She's definetly talking to an ace 😂
https://redd.it/1ew0ga1
@asexualityonreddit

Is this real???
https://redd.it/1ew2b7l
@asexualityonreddit

ace or bad experience

recently i’ve been pretty comfortable with the label of being ace. However i’m wondering if it’s possible it’s down to not great sexual experiences.

i’ve only ever had sex with one person a few times. it was fine, i didn’t really feel any pleasure at any point other than making out. it was something i more so did for him. before these experiences i didn’t have a negative/avoidant attitude towards sex whereas now i don’t like the idea of it it and it makes me want to avoid it happening. At the start i liked the idea/act of touching and kiss him but now not so much



https://redd.it/1ew7mcm
@asexualityonreddit

Unsure if I'll be welcome in the asexual community

(FTM 29) I realized early into reading Ace that I am not aceflux but asexual. I am sad leaving the bisexual community, but have decided to use biromantic instead of triromantic. I thought bisexuality fit me really well (along with aceflux) but upon reflection and hearing what sexual attraction looks like, I realized asexuality fits better. The one ace group I joined (college) kicked me out. I am worried because I have a sexually active background or other reasons I won't be accepted if I try to join another group.

Other concerns: my girlfriend said she "didn't get it" ig because I get horny. I tried to participate in causual sexual relationships but it didn't work well. I'm sad I don't get to "enjoy" that aspect of mlm culture. I only get aroused by images of monster girls (2d), and I think there is a sub identity that would fit that. But I don't want to have another identity I always have to explain.

Happy: my "likes blank better than sx" is robots! I am glad I figured this out before I got to go to a sx party, which I now think I wanted to do because I was jealous my gf had done it and I haven't. I think it would have ended very badly and with me being sex repulsed a long time. I am glad I don't have to worry about potentially becoming sexually attracted to someone I just met (I thought this happened to me once, but I think it was more a 'love at first sight' weird situation). Because it seems like more of a pain than anything. This is a lot easier to explain than being aceflux.

Thoughts on whether I should try to join a local ace community or just participate online are greatly appreciated.

Summary: both happy and sad I figured out ace and not aceflux. Worried won't be accepted in ace community and thoughts on this are welcome.

https://redd.it/1ewbimz
@asexualityonreddit

Some things realized

I am a lesbian.

I don't care for sex and sexual, kids and pets. No thanks on that.

I do want kissing, cuddling; non sexual stuff and all else life.

Maybe one day I'll find find someone of the same; a woman of the same and they don't care what each part of me consists of as long as I'm doing as should when, where and how can because they understand not all is a choice; a your fault and you can't do everything.

But who am I kidding. I'll never find a woman the same as me who doesn't care what each part of me consists of as long as I'm doing as should when, where and how can because they understand not all is a choice; a your fault and you can't do everything.

Have any of you been similar ?

...and to those of you similar... Why do think kissing is so wonderful ?



Edit: It has also come to my attention elsewhere that I can’t even remember that apparently being Ace in any way is going against transgender folk and that you should be having sex every day worn your partner or it isn’t a real relationship if you are in one; which I think is complete bull pucky. How are you transphobic for being sexless; but willing to kiss, cuddle, non sexual stuff and all else life?

https://redd.it/1ewamfp
@asexualityonreddit

Literally a decade going “am I ace? Am I demi? am I even in the spectrum at all?”
https://redd.it/1ewd6vu
@asexualityonreddit

Sex favorable ace-spec bingo!
https://redd.it/1ewfn7h
@asexualityonreddit

How tf am I supposed to answer this question on Spanish hw without making everyone uncomfortable in the process. Yes it doesn't seem bad at first but keep in mind this is in a room full of 15-16 year olds with dirty fucking minds
https://redd.it/1ewgg3j
@asexualityonreddit

A+ response
https://redd.it/1ewh48g
@asexualityonreddit

What do you think about my current pfp?
https://redd.it/1ewhiw6
@asexualityonreddit

Where else would a drink go?
https://redd.it/1ewjsyh
@asexualityonreddit

It’s so frustrating. We as a society could agree that homophobia is bad. But aphobia is still the norm. Why?

It’s so frustrating to still have to deal with it on a daily basis. On another app I was downvoted to hell for reporting a guy that said to an asexual girl that her „perceived“ asexuality is just a blockade stemming from her childhood trauma. I reported it as discrimination which of course wasn’t blocked and while complaining about it one guy called me snowflake and that it was just an opinion and I should get over it while being downvoted to hell. Not a single person stepped up, everyone was against me and this girl was also alone. The worst thing, the guy that called me snowflake and downplayed it as opinion said that he’s gay. We don’t even have the back of other non allos. It’s so sickening and frustrating that everyone can just freely be aphobic and no one will held them accountable.

https://redd.it/1ewqlod
@asexualityonreddit

Prescription: Sex

Hey guys

I'm in the process of getting tested for endometriosis, and the best scan is a deep infiltrating one. I called up to make an appointment and they said they don't do it for people who are still virgins. I vary between sex repulsed and indifferent. I don't know what to do because I don't want to have sex, and I don't have a partner anyway, but my periods are really bad. There's only the one chain of places that do the scan I need, and they won't do it.

Any ideas?

https://redd.it/1ewmu7c
@asexualityonreddit

it's a kind of magic 🎵
https://redd.it/1ewqkcp
@asexualityonreddit

Do you ever get paranoid you’re not really ace and you’re lying to yourself?

I have mental illness and get paranoia about a lot of things. I get paranoid that I want to m*ruder people for fun even though I don’t. Intrusive thoughts that I try to block out. I get paranoid that I don’t really love my mom even tho she’s my everything. One of the paranoias is that I’m not being my genuine self. That I’m faking so much and lying to everyone. Even tho im not. Have any of you experienced this?

https://redd.it/1ewoe3i
@asexualityonreddit

Are you a top or a bottom?
https://redd.it/1ewuqio
@asexualityonreddit

I'm a 28 yo virgin and, despite not wanting sex, I feel ashamed for not having it. Have others felt the same/overcome this?

Im 28f and have never had sex. Up until about a year ago, it never actually occured to me to care about that. I wasn't bothered and didnt care to pursue sex as I wasn't interested and honestly am kind of averse/repulsed (not sure which term fits me better) by the idea of having sex. It wasn't until I started thinking about dating that I realized how uncommon being a virgin at my age was. I fell down an internet wormhole, reading posts about how being a virgin in late twenties is a red flag and not worth dating. Im not really sure I even want romance. All I want is to not be alone and being in a couple seems like the most reliable way to do that. I was in a dark place for a bit and my therapist has been a great help. She has suggested that I should focus on accepting my asexuality rather than trying to change it. I've been reading and watching videos about others asexual experiences and have met other ace people in my town. I still feel like an outsider tho. The ace friends I've made have all had sex and romantic relationships. Even if they are completely unattached and abstinent now, I can't get over how they had similar hang ups to me but we're still able e to make sex and dating work for a time. Anytime I came close to dating or having sex I bailed so fast. Everything in my body was telling me to run. I wish I didn't feel so ashamed of not pursuing something I don't even want but I do. I wish i could stand face to face with another person like me.

https://redd.it/1ewszq3
@asexualityonreddit

Thyroid's issues fixed, still aroace

On may I had surgery and my thyroid was removed. Long story short, it turn out I had a never diagnosed chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, and that was probably the reason of a lot of health issues I had during my life. The surgeon told me that in a couple of months my health was going to improve and added: "I bet you'll be no more asexual by then."
Four months later, I'm still aroace with no libido.
Of course I'm taking my meds, and get checked every month. My blood tests show a perfect ormonal balance, my vitamin D levels are in range, I've lost weight, so my health issues are all fixed.
I bet the surgeon will be disappointed at our next appointment.

https://redd.it/1eww5d6
@asexualityonreddit

never thought I was ace till I had sex

I (24f) started having sex with my boyfriend (28m) last year, I lost my virginity with him. Ever since I was little and discovered sex I never was repulsed by it. I think I had a higher libido then (still low by standars) than now . I always thought of sex as something I wanted to had with someone I loved, I never searched for it though. Thought that eventually I'd met someone and it would be magical, like in the movies. It took 6 months of dating to lose my virginity with my boyfriend, and after it was done I thought: That was it?? Ever since I had lots of conversations with him about our poor frequency of intimacy. Our last fight was the worst, that's when I started researching asexuality and felt identified by a lot of things regarding sex. For example: him always starting it and me avoiding it.
I thought maybe I didn't like him that way, but after thinking it a lot, I realized that I really didn't care about having sex (it's more trouble that it's worth), which is funny since I am aegosexual and read a lot of smutty stuff. But sometimes I doubt myself, what if I idealize sex too much and thats why I don't enjoy it?
Since I told him I might be ace, he's been hopeful (because he doesn't want to end the relationship before trying to work it out) but also he's been struggling. I think he's sad that I am not sexually attracted to him, and I don't know how to handle it...

https://redd.it/1ewx1rh
@asexualityonreddit

Out of curiosity, how many people discovered they were ace through Reddit?

I am currently working on my MA dissertation, looking at the interplay between Reddit and ace identity and am wondering: How many of you realized you were ace because of this or other ace subreddits?

I did. I had come across AVEN years before, but the info there didn't really resonate with me at the time, I feel like maybe because of how it was phrased. The descriptions of the ace experience felt kind of sterile to me (no shade, just my personal impression). Not knowing anything about asexuality then, I conflated sexual attraction with attraction as a whole, and I thought "Well, I can acknowledge if someone is attractive", so quickly discarded the idea that I might be ace without bothering to look much deeper.
It was only years later on Reddit that I saw some more varied personal descriptions of how people experienced their aceness that I realized that asexuality can take on lots of different forms and that I related to many of those stories.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Or maybe an opposite one? :)


https://redd.it/1ex06i5
@asexualityonreddit