My daughter identifies hard as Ace. She's 8
So for context, I am her mother, I am pansexual. I've always been open with her with my identity, I would never hide anything from her like that. Her other parent, and my partner is a trans woman. She knows exactly what that means. She's very proud of her identity. I guess what I am posting about is if it's possible for an 8 year old to honestly know her identity like that, or if she is saying she is so she fits in with us. I've seen a lot of posts about people knowing their identity as Ace as early as 10-13, but 8 seems young to me. She stays firm with it, even if the other kids make fun of her at school (which breaks my heart). She also knows that it could change in the future once she hits puberty. Did anyone else know their identity that early?
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So for context, I am her mother, I am pansexual. I've always been open with her with my identity, I would never hide anything from her like that. Her other parent, and my partner is a trans woman. She knows exactly what that means. She's very proud of her identity. I guess what I am posting about is if it's possible for an 8 year old to honestly know her identity like that, or if she is saying she is so she fits in with us. I've seen a lot of posts about people knowing their identity as Ace as early as 10-13, but 8 seems young to me. She stays firm with it, even if the other kids make fun of her at school (which breaks my heart). She also knows that it could change in the future once she hits puberty. Did anyone else know their identity that early?
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‘’ ASMR is sexua- ‘’ the sexual in question ( an attempt to make this a meme for some reason)
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Just need to rant — the comment section was disgusting
Guys, I just saw a reel on Instagram (a friend of mine posted it) — a guy goes up to his wife (while she was cleaning their house) and asks, "Are we gonna have sex today?" and she replies something like, "What we had yesterday was enough. We've been married 16 years — so... no."
Then I made the mistake of looking at the comments.
It was horrifying.
People saying he has to find a lover, that she owes him sex, that “normal” couples do it 3–7 times a week. That “if you love him, you want him.” That she’s broken or flawed. That low libido is a problem that needs fixing. That she doesn’t even have the right to say no.
And of course, the classic: “Sex is a must in a relationship.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
As a biromantic ace, it’s honestly exhausting to see how deeply sex is treated like some kind of obligation or proof of love. Like consent stops existing after marriage. Like saying “no” somehow makes you a bad partner. Like your value is tied to how often you say “yes.”
I’m so tired of this mindset. It’s toxic, and it completely erases healthy, loving relationships that don’t revolve around sex.
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Guys, I just saw a reel on Instagram (a friend of mine posted it) — a guy goes up to his wife (while she was cleaning their house) and asks, "Are we gonna have sex today?" and she replies something like, "What we had yesterday was enough. We've been married 16 years — so... no."
Then I made the mistake of looking at the comments.
It was horrifying.
People saying he has to find a lover, that she owes him sex, that “normal” couples do it 3–7 times a week. That “if you love him, you want him.” That she’s broken or flawed. That low libido is a problem that needs fixing. That she doesn’t even have the right to say no.
And of course, the classic: “Sex is a must in a relationship.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
As a biromantic ace, it’s honestly exhausting to see how deeply sex is treated like some kind of obligation or proof of love. Like consent stops existing after marriage. Like saying “no” somehow makes you a bad partner. Like your value is tied to how often you say “yes.”
I’m so tired of this mindset. It’s toxic, and it completely erases healthy, loving relationships that don’t revolve around sex.
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Is being ace “abnormal”?
I (16F) recently had a conversation with my mum (and my brother somehow got dragged in) about thinking I’m ace. My mum said she thought it was abnormal and to do with hormonal imbalances, and that it’s not natural to go against natural reproductive instincts. My brother also seemed shocked by the idea that I’ve never tried to masturbate (yes, my mum decided to announce that) or shown sexual interest in anything.
My mum says she’s never met anyone ace, and that it’s not common and nobody has it.
I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m thinking I might be cupioromantic too. I have a boyfriend, but like… I want to have a romantic relationship but I do rarely feel it. Does anyone have advice?
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I (16F) recently had a conversation with my mum (and my brother somehow got dragged in) about thinking I’m ace. My mum said she thought it was abnormal and to do with hormonal imbalances, and that it’s not natural to go against natural reproductive instincts. My brother also seemed shocked by the idea that I’ve never tried to masturbate (yes, my mum decided to announce that) or shown sexual interest in anything.
My mum says she’s never met anyone ace, and that it’s not common and nobody has it.
I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m thinking I might be cupioromantic too. I have a boyfriend, but like… I want to have a romantic relationship but I do rarely feel it. Does anyone have advice?
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Welp, I finally found out what all the hype was about...
1.5/5 stars. Would not recommend. I was right the first time.
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1.5/5 stars. Would not recommend. I was right the first time.
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Having an asexual crush is so weird
Like you're so cute and beautiful and when i see you I feel happy
However the thought of doing anything sexual with that person feels profoundly wrong and disturbing
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Like you're so cute and beautiful and when i see you I feel happy
However the thought of doing anything sexual with that person feels profoundly wrong and disturbing
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I hate biology
I hate feeling anything, let alone something I'm disgusted by
I hate being surrounded by it at all turns, without an escape
I hate how our whole world is centered around it, I hate how it's all an expectation
I hate how it's something most people enjoy, I hate that I can't
I hate how fast I can switch from okay with the situation to feeling awful (I literally get headaches)
I hate being an asexual when all forces are against it.
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I hate feeling anything, let alone something I'm disgusted by
I hate being surrounded by it at all turns, without an escape
I hate how our whole world is centered around it, I hate how it's all an expectation
I hate how it's something most people enjoy, I hate that I can't
I hate how fast I can switch from okay with the situation to feeling awful (I literally get headaches)
I hate being an asexual when all forces are against it.
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Would you say this is AroAllo Representation?
Apologies for the long post, but I have heard conflicting opinions on whether or not this counts as ‘representation’ and so I thought I’d ask here.
I’m writing a high fantasy book (duology) that includes a fairly major character (especially in book one) who is Aromantic Allosexual.
The words Asexual, Gay, Aromantic, Heterosexual/Straight, etc aren’t used or really known in the world the book is set in, (I’ve been told before that if the word isn’t explicitly said, then it can’t be representation, which I kind of disagree with but anyway), but the AroAllo character, at multiple points in the book, has discussions/points out that:
- They’ve been (sexually) attracted to many people in the past but nothing has ever felt romantic.
- They have no desire to court/date anyone and never want to marry.
- They’ve never seen this part of them to be an issue.
- When overhearing others talk about romantic attraction, from the description and excitement, he recognises that he’s never felt that way about anyone.
At the start of the book, this character comes across as slightly arrogant, but it’s a defence mechanism. He quietly longs for a solid group of friends where he is just seen and accepted for who he is. He admits this later on, when he does get exactly that.
This character is also an incredibly sociable person, gets very excited when his friends get into relationships (he’s romance positive), hugely values his friendships and familial bonds, and will do anything for them.
The book is not a coming of age story, and doesn’t revolve around the character discovering this part of themself. (I’ve also been told before that if his identity isn’t the centre of the story then it can’t be representation, which again I disagree with.)
https://redd.it/1nmpfr2
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Apologies for the long post, but I have heard conflicting opinions on whether or not this counts as ‘representation’ and so I thought I’d ask here.
I’m writing a high fantasy book (duology) that includes a fairly major character (especially in book one) who is Aromantic Allosexual.
The words Asexual, Gay, Aromantic, Heterosexual/Straight, etc aren’t used or really known in the world the book is set in, (I’ve been told before that if the word isn’t explicitly said, then it can’t be representation, which I kind of disagree with but anyway), but the AroAllo character, at multiple points in the book, has discussions/points out that:
- They’ve been (sexually) attracted to many people in the past but nothing has ever felt romantic.
- They have no desire to court/date anyone and never want to marry.
- They’ve never seen this part of them to be an issue.
- When overhearing others talk about romantic attraction, from the description and excitement, he recognises that he’s never felt that way about anyone.
At the start of the book, this character comes across as slightly arrogant, but it’s a defence mechanism. He quietly longs for a solid group of friends where he is just seen and accepted for who he is. He admits this later on, when he does get exactly that.
This character is also an incredibly sociable person, gets very excited when his friends get into relationships (he’s romance positive), hugely values his friendships and familial bonds, and will do anything for them.
The book is not a coming of age story, and doesn’t revolve around the character discovering this part of themself. (I’ve also been told before that if his identity isn’t the centre of the story then it can’t be representation, which again I disagree with.)
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like omfg i don't care about your weird fantasies, keep that to yourself please
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How do y'all deal with being asexual?
Being asexual is really weird to me. I like people both in terms of romantic and sexual attractiveness but because I don't have any interest in sex or enjoyment in it, I tend to get in my head about it.
I don't tend to be into people that are also asexual so its really difficult because I fear/know that they're definitely a sex-haver.
Obviously I know there's no way to suddenly have a sex drive or whatever but I was wondering if anyone had any good ways of kinda dealing with it. It was fine as a teenager but now that im in my 20s it's just really weird.
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Being asexual is really weird to me. I like people both in terms of romantic and sexual attractiveness but because I don't have any interest in sex or enjoyment in it, I tend to get in my head about it.
I don't tend to be into people that are also asexual so its really difficult because I fear/know that they're definitely a sex-haver.
Obviously I know there's no way to suddenly have a sex drive or whatever but I was wondering if anyone had any good ways of kinda dealing with it. It was fine as a teenager but now that im in my 20s it's just really weird.
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Roommate spray painted the toilet seat and lid I don't know why
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