Why do people want romantic relationships?

So I’m sure I’m asexual but I don’t know what I want romantically, if anything. Can I ask you all who aren’t aromantic, what do you get from romantic relationships?

Why do you desire to have a romantic partner?

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@asexualityonreddit

Like what are you trying to do here?
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@asexualityonreddit

New PhD dissertation on experiences of asexual people of color
https://keep.lib.asu.edu/items/194696

https://redd.it/1eyx4e1
@asexualityonreddit

aesthetic attraction to boobs…??

hopefully i dont get downvoted for this. ive been toying with the idea that im asexual (an oriented asexual maybe? and sex-neutral? not sure). but like. im kinda infatuated with boobs. i dont really care to touch them in particular (i mean i like poking mine for sensory reasons, theyre soft and warm, but im probably chopping them off sometime 🏳️‍⚧️). on just about anyone, i love hairy pecs on guys, but i find womens + fem boobs particularly aesthetically pleasing? like i like the way fat sometimes pools in the armpits and the way it squeezes over bras. i think they look especially nice in lingere, like a toaster cozy or something. i dont know if thats weird. but like- i think about it, and i wonder if its a sexual thing. im not really sure if it is? ive never had a crush on a girl, the only time ive been attracted to anyone enough to have sex with them we were suuuper close. even then i felt sort of pressured/anxious at times, and i dont think the nature of it was romantic. so maybe itd become a sexual thing if i was close enough to a girl but idrk. like i said though its guy pecs too. hairy ones, muscular ones, fat ones, whatever. pretty much any kind of boob. but its mostly women. its very confusing. its not like, hummina hummina i need to suck some tiddies awooooga!!!! its just an urge to draw them or trace the shape of them with my eyes? which is perverted and rest assured i dont do that ever irl. but ive been trying to figure myself out and the idea that im aroace seems more and more likely, but then women walk in and im like ???? uhhhh. hm.

idk. help

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@asexualityonreddit

Has anyone had some flirt with them, and had no idea

Just curious, I've had this happen at work a few times when my coworker is tell me and I always get so confused.


https://redd.it/1ez0eje
@asexualityonreddit

being asexual is like not smoking weed

just as not everyone likes weed, not everyone enjoys sex. sex is almost like a drug and for some reason i don’t like it. they pressured me to try it and it made me uncomfortable.

https://redd.it/1ez4676
@asexualityonreddit

coming out in the context of others talking about lgbtqa+

I always try to suppress my need to come out as asexual to random people but as soon as someone talks about lgbtqa+ I feel the urge to be a part of the conversation so I end up coming out as an asexual and this is awkward as hell , most people don't even know how to comprehend this and some of them even mistaken asexuality to bisexuality because that's one of their only "default" terms they know so they make a "whatever" face . I really try to hold myself not to come out but I get too enthusiastic

https://redd.it/1ez5gyo
@asexualityonreddit

Am i asexual?..

I honestly don’t know if I’m asexual. I do not get sexual urges anymore . Last time I did was back in 2018 that’s when it stoped. I think I might have pof or just my pcos but would I still be considered asexual or is this just a disorder I’m not sure if that’s what to call it. Also I’m 25 if that even matters.

https://redd.it/1ez8iq8
@asexualityonreddit

I'm ace and my friend's aro. We decided to have matching status
https://redd.it/1ez8vjg
@asexualityonreddit

Made bracelets at youth! I’m biromantic for some context.
https://redd.it/1ezano9
@asexualityonreddit

Am I ace? I don’t want to be.

My therapist told me to look into this, so here I am I guess.

I’ve had like… 1 partner my whole life. I’m 22F.

He’s not exactly my type physically, but I still feel an emotional connection to him. With him, I firmly dislike all aspects of the act of sex, even if I like thinking about them. Penetration, fingers, toys, and oral. I dislike it all. He also has a high drive, like 2-4 times a week, which seems excessive to me and a chore to keep up with.

We’re apart now, and I keep feeling so relieved I don’t have to perform sex when I don’t feel it just to make him happy.

It’s hard for me to describe my sexual attraction. I’m into androgynous and feminine men, and most women, though I can’t imagine myself having sex with a woman. I do want to have sex with the people I’m attracted to, but I also know that when I do, I will likely be disappointed in the way it feels. The phrase I said to my therapist which made him call me ace was “I have never seen a person and thought that I would like to bang them every day.”

I’m also lonely. I have few friends where I live now, so maybe this is all just loneliness.

I don’t want to be ace. I want to have loving, close, and intimate relationships with people. I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to have to put up with discomfort and/or disappointment just to keep people attracted to and interested in me. I feel pathetic.

https://redd.it/1ezcqbn
@asexualityonreddit

This happened to me yesterday, 12:30 brain wasn’t very helpful.
https://redd.it/1ezc6ss
@asexualityonreddit

I tried one of those sexuality tests. It just confirmed what i l thought
https://redd.it/1eze765
@asexualityonreddit

What the fuck
https://redd.it/1ezfeit
@asexualityonreddit

Never again
https://redd.it/1ezhibc
@asexualityonreddit

Oh baby... never mind.
https://redd.it/1ezk89z
@asexualityonreddit

I swear this video is so ace coded (credit to Matt Storer)

https://redd.it/1ezlnn3
@asexualityonreddit

Just my luck!
https://redd.it/1ezrhhh
@asexualityonreddit

Oh boy, can't wait to come out to family (not) Credits to RJ Cardenas
https://redd.it/1ezrspe
@asexualityonreddit

So sick of acephobia being dressed up as sex positivity

I've (24 FTM) come a hell of a long way in my journey to finding out the intricacies of my aceness. (Frey/Grey ace)

I went from an ace who would comply with sex for others' pleasure, to an ace who tried not to comply but would try to explain why, to an ace who won't comply and won't give an explanation if asked.

That middle phase though... It's crazy because so many "progressive" people would be hear that I'm ace and MAKE IT ABOUT SEX POSITIVITY.

TW- I'm quoting some ace-phobic statements

>!"Oh, but I could make it fun for you! I care about *your* pleasure!" - Good! Then STOP WHEN I SAY I'M DONE AND STOP EXPECTING MORE. "But I want you to finish!" FUCK OFF! That's so disgusting to tell someone "Fuck your consent, I need you to orgasm for MY ego!" and this happens. So. Often... and it's usually in queer spaces. And the shittiest part is every partner I had like this would make it about their will to please me and would NOT stop trying until I gave in out of guilt/shame. These partners always loop around and make their forcefulness about sex positivity. !<

Sex positivity means you care about what your partner(s) want/like, this INCLUDES aversion to sex. So many people miss that. I've learned that it doesn't make a difference how much you try to explain to people - now its just "NO because I said NO. End of story. We're NOT continuing intercourse for the rest of the night. Let's get a snack and play animal grossing" and if they get offended, so be it. IDK what else to do.

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@asexualityonreddit