Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism.

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A question I've been wanting to ask you all...

Was there ever a time where you were indecisive on who you are, but you knew it was somewhere under the ace or aro spectrum?

And how did it reflect in your relationships and friendships?

https://redd.it/1nkzupa
@asexualityonreddit
Open Mc server

Minecraft aro/ace server setup.

Hey guys, I'm just finished up setting a MC server for my discord group (it's an aro/Ace discord) and thought I would share it with you guys if you would all like to join.

In the discord 13 people said they would play or be interested in playing on the server. But obviously they all won't be on at the same time so it's open to other ace/aro people.

Since I'm making it a public server I've installed a claim plugin so no griefieng or stealing would be possible. There are a few other plugins installed but it's mostly vanilla quality of life plugins. You don't need to install anything.

I've created a new discord server just for this so feel free to join. Any other aro/ace discord owners feel free to share with your group if anyone wants to join and make it one big collaborative world where all other servers can hang out and chat on at no extra cost :)

The server has just opened today and both bedrock and Java can join.

The rules are simple.
1) be nice to everyone.
2) no bullying, politics or any other offensive & sensitive topics.
3) have fun.

https://discord.gg/KVrjdQFmb5

Mods delete if not allowed (I've read the rules and it's seems fine). Thanks

https://redd.it/1nl5jhe
@asexualityonreddit
Are you guys out to people irl?

I’m 23M and I’m not. Just curious if anyone else is.

I tried telling one person(a distant cousin), because I thought she would get it cuz she lived a life that went against our cultures sexual norms(I’m Indian-American, like South Asian Indian). But she said it sounded like “incel cope” and I just “needed to get laid before I became a full blown incel”. Then she thought I was joking and “saw through the joke” and I laughed it off with her. Yeah, never telling anyone again 💀💀💀

I also gradually stopped talking to her lol.

I just tell people “I’m religious and waiting for marriage, wanna work on my career first” now. People don’t prod and sometimes actually give me respect for it. It’s only a half-lie cuz I am religious and I do wanna work on my career first, but none of those are the concrete reasons why obviously.

https://redd.it/1nl4559
@asexualityonreddit
Was organising my pins and badges and after putting these next to each other, the idea of an ace bimbo confused and intrigues me, is that possible?
https://redd.it/1nld9x7
@asexualityonreddit
Came across this post today

https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/znh3hj/why\_is\_asexuality\_apart\_of\_the\_lgbtq\_community/

Why? Why do people discriminate against us and then turn around and cry about how they're so discriminated? Like obviously they are discriminated but shouldn't that make them have more empathy instead of continuing the discrimination cycle? I don't understand why would you assume we're not facing oppression? If you tell someone you're ace or aroace they immediately assume your hormones are messed up, you have mental issues, you were traumatized, you're a prude, or you're faking for attention. We include trans people in LGBTQ+ when that is an identity and not a sexual orientation. Why assume that because we can be in opposite gender relationships, even though they would be heteroromantic and not heterosexual relationships, that we don't count what about bisexuals then if a bisexual woman dates a man are they not bisexual anymore does that automatically make them straight. They claim it's not a sexual orientation but it is objectively more of one then transgender. Asexuality is about how much SEXUAL attraction you feel what about that is not a sexual orientation?

Also not saying that trans people shouldn't be included just that asexuality is clearly more about sexuality than transgender imo.

https://redd.it/1nliydg
@asexualityonreddit
Being ace is hard, even in ace communities

This is coming from the standpoint of someone sex repulsed, so please keep that in mind before commenting. This is more of an opening for discussion.
Sometimes, it feels like theres more of an expectation on sex aversed aces to be extra mindful of how they express themselves. Otherwise, they must be accepting of any non-constructive criticism on its way. But it's not a situation that's "just the internet". In here, I come across many respectful posts, fustrated, and angry rant posts about being sex averse and they are downvoted to HELL. And it saddens me a lot! If theres any place thats appropriate to express discomfort, disgust or grief, its here. Not everything is a personal attack on someone that happens to be scrolling.

I understand that mods can't mod everything, and that you're gonna deal with a jerk or 10 just by being active online. My concern is, if an ace community isn't the place to express being sex aversed, then what is the minority supposed to do? Whatever we are going through, it's mistaken as shaming people who are elsewhere on the spectrum if we post it. Even if a bit distasteful, isn't it on us as an ace community to show them the understanding that others can't give? Shouldn't we be more empathetic because no one else will understand aces, regardless of the spectrum, like us?
If someone is being blatantly hateful or disrespectful, that's another story. But these are my thoughts, thanks for reading

https://redd.it/1nlf9zx
@asexualityonreddit
Why do we need to be willing to have open relationships, especially if we do not like sex?

Warning: The topic of sex may be inappropriate for younger Internet users, so I sincerely ask that you click off this post before continuing.

I just do not see what have sex so glorifying to the point where it is considered something work breaking up the relationship or looking for a partner who will specifically provide you with sex. It is to the point where people act like sex is the only thing separating a relationship from a friendship. This goes for people of all gender identities. What about us choosing to live together, spend money on each other, cuddle, kiss, hug, sleep in the same bed, raise a family. compromise on some of our interests and hobbies for the relationship's sake, introduce each other to our loved ones, acting as one another's emotional support, dying for each other if the need arises, and choosing to build a future together because we most felt connected to one another out of the hundreds of people we know?

Maybe it also has to do with me being a black man. The fact is that people expect my only interests to be sex, trucks, rap, fried chicken, basketball, and American football. There is a reason why people assume you are lying when you say you don't want sex, and why people on this very subreddit no less ask if asexual men even exist. So, it feels like I am being punished or getting labeled a villain because I have my own boundaries (I REALLY do not like the idea of touched sexually or touching another person sexually), or that I'm just "not good enough" for my supposed partner. And people wouldn't be able to accept someone like me saying all this about relationships since that doesn't fit their narrative.

I should mention that I am 21 and have never been in a relationship before. If I ever get a partner, I plan to make it clear what my boundaries are but I never know when she would feel like those are something she has a problem with.

But regardless of all that, what do you think about what I am saying? What am I misunderstanding, and how should my views on relationships change? Do I have no choice but to have an open relationship or date someone just like me if I want to maintain my own comfort? Am I being too unempathetic or failing to understand people?

https://redd.it/1nll0c4
@asexualityonreddit
Any transfems/NB folks here who got scared by breast growth?

Hey hey,

I am a 22 y/o AMAB transfem/non-binary person and I started HRT two months ago.

I generally want a feminine body and feminine features, but I got extremely scared once my breasts started to grow: The thing is, that I consider certain parts of the human body utterly disgusting, probably due to my asexuality. I feel really disgusted by nipples (of all genders) and genitals. This is not a gender dysphoria thing, because I equally dislike seeing them on others. And now starting to grow bigger and bigger nipples scares me a bit. 😭

https://redd.it/1nlsha3
@asexualityonreddit
My ex cheated the day before we had our first time together and idk how to feel

Self explanatory
I’m not going to explain the whole situation again cuz I’ve been doing this for one week straight,
So just know that this man was a cheater, a liar (maybe in the pathological sens) and I even want to say a manipulator. Ofc I dumped and feel very disappointed, angry and disgusted. We didn’t even pass the 1month tgt.

That was my first time ever. It’s been hard for me since I fall somewhere on the ace spectrum (Demi and aego probably) and I felt really relieved on the moment because it went better than what I was expecting. I didn’t felt bad or dirty, I felt time myself for once. And for once I trusted someone enough to feel comfortable about this with him.

But now I just don’t know how to feel
I feel used. Even if I know he was probably sincere on the moment I can’t know for sure.
It just sucks to know I ""wasted"" this moment with such a dickhead.
He disgust me. He lied to me.

But at the same time this moment was for me too. Not only for him. It was a proof I’m capable of feeling comfortable with this, more easily than before

Bug still I’m scared it will reinforce my asexuality at a time where I felt more comfortable with it and where I felt it loosening up.
I’m scared I won’t be comfortable or trust someone easily with that ever again

Why do relationship always ends up revolving about sex. I feel so out of place in this generation

https://redd.it/1nlx2er
@asexualityonreddit
Should I even try dating?

I'm a woman in late 20s. I want to date but I don't want to have sex. I just know, especially with most men that they won't want to be with me if I don't want to have sex. :( I feel hopeless and lonely. I am hoping once I move out of my family home I can have more privacy. But I still just don't think sex is important at all, I want to get to know someone really well and hang out with them. I don't know why I bother but I don't want to be single until I'm 40+ which is probably what will happen... I feel so lonely and I don't like myself. Most people rent or have their private spaces, most people had partners already. I met one but when I said I am not comfortable with sex he lost interest I think. :(

https://redd.it/1nlzxjg
@asexualityonreddit
CAN asexuals get butterflies when having a crush?




Ok sooo, idk if i asked this question before. So pls remind me.


Someone commented on me and told me that the signs of sexual attraction. And they included butterflies in their stomach and i thought ‘’ huh, weird. Aren’t they romantic? ‘’

Unless it can be for any type of attraction

Or bc allo ppls attractions are mostly intertwined and all of that.



Or maybe i am just dumb.



I always thought feeling butterflies in your stomach is some sort of romantic attraction ( i am saying that as someone who never had butterflies in their stomach. I watch romantic shows or episode that dont include sex. And when they described butterflies in their stomach i thought it was more of a romantic attraction than sexual)



Sooo yeah. Thats what brought me or ash this question.

Can asexuals feel butterflies in their stomach when having a romantic crush?


I would like to know


https://redd.it/1nlzyo7
@asexualityonreddit
CAN asexuals get butterflies when having a crush?




Ok sooo, idk if i asked this question before. So pls remind me.


Someone commented on me and told me that the signs of sexual attraction. And they included butterflies in their stomach and i thought ‘’ huh, weird. Aren’t they romantic? ‘’

Unless it can be for any type of attraction

Or bc allo ppls attractions are mostly intertwined and all of that.



Or maybe i am just dumb.



I always thought feeling butterflies in your stomach is some sort of romantic attraction ( i am saying that as someone who never had butterflies in their stomach. I watch romantic shows or episode that dont include sex. And when they described butterflies in their stomach i thought it was more of a romantic attraction than sexual)



Sooo yeah. Thats what brought me or ash this question.

Can asexuals feel butterflies in their stomach when having a romantic crush?


I would like to know


https://redd.it/1nm013f
@asexualityonreddit