Feeling invalidated

So I'm demisexual, only figured this out around last month, before for years I would say that I'm just ace until I met my gf

I still call myself ace because it still falls under that category, but multiple times have I been told that I'm not ace because I do have some sexual desires and that demisexual doesn't fall under ace. And even though I do have these occasional sexual thoughts, they are rare

I've been comfortable calling myself ace for the better part of 2 years, so it's kind of annoying when I'm told by multiple people that I'm not what I am

What do you guys think?

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@asexualityonreddit

Help I think I’m asexual. I’m confused.

Can someone answer my questions about asexuality?

Preferably DM since it’s quite private.

Update: yea I’m asexual. Whats up.

https://redd.it/pfywgw
@asexualityonreddit

I think I finally found my labels!

Oh well, I always considered myself aro/ace and for years I was fine with that. But today, by chance I found out the words Aegosexual/Aegoromantic, and this fits sooo much better! When I read the definition of Aegosexual I was just like "Jep, jep, and jep, this all fits so perfectly!"

I really got nothing against sex, but I would always be repulsed by the thought of doing it myself, but at the same time I usually enjoy watching/reading about sexy stuff, not just with me in it. I usually let my fictional characters have the fun.

So I was really happy that I found something that fits me so well. I now consider myself Aego Aro/Ace :D

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@asexualityonreddit

Gentle reminder
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On a research survey about the impact of the pandemic on young adults, there was a section on sex life… I had to laugh at the way I had to answer the questions as an ace!
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@asexualityonreddit

I confessed to my ace crush/now boyfriend with a stuffed raccoon and a note. He hates raccoons. 😂❤

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@asexualityonreddit

seriously tho
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@asexualityonreddit

An awesome pop socket just arrived!!
https://redd.it/pg8xa0
@asexualityonreddit

What do you say?

Personally I say LGBTQIA+ because it includes asexuality and I'm asexual so it kinda makes sense.

View Poll

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@asexualityonreddit

The sexualization of the LGBT/GRSM community is horrible

(TW: mentions of aphobia)

Let me start off with earlier today while I was scrolling through Tiktok. I saw an appreciation/simp post of Saiki K (a pink haired anime character) simply stating that he is Trans, ace, and aro. So many of the comments were filled with hate saying that he wasn't, and its confirmed that he is all of those things. Many of the comments were arguments that he was a minor. You do not need to be above the age of 18 to know you are lgbt/grsm.

I feel like such a big reason that people think you need to be an adult to know whether you belong in the community is because it's almost always sexualized. I saw a post on Instagram saying that the top category on pornhub was "lesbian" which is the reason I even came to make this post because it was my final straw.

This post immediately reminded me of the reason as to why aphobia is so present even within the community and outside of it. How can you sexualize not having sexual attraction or not having romantic attraction? The answer is you really can't or it's almost impossible. People are so used to the subtle sexualization of us that it doesn't even occur to them.

https://redd.it/pg5gwm
@asexualityonreddit

Wow internet

I just saw a post that said that ace/aro people should not be included in the LGBT community because it is still possible for ace/aro people to oppress "actual" LGBT people, so they don't want to be in a community with their oppressors.

Ok sure, but there is already so much biphobia within the LGBT community. Bi people repeatedly get excluded from LGBT spaces because them being in a "straight" relationship makes them "not bi enough".

There's also transphobia and other hate within the community. People get excluded from non-binary spaces for not being "non-binary" enough.

Sometimes people in the community will oppress against other people in the same community. Why? Because some humans suck.

But the community still gives us the opportunity to find people who will support us.

Sure aro/ace people don't have the EXACT same struggles as gay or bi people, but we can still support each other. We can focus on our shared experiences instead of our differences. Aro/ace people have to come out too. Aro/ace people can also have parents who don't accept us for who we are. Aro/ace people also have to deal with religious reasons for why their "choice" is the wrong one.

I know that even if I don't share your identity, if you are LGBT, I will support you however I can. THAT is what the community is for.

So saying that aces/aros don't get oppressed enough to be included in the community is just unnecessary exclusion.

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@asexualityonreddit

Probably just more cake tbh
https://redd.it/pgcznv
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