Any Other Male Aces Face Sexism?

The title’s pretty much self explanatory. I’ve mainly gotten this from my dad. He basically invalidates anything I say about being ace, he continues to try to see if I find any women hot “in case I changed”, and sometimes he even tries to say that society has made me feel ashamed of my masculine desires and I only pretend to be asexual. Any other male aces have to deal with people who think men must want sex?

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Could I be on the Ace spectrum or am I just overthinking?

Hello! I’m 18F and recently had a conversation with some friends where the topic of sex came up. They were all really into it, and I just felt kind of out of place.

I’ve never dated anyone before, but I’m definitely interested in having a romantic relationship if I meet the right person. I’ve had crushes on both guys and girls, but I’ve never been super into the idea of intercourse. I’m okay with things like kissing and maybe upper-body touching, but the thought of someone touching me intimately, especially if it’s a guy, makes me feel really uncomfortable, even kind of repulsed.

It’s not like I don’t have a sex drive, because I do. It’s just the idea of someone else being involved in that way that feels wrong or invasive to me.

My sister is Aro/Ace, so I’ve thought about talking to her about this, but we’re not that close, and she doesn’t even know I like women. So could this be a form of asexuality? Or am I overthinking things?

It’s not something that’s ruining my life or anything, but I think hearing from others who might relate could help me feel a little less like a total weirdo. Thank you in advance!

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how are allosexuals allosexuals?

I’m aroace but I sort of find it make sense how people who can feel romantic attraction feel it, but i don’t really understand people who feel sexual attraction. I’m not a prude, I’m not against it, but i don’t really understand how people can go with their day, look at someone and say “wowee! i want to crank that guy!”. I just can’t really understand that. especially allosexuals. do they always feel like that when they see someone who is their type or not?

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So I'm writing a "smut" book about an asexual dom and a heterosexual sub, and I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I include sex scenes?

The character I've written is asexual, and sex indifferent, leaning towards sex preferable when it comes to making their partner happy. In other words a 'pleasure dom.'

I've come to terms with the fact that there isn't much representation of the "sex repulsed when it's done to me, but I'm happy to do it to you" subsection of asexuality, especially when the giver is a man, and I'm wanting to be the change I'd like to see in that regard. As you could probably guess, this character is precisely that, he doesn't want anything to do with having her pleasure him, but he's very interested in providing it.

To my knowledge, no media portraying this kind of relationship exists. And that's sad.

Now, obviously sex is a part of the relationship between these two. But I don't want the book to just be that. I'm 40 pages (on A3 size paper) in and I feel as though the relationship between these two characters is at a point where they would be comfortable with it.

Now, I don't mind writing sex scenes, in fact they are quite natural to me when it comes to writing them, but I don't want this to just be another smut book.

I've of course written the female MC to have certain fetishes and whatnot, and of course they're interested in doing those things with the male MC, but yet again, there's tons of that out there.

Fade to black? Just a "well, go on then" followed by the next chapter and a "she awoke-"

My main reason for not wanting to include things like this is that I'm trying to make it accessible to all audiences. I'm no fan of needless sex scenes in books/movies/tv shows, and I'd hate for a sex repulsed individual to put down my book because of it, where that book may be the only representation of their preferred relationship dynamic, or a dynamic they dream about.

I've given lots of thought to just doing a "Clean" fade to black edit, and also providing a "dirty" detailed edit.

I'm interested in what you all have to say.

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@asexualityonreddit

Top or bottom?

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[x-post] Alastor, I don't think that's what Angel meant...
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1m0m27s

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i’m sick of being made to feel like a puritan for being repulsed by sex

for context, i’m a 27 year old grey ace trans woman.

it seems that every online and irl “space” i can find to socialize with other queer and trans people is extremely sexual. they often tend to be dominated by casual flirting or regaling tales of sexual experiences, and these interactions are very triggering; frankly, i find folks discussing their sex lives to be disgusting irrespective of the dynamics, sources, or details.

i’m appreciative of the few ace friends and groups i have, but nowhere else has proven to be safe or willing to accommodate. it feels to me like an extension of most of society’s failure to be truly inclusive and tendency to tailor things to the most common experience. i understand many queer people historically have been and are still forced to repress their sexualities, and feel a desire to discuss their sex lives as freely as cis hetero people get to, or even just at all, but i can’t turn off the part of my brain that despises the normality of sexual discussion as a whole.

i can appreciate that for some, sexuality is truly a pillar of their expression, and i can’t argue against that meaningfully. nothing can be perfectly tailored to everyone and this is one of the many cases where a fractional group is not taken into consideration because of a perceived unrealistic level of commitment or change required from the rest of the community, but it is still hurtful and isolating.

this last bit is quite catty: i also just find it boring. why are we talking about, like, the default thing our instincts and existence have driven us to do instead of something more interesting or novel or inventive?

https://redd.it/1m18s26
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Thought this belongs here
https://redd.it/1m1a3jz
@asexualityonreddit

being an asexual lesbian is so isolating. i am forever alone 😭

i am so darn lonely. i dream of having a girlfriend to love who will love me too and be everything to each other than any other couple is just without the sex part. i am gona be 44 next month and i feel like my time is truly running out on finding my soulmate 💔

https://redd.it/1m1bwrc
@asexualityonreddit

my counselor is not understanding me

so i go to a counselor at my psychiatric clinic and we just talk about life and stuff and i brought up the fact that i recently came to acceptance of being asexual, she completely shattered all my pride though.. she told me its sad that i cant see that humans bodies are beautiful and that i should maybe ”explore” myself as in touching my skin and bodyparts whilst putting on a lotion or something to ”connect” with myself and that its sad that i am 24 and havent felt the ”pleasures” of life… whilst i am also trans and feel very very uncomfortable in my own feminine body :/ so yeah… i like her other than that but yeaaaah… idk. ew. first month as a newly discovered asexual and i am already getting told i can be fixed.

https://redd.it/1m1dp4n
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Okay rude
https://redd.it/1m1ciiq
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I got my ace ring 🥳
https://redd.it/1m195si
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I just wanted some marshmallows damn it...
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How did you people figured it out?

Genuine question. How does one even figure out if they’re ace or just not interested yet?

I’ve been wondering for a while and I think I might be on the asexual spectrum. But I have no Idea how to sort of confirm it with myself? Since I’m a high school student, I’m wondering, many people would say “you’re just too young to want it” but am I really? Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I’m kinda horrible at forming sentences.

But my question is, how and when did you all figure out you’re ace?

https://redd.it/1m1j0iy
@asexualityonreddit

Newly Realised I’m Asexual — Still Learning What That Means in My Relationship

I (F23) and my partner (F25) have been together just over a year. I recently realised I’m asexual. I’ve never been overly interested in sex and sometimes even kissing, and although I care deeply for my girlfriend and love spending time together, the physical stuff just doesn’t come naturally or often for me.

My girlfriend is sexual, though she’s very understanding. We’ve had honest talks and she says she doesn’t need sex often and reassures me that I’m enough — and I believe her, I really do. I just sometimes feel guilty that I can’t give her what she might want more of. I want to want it more — I just don’t.

At the start of our relationship I was very physical and affectionate, but that faded with time — same in my past relationship. I now realise I might have been masking or misinterpreting my feelings. I’d love to hear from anyone else who’s felt this way. Is it normal to still want to be affectionate emotionally, but feel little to no physical desire? Does anyone else feel like they’re not “enough” for their partner?

I guess I’m just trying to find my place and feel less alone in this. Thank you in advance 💜

https://redd.it/1m1ih2j
@asexualityonreddit

The bisexual sitting meme also apparently applies to aces and aros. Got a solid laugh the first time I heard about it because I also sit like a maniac.
https://redd.it/1m1l9zs
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

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Is it really that rare to want love without sex?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking for too much.

I’m an asexual guy who dreams of love — real, deep emotional love — but without sex or physical expectations. No kids, no traditional roles. Just two people choosing each other every day, sharing life and supporting one another.

But where I live (for example, Algeria), I feel like that’s almost impossible to find. People here don’t even know what asexuality is, let alone accept it. Everything seems to revolve around sex, marriage, and having children.

Is there anyone out there who also feels like this?
Is it really that rare to want companionship without sex?

https://redd.it/1m1paio
@asexualityonreddit

Confused about HRT and how it made me suddenly stop experiencing sexual attraction (as well as just being confused about my asexuality)

Okay so I've been a bit confused recently about how exactly I figured out I was asexual and the time between then and now. Because 8 months ago I started HRT and had a sudden drop in libido which made me start to question if I was asexual, I then noticed that I also didn't find anyone visually sexually attractive anymore or have any sort of desire for sex. This has changed a bit now and I think I've figured out that I'm demisexual/greyasexual, however I'm still just really confused how this happened so quickly when I started HRT. I also still cannot find anyone visually sexually attractive which is something I was able to feel very easily before. And I instead find that my sexual attraction and desire to have sex with a specific person is completely based on emotional connection rather than visuals.

I was mostly just wandering if anyone has had a similar sort of experience or could maybe know what is going on, thanks :))

https://redd.it/1m1qt3b
@asexualityonreddit

Went on a hot topic spree and look what I found! My new favourite shirt and it’s ace merch too!
https://redd.it/1m1rs9a
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