioning or TW posts, I've noticed this sub can get a bit... focused on the darker sides of asexuality, which personally have been really enlightening and even sometimes heart-warming, but I'm looking forward to hearing some of you guys' favourite parts of being asexual! <3
It's such a beautiful thing imo, like the fact that we have a subreddit to gather together and discuss this complex thing. I've spent so many years in the dark about it, and feeling alone, but I'm so grateful for connections like the ones we have here.
Some of my favourite parts of being ace include how easy and natural it feels to embrace who I am. I'm a very practical person who likes to get things done right away, so I love that I don't have any desire for sex because it's definitely not happening right now (or ever, lol), if that makes sense! I also love how it feels like no matter how much has changed over the years, or how much I've changed, asexuality is at the core of who I am throughout my life and it feels like an anchoring fact about myself. I also think our community has hella good humour, and I love how much I can relate to everyone in big or small ways, it's truly meaningful.
Okay, rant over! Your turn pls!
https://redd.it/1omo4gg
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everyone! I don't know about you guys, but I'm craving some ace joy. Between questioning or TW posts, I've noticed this sub can get a bit... focused on the darker sides of asexuality, which personally have been really enlightening and even sometimes heart-warming, but I'm looking forward to hearing some of you guys' favourite parts of being asexual! <3
It's such a beautiful thing imo, like the fact that we have a subreddit to gather together and discuss this complex thing. I've spent so many years in the dark about it, and feeling alone, but I'm so grateful for connections like the ones we have here.
Some of my favourite parts of being ace include how easy and natural it feels to embrace who I am. I'm a very practical person who likes to get things done right away, so I love that I don't have any desire for sex because it's definitely not happening right now (or ever, lol), if that makes sense! I also love how it feels like no matter how much has changed over the years, or how much I've changed, asexuality is at the core of who I am throughout my life and it feels like an anchoring fact about myself. I also think our community has hella good humour, and I love how much I can relate to everyone in big or small ways, it's truly meaningful.
Okay, rant over! Your turn pls!
https://redd.it/1omo4gg
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And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1ompn0j
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https://redd.it/1ompn0j
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I swear I'm always being reminded of why I'm sex repulsed and negative
https://redd.it/1omp0zq
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https://redd.it/1omp0zq
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