sexual attraction

is sexual attraction literally just when u see a person and want to have penetrative sex? what if i never want to have penetrative sex but there plenty of other sensual things id enjoy?

i have vaginismus im confused by the whole sexual attraction of things bc penetrative sex is not my sex...

https://redd.it/1pit3gt
@asexualityonreddit

I think the number of people who qualify as being Asexual is much higher than at first glance because of one factor: Sex-Favorability

Let me just be blunt here. I'm aspec of some kind, either demisexual, aegosexual, or just asexual, I can't really relate to the experiences of allos and the idea of someone being "hot" escapes me, yet I personally love sex and i'm engaged despite the fact that most of my attraction could be termed as nebulous or alterous, the ol' "I can't tell the difference between platonic, romantic, and sexual feelings". I've been "confused" like this since I was 14 and now i'm 25 and I still have no good answers, and i've always felt transient inside the ace community because of how despite the fact that it's repeated over and over again that being asexual doesn't mean being repulsed by sex, in practice that is who uses the label more often than not and its not hard to see why.

Anyways talking with other people about the complexities of attraction from that time forwarde specially in the very queer and diverse autistic community has made something a bit clearer.. I think I may of not had such a question in my head if I was just a few years older... a lot of people I find feel similarly thought don't seem to question it as much or just decide not to label thier experiences, or they call themselves straight or bi, etc. It seems at least a bit that if someone is sex favorable, experiences romantic attraction or some kind of attraction that makes relationships enjoyable enough to stay, then the thought may not come into their head that maybe they don't TECHNICALLY experience sexual attraction, ergo the lack of interest into the ace community.

Anyways what do y'all think about that? Is what i'm saying making any sense?

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@asexualityonreddit

Someone said “why do you watch BL series when you don’t even like guys?” And I’m like “well why do you watch House when you said you hate doctor’s appointments?”

Like, just cause I don’t want to be in those situations personally doesn’t mean I hate seeing it on a screen? Also, you don’t have to find the actors/characters in a show attractive to find the story interesting. Like bruh

https://redd.it/1piokqw
@asexualityonreddit

Misunderstanding asexuality/ not feeling ace enough until you find out about aegosexuality like:
https://redd.it/1pj5v83
@asexualityonreddit

Got my nails painted the other day!
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1pj68sh

https://redd.it/1pj6fzj
@asexualityonreddit

Got my nails painted the other day!

https://redd.it/1pj68sh
@asexualityonreddit

Older(ish) asexuals, how do you deal with the loneliness?

I realized that the older I got, the weaker my friendships became. I didn't have that many friends even before, but now that they're all married or busy with a relationship it feels like I don't have any at all. And I think subconsciously people look down on those who are still single at a certain age. Seems to be social conditioning. I work from home, so no hanging out with coworkers either. For those who are in similar situations, how do you deal with it?

https://redd.it/1pj7z77
@asexualityonreddit

Ace/Aro Couples - Showtime's Couples Therapy Docuseries

*\*Post permitted by moderator*

Hi everyone,

I'm Sophia, a producer with Edgeline Films, the team behind the documentary series Couples Therapy on Showtime. If you're not familiar, the series follows real couples working with Dr. Orna Guralnik through several months of couples therapy.

We're currently looking for participants for an upcoming season, and would love to include relationships where one or more members identify somewhere on the asexual spectrum or aromantic spectrum. We believe that meaningful representation of diverse relationship dynamics enriches both the series and our collective understanding of connection (Dr. Guralnik has experience working with asexual clients).

**What's involved:** Four months of couples therapy with Dr. Orna Guralnik in New York City (all therapy, transportation, and related costs covered and coordinated by production), and your sessions may be part of the final documentary series. Visit this link for more details: [https://forms.gle/f7rtFX8RnJo6fWUA8](https://forms.gle/f7rtFX8RnJo6fWUA8) 

We're looking forward to connecting with couples who might be interested in sharing their journey! Thanks for letting us share this here.

https://redd.it/1pjc6ie
@asexualityonreddit

Shipping as an asexual
https://redd.it/1pjdfcq
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

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@asexualityonreddit

Demi or just lonely

Hi, I'm M28 and I didn't have any kind of relationship before.

I find many people pretty, but I can't imagine being with them. It's hard to describe but I always used to think of it as lack of confidence or social anxiety.

i used to consume nsfw content, but it was mostly erotica / smut or even when I watch something, normal P stuff just seem very boring and fake. for me something like behind the scenes content (even laughing with talking) or just a very softcore cuddling stuff can drive me crazy

i didn't think much about it until a discussion with a friend, saying it's very "unusual " for men to read smut and so. I always thought I'm nowhere near "asexuality" because I know i have high libido, but now i'm rethinking of it.

when i tracked large history of the content i used to enjoy or even my ideas, it's like 99% about some sort of closeness or deep connection rather than something .. explicit.

i searched a bit and some stuff really resonate with me like i didn't think before that i never have any celebrity crush, the idea of a hookup makes me scared (same as arranged marriage too).

but sometimes i think no it's just, being a bit lonely and seeking real human connection. its not about having some sexual orientation rather than just looking for something more important

I'm not really into labels but feeling that other people have sth in common makes me a bit comfortable.

any ideas? sorry for bad english btw

https://redd.it/1pjexdf
@asexualityonreddit

I need help

Hi, I need help, advice. I'm really confused and I have no one to talk to about this.

Warning: I'll be mentioning sexual things. I know some people might find this offensive, and English isn't my first language; I'm still learning.

Okay, I've always thought I was demisexual, since I was sure that if I could have sex with an emotional connection, I'd feel pleasure alone, when no one else was involved. But I thought that if I liked the person, I'd feel something.

What happened yesterday is that I'm in love with a guy, best friends for five years, and we were a couple for a while. I thought I only felt nothing when we kissed. Everyone says it feels great, and I don't mind doing it, but I don't feel anything. He touched several erogenous zones, nothing. My genitals, I didn't feel anything. The only thing that happens is that I get wet, but nothing else.

I like to dominate, BDSM, but I don't like to participate or be touched. Do I still fall on the asexual spectrum? Or is there something wrong with my body? Because my sense of touch is fine, and I can touch myself, I can even imagine it and I like it, and I feel like the asexual label doesn't quite fit me. Help, please.

https://redd.it/1pjj7zc
@asexualityonreddit

Garlic bread!?

What if I am asexual and sorry but really really hate garlic bread? 🤕🤕

https://redd.it/1pjbdao
@asexualityonreddit

What would your drag or burlesque name be?

Thought this might be a bit of fun!

My partner asked me what my burlesque name would be as someone who is asexual.

I'd love to see the ideas this community comes up with.


https://redd.it/1pjg6f8
@asexualityonreddit

Do you want to touch people?

When there’s someone who I find attractive, I do get the urge to touch and kiss them, but not do anything sexual with them (like involving genitals). And the thought of touching and kissing them makes me aroused, but not the thought of doing anything sexual. I’ve just never wanted to do anything sexual with anyone. Would this be asexual or some sort of graysexual?

https://redd.it/1pjdru0
@asexualityonreddit

Wait, so what is sexual attraction?

I just learned what asexuality is, and I might be ace, I’m not sure.

But my question is: do people actually look at another person and just… want to have sex with them? People just go: “Aw, man, that dude’s so hot, I wanna get in bed with them.” That actually happens?

Sorry if the way I phrased it was weird, it’s just something I’ve never actually considered to be a thing, I don’t know.

https://redd.it/1pjjjgw
@asexualityonreddit

Can you be asexual if you experience sexual attraction to people?

Basically just the title. If someone has sexual attraction to individual people, like you can look at someone and think "oh they're hot" but you have a repulsion to sexual activity, is that still asexual? In my specific case the sex aversion most likely comes from some negative experiences (not trying to do one of those cringe reddit vent posts, just clarifying information) and I was wondering if that actually counts?

https://redd.it/1pjs2ki
@asexualityonreddit

My official coming out as both asexual and aromantic.

I (29M) posted about this months before but took it down as I was a little unsure and was debating whether or not to talk about this, because I'm a fairly private person and don't usually like to talk about myself all that much.

I've been questioning this ever since I was 13 or 14. And up until just a few years ago, I finally found the words that describe me to a T. They basically described what I have felt ever since middle school.

I never understood why people were so obsessed with relationships, romance, and sex since I never felt anything regarding it. I never understood why people were so eager to get into relationships and have always thought

"Why are people so obsessed with sex and relationships?".

I was always that one kid that didn't have any desire to get with someone, and didn't see the need, because I felt whole by myself.

Over the years I have been asked if I have a girlfriend and my answer has always been the equivalent of:

"No and I don't see the need for one".

I don't actively seek out anyone

I would get confused looks from people all the time and I would just chuckle to myself knowing that I was expecting them to react that way.

I don't experience any form of sexual attraction towards anybody nor do I experience any romantic attraction towards anybody, but I do fantasize a LOT when it comes to sex and regularly masturbate.

I can appreciate the aesthetics and looks of someone but it doesn't go any further than that as I don't see the need for being intimate with anyone, since I think its gross in action.

I'm very uncomfortable with being touched in general and don't like the sensation.

This is why I'm coming out as asexual and aromantic (Aro/Ace). I've also discovered the term aegosexual, which also describes me regarding the idea of sex and fantasizing about it

I'm perfectly happy being by myself and a lot of people find it hard to say that because deep down they seek companionship and are lonely.

For me personally,

I don't experience loneliness the way others do as I've never longed to be with anybody, nor do I wish to get married or have kids. I've never wanted it to begin with. I never really saw myself following society's expectations around that and completely rejected it all together.

I would be perfectly happy living alone, with a cat or dog and that would be more than enough for me. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke, as I don't find them appealing and they smell horrible. The only thing that would come remotely close is something like alcohol removed wine or something like that.

https://redd.it/1pjszr9
@asexualityonreddit