I could be ace flux because this is how I feel sometimes
https://redd.it/1pr7qv2
@asexualityonreddit

Monochrome fit today. Been leaning into clothes that fit into who I am and would love to hear other unique styles
https://redd.it/1praf0k
@asexualityonreddit

Why are some people bothered by asexuality ?

Here’s something I don’t get lol why are some people bothered by asexuality how does me wanting to be single or never do sexual activities bothers you lol like it’s not that serious at all literally it’s my life isn’t my choice to be asexual this is just who I am asexuality isn’t a choice ,no sexuality is a choice actually so people need to worry about bigger things and important things that actually affects there lives because us asexuals don’t affect no one life.

https://redd.it/1pr97u9
@asexualityonreddit

Oversexualized society via media

Most of you are too young to remember the huge flap in the 70's and 80's around "subliminal advertising." The gist was that images were claimed to be secreted into ads depicting sex to appeal to the subconscious to make a person think "sex" when they saw the product and be manipulated into purchases.

Up until then, in the hokey days of TV and advertising, the over-sexualizing was pretty juvenile and terribly obvious. A shapely woman in a pretty glamorous skimpy dress draped over the hood of a luxury car, is one example. Buy the car, get the (willing) girl.

Then the book "Subliminal Seduction" came out, and the buzz was all about sexualized images being placed in advertising, with the expected denials from the industry. The claim was that drawings of anatomy and things were in ice cubes, wisps of clouds, folds of cloth, et cetera. Simple case of pareidolia? Who knows.

But now

I'm a 68-year-old woman who gets YT and other ads (looking at you, Reddit) CONSTANTLY for ED medications. Hello? Don't have that body part and not with anyone who does. It's either that or the premature ejaculation ads. Straight-up sexualized fashion and other ads. Can't the algo figure out my demographic any closer than that???

Hell, I just recently played a piece ("Palladio" by Ken Jenkins) written in 1995 to celebrate a Renaissance architect, but nobody can now hear without thinking black/white mysterious diamond TV commercials that more than implied two people going to go do the horizontal mambo in the next minute.

So then

I have to wonder if the society in which we live is OVERsexualized and that what is thought to be "normal" is a warped definition of human sexuality in all reality. I think if I put the color blue into enough media consumption, it wouldn't be long before the majority of the population was wearing, painting their walls, designing blue refrigerator/stove combos, and claiming blue as their favorite color. Add the "survival" triggering aspect, as well as the gratuitous pleasure component and it's ARGGGGGHHH!!!

So, so over it.

[scoots soapbox back under desk\]

https://redd.it/1prc7on
@asexualityonreddit

This seems accurate for most of us
https://redd.it/1prdmo0
@asexualityonreddit

Nationalism
https://redd.it/1prh6ud
@asexualityonreddit

My allo partner wants to have sex

So, my girlfriend, since i said i was assexual, first she doenst believed me that much, but now she believes but still insists on having oral sex and all that stuff, yesterday she tried to "seduce me" to do something just cuz my pen was hard, but i dont even know the cause of that erection, i didnt want anything, we did oral sex to each other and by the end of the act she said it could happen more, and said to me to consider having normal sex with her BUT I DONT WANT TO, first, this month we already had oral sex, second i cant handle the risk of having a kid, I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX THIS OFTEN, man, if we had the night just watching tiktok or sum i would enjoy SO MUCH MORE. I did enjoy the "mechanic" part of sex, and the end that it, but i dont want to have it, when its happening im like, "ok this is kinda good" but on the start and on the after i feel like someone is talking about some shit that i dont fucking care, i dont want sex that often, maybe sometimes in a 2-4 months span i can handle, but more than this its fucking overwhelming. Someone help me

https://redd.it/1prkp3h
@asexualityonreddit

Stop it damn it I am just trying to exist
https://redd.it/1prlb0b
@asexualityonreddit

Songs Recommendations that are Ace coded

Hello! I am creating an ace playlist for myself and am having a hard time finding songs that are ace or at least ace coded. It just seems that most songs are about romance or sex (which are good songs) and I’m looking for something different.

https://redd.it/1prjcdo
@asexualityonreddit

I wish I was a aroace.

I’m asexual, unfortunately not aromantic. I’m literally a hopeless romantic, constantly daydreaming about it and it’s frustrating.
The realistic chances of me being in a romantic relationship feel close to zero, and not just for me but for many people in this situation.
This realization often makes me wish I were aroace so I wouldn’t have to want something that feels largely inaccessible.

I’m still pretty young and most relationships at this age aren’t very sexual but even participating in them feels pointless. It feels unfair to invest time, mine or someone else’s in something that’s unlikely to work out.

And people often advise me that have good platonic relationships, I do.. I do have very good friends but the need for the other won’t go away by just having good friends, I keep myself busy all the time, studies, hobbies and what not but yet…

Anyone who relates? And would like to share their experience or opinion?

https://redd.it/1prkzi1
@asexualityonreddit

Being so scared of sex bad english not running by sentence

Sorry for my bad English I have always been so scared of sex for no reason I am a virgin I never got sa or rape or anything but it genuinely scares me so bad like I am so scared of sex to the point where I wanna die a virgin.. my biggest fear is losing my virginity like seriously i do watch porn but i don’t want it to happen to me in fact I am scared it will happen to me alot of people assume that I seen something that made me scared or that I did get sa or rape but not remembering what happened I just wanna know what is wrong with me it is this normal??

https://redd.it/1progyf
@asexualityonreddit

I’m really confused, help

Hi, I (17F) have always been able to enjoy looking at or reading sex in fiction or whatever but I have never in my life ever been turned on as in my body has never had a reaction to it really? Sometimes I think I experience a want for sex but when I’m in real life scenarios where it could potentially happen I feel no desire for it, I don’t think it’s disgusting and I want to want it i just don’t. I’ve had one proper boyfriend before and it still only lasted maybe 3 months. (Would like to add this is mainly because I suffer mentally and so am in and out of hospitals which makes dating hard.) If we were doing anything sexual(never more than kissing really maybe we would get handsy) I would enjoy jt in the way that I knew I should or something like it was fun but my body had no reaction I was never turned on. I’m also on medications that could potentially lower libido but it was the same before I was on them and now I havnt been on them for a while and it’s still the same. Any advice or insight would be super appreciated ❤️

https://redd.it/1propkt
@asexualityonreddit

Am I aroace or simply avoidant?

Hey. I identify as aroace but I am wondering if I shouldn't be. The thing is that, first of all, I do have sexual fantasies involving me and other people from real life but I just don't feel like they can be actually acted on. They are separate from my real life experience. The real thing for me is neither romantic like in the movies, nor sexual like in fantasies. I mean I did have "sexual" and "romantic" experiences but they feel like nothing.
Secondly, when I like someone, I avoid them. To me it all sounds like my mental conditions are preventing me from feeling the actual feelings irl. It's like If I could, I would be the most basic allosexual person

I am questioning myself because I am proud and out and too often it happens that I don't behave like a "true" aroace spec. By this I mean that I understand allo people too well. I feel their pain, but not their pleasure. So yeah all that causes some aroace people to be surprised how can I be one of them. I am writing this because I feel like I'm in an identity crisis and I am just wondering if you guys think that I'm one of you or not.

https://redd.it/1prqwgb
@asexualityonreddit

Some Flowers! by Me.

https://redd.it/1prv47r
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual couples? Do you face a lot of criticism?

I'm not in a relationship right now but when I was a teen I dated my high school sweetheart but we were abstinent the entire 4 years we dated but our relationship was often described as "weird" and we got ostracized as a result by school mates and even our own friends called us "just friends" or said we just seemed like we were just friends and honestly this kinda hurt me. It still kinda does looking back because first off, we were so young when we were dating but apparently we were supposed to already be banging each other by the first year 🫠 this just goes to show how judgmental people are over ace/aro type relationships and coin the term "you're just friends" just cause the couple doesn't appear "romantically enough" or just cause they don't sleep with each other, when there's plenty of "just friends" who in fact sleep with each other. Is that supposed to be an insult by any means? One of my exes said our relationship felt like it was just a friendship just cause we were long distant but cause I didn't give into him and that term just triggers me now. I hate it. Why can't people just accept that there's sexless relationships or aromantic couples without being so rude or judgemental?

https://redd.it/1prt6jg
@asexualityonreddit

Why do I keep having sex, and how do I stop? TW: MENTIONS OF CSA

Hello. I'm AFAB, I'm 20 years old, and I'm 99% sure that I am asexual or, at the very least, demisexual.

It's been a pattern for me that when someone (usually men) makes sexual advances toward me, or I know they want to have sex with me. I do it despite the fact that I am not sexually attracted to them. Afterwards, I feel weird. I feel good that someone found me attractive, but that brief ego boost is followed up with this deep sense that I betrayed myself. I'm fine during foreplay and when he gets hard, and I just kind of ignore it, but during sex, I kind of just try and do what he wants. It becomes all about making sure he's happy. I think to myself, "I could've gone without that. I gained nothing." It brings me back to when I was younger, when I would let guys touch me even though I didn't want to, so they "wouldn't be mad" or "stop being friends with me".

I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I ONLY have this feeling with men. Granted, I've only slept with one AFAB person who was also feminine-presenting, but it was different. She also claimed to be demi, but we ended up sleeping together. For once, I was actually enthusiastic about it and didn't feel gross or anything afterwards. And after that, I no longer want to be attracted to men romantically. I still am, of course, but now I've developed this kind of aversion.

Even so, even when I'm met with that initial punch of disgust when a man is aroused by me. I still have sex with him. It's like, "just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I have to force other people to be asexual. This is what allo-people would do in this situation, why should I change that just because I'm not?"

I don't know, it's a lot. It would just be nice to know if anyone else has dealt with this or is going through something similar.

TLDR: I'm on the ace spectrum, but impulsively have sex/put myself in sexual situations to make the other person happy. Help.

https://redd.it/1prwo0g
@asexualityonreddit

Raw thoughts

Raw thoughts. Lately I’ve been thinking. I enjoy being alone, but I crave physical affection, physical affection that does not deem a relationship, I don’t see the point in being with one person for the rest of your life, but we’ve made it such a societal norm that you have to be with somebody and intimate to be physically affectionate. I’m nobody’s first choice, I don’t like sex, I don’t like commitments, and I don’t like compromising but Jesus Christ do I crave somebody to want me. Is it OK to be with somebody who does but on my terms? Is it OK to appreciate somebody’s body without wanting to have sex? I easily get overwhelmed I don’t mean to, but I don’t feel like I deserve to be loved because of it. I get attached too easily so I push myself away. I don’t want these feelings. I want to be loved and reciprocate it. I wish somebody could understand how I feel.

https://redd.it/1prwkhy
@asexualityonreddit