Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

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@asexualityonreddit

Why am I getting asked this :,)
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@asexualityonreddit

helpful
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@asexualityonreddit

For asexuals that lost NNN this meme is for you

https://redd.it/1opk5qh
@asexualityonreddit

As much as I love being single and asexual and I do… I wish I could find me an Asexual Butch lesbian cis woman who is all I can’t do and I do what I can do.

It feels incredibly sad that any time I find a Cis Butch Lesbian woman it is also sex, sex, sex, oh look strap on, strap on, STRAP ON…

Why can’t there be a Cis Asexual Butch Lesbian Woman opposite of my Cis Asexual Grunge Tomboy Lesbian Woman ass.

They do what I can’t.

I do what I can.

We cuddle cuddles that aren’t the spooning ones.

We kiss long as don’t touch my face.

🥺

Is my outdated ass doomed?

Not to mention the Ace Phobia in other LGBTQIA+ subreddits that could in any way pertain to us seeing as I’m a lesbian too as well as Asexual.

Also don’t get me started on others perpetual need to jam it down their throats that it can only be trauma and fear reasons as to why no sex. They rather choke to death on there perceived notions than change their thoughts, beliefs and opinions by stepping out of their pure unadulterated sexual box.

How about I just don’t want to. Or better yet my face goes red and chapped like it is winter. “Did you use a bad concealer on your zits?” Shut up on that I say. So no. I just don’t want to. That is the reason.

Ask yourself, “Do I do everything and do I have to? No?”

…and you don’t demand others do as such when you don’t. If you don’t do everything and don’t have to; then neither do others.


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@asexualityonreddit

Fr tho, I never understood this metaphor
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@asexualityonreddit

I don’t want to be “fixed”, I want to be understood

I said this to my counsellor the other day, and it sums up the rage I feel at the moment towards so called “friends” who have lied to me and manipulated me in an attempt to pressure me to date. I keep hearing that they only did it with the best of intentions, but there’s something so horrific about finding out that the people you thought understood and accepted you as you are decided you need to be “fixed” for your own good, as if you’re a child who doesn’t have any agency in your own life. It’s broken me into a million pieces and I’m struggling to make friends and connect with anyone again.

https://redd.it/1opuoe9
@asexualityonreddit

I messed up as a parent

Driving home after dinner as a family, somehow my wife mentioned eventual grandchildren. After my 9 yo reacted, my 12 yo said he didn't think about children and thinks he's asexual. I can't explain all the reasons why, but my wife and I were ultimately dismissive with comments like "you're young to be thinking about sex and children" "you don't need to label yourself" and more.

Clearly we didn't respond in a healthy manner, but what do we need to do next?

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@asexualityonreddit

I hate being called hot XD
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@asexualityonreddit

Guys!! It’s possible to find asexuals that are your type!

I recently met someone! And then soon we got really close and started dating and he said he was asexual!! And I honestly couldn’t be happier! Like I found someone who understands what I feel and I don’t need to make my self agree with things I don’t agree with!!!
Fellow asexuals it is possible! ♾️

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@asexualityonreddit

Almost 2026 and still waiting for people to agree on what sexual attraction exactly is

Lots of mixed opinion on what it is exactly so ya.

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@asexualityonreddit

For all my alloromantics out there
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@asexualityonreddit

damn okay.
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@asexualityonreddit

The amount of invasive questions and disregard for folks on the ace spectrum is crazy

I just wanted to vent about this. Every time I'm open about my sexuality, it seems like people feel the need to have free reign to ask deeply personal and invasive questions about what it looks like--or disregard my identity completely. It's so frustrating to me. Especially because I have friends in my life that do this too. I can tell they don't "believe me." I hate it.

Questions like
-Well, do you enjoy sex?
-How can you be asexual if you have sex?
-You know normal people dont want to hook up with everyone they see either, right?

On and on. I just want to fire back with "well, how do you know you're straight? How do you know you're gay?"

Like, you just know. You figure it out. I've spent years agonizing that I felt like a piece of me was missing because I didnt experience the same sexual attraction everyone else does. I hate being dog piled and dismissed even by members of a community that are supposed to accept non-traditional sexualities.

That's all. Just wanted to vent.

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@asexualityonreddit

Sex and Sexuality

https://preview.redd.it/0voyyininqzf1.png?width=1545&format=png&auto=webp&s=76af33614580cb4e2b44e36f21bb9feeba853989

Hi there,

Im looking to get more participants for my groups and I research study. We’re conducting our research study on if sexual identity has an influence on sexual pleasures. The more participants the better- would highly appreciate the participation!

https://calstatela.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_6eOrEbBCp3g9KGa

https://redd.it/1oqhdki
@asexualityonreddit

I just came out. So relieved.

I had a total meltdown post therapy with my brother (we live together). Explained that I loved my bf but didnt care about sex and didnt know what to do. My brother was entirely calm and told me ' I feel the exact same way'

I thought i was insane for feeling like sex was just a side. Turns out my brother felt the same way this whole time.

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@asexualityonreddit

I feel ashamed of my desire for only cuddling and not sex


I (37M) separated from my partner (35M) of nine years a few months ago.

Reflecting on the relationship and my own feelings since separating, it has become clear to me that I am asexual.

After dipping my toe back into the dating pool for the first time this week, I raised my lack of interest in sex with my therapist. She started to “reassure” me that my interest in sex would return as I heal from the separation, find a new partner, etc.

I had to clarify that there isn’t anything to “return”. Sex has always been something I’ve done because it was the expectation, not because I ever wanted it.

I’ve known that about myself for a while. What I’m realizing now, however, is that I still have physical desires.

I want to cuddle. I want to kiss. I want to touch. I want skin contact. I want to rest my head on someone’s lap and feel his hands running through my hair.

I feel embarrassed by this. These feel like the kinds of things a child wants, not a gay man pushing 40.

How do you handle the fact that you don’t have “grown up” desires?

How do you communicate this to other people without feeling embarrassed?

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@asexualityonreddit

hiii is this normal, and asexuals actually feel like this?
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