Apparently we're unstoppable?
https://redd.it/1emjjjo
@asexualityonreddit

Where are all the ace men?

I‘m (f32) casually swiping through bumble from time to time (I am craving a romantic connection) and there don’t seem to be ANY men interested in someone who is on the asexual spectrum.

It’s the first time in decades that I decided to openly state that I am „grey-ace“.

I wouldn’t have to write that in my profile as I am a kind of sex-favorable demi person, so my relationships might work pretty „normal“/allo (from the outside).

But I’m recently very proud about my asexual identity and I want to scare away all the hypersexual men, so I decided to give it a go and write it in my bio.

I’ve never had any problems to get dates before. Currently no one seems to be interested. I get matches but many men delete them (I guess after reading my profile text properly).

I’m honest with you - I‘d expected more men to be - maybe secretly - ace and happy to meet someone who’s on the spectrum too. I see tons of men who are looking for casual sex and seem to prioritize sex on top. But can it be real that there are no ace men at all? Especially physically attractive men?

It really confuses me, like how is sex so important for seemingly every goddamn man? Where are the ace people?

Idk what to do, I don’t really want to hide my sexuality but I guess people just don’t know how different asexuality can be and that it doesn’t have to mean no sex…

How do you handle dating apps?

https://redd.it/1emhehs
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**

​

Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.

​

**Do any of these resonate with you?**

​

​

* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.

​

These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.

​

**Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?** Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

​

[**More signs that you are Aro:**\](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro/)

​

[**Honeymoon Phase:**\](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

​

[**Types of attraction (might be incomplete):**\](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/

https://redd.it/1emn8yx
@asexualityonreddit

Why is everything sexualised

Was talking to people about tattoos but apparently tattoos are sexual so I can't??

Same with anatomy, clothes, hair, makeup can't discuss shit with people without them saying it's sexual and I'm not allowed to talk about it.

It's so fucking annoying omg

https://redd.it/1emo20q
@asexualityonreddit

When you don't know, you don't know
https://redd.it/1emkb3t
@asexualityonreddit

New employer lists 'asexual' option

I've just started work for a big UK company. Their very first option on the 'sexual orientation' part of the application was 'asexual.' I'm not allowed to name them for security reasons but this is very positive. I wonder how many other guys ticked asexual?

https://redd.it/1emkkwx
@asexualityonreddit

A conversation that I had with my brother after not talking to him for a while

https://redd.it/1emrob0
@asexualityonreddit

Is there a particular reason that you're asexual?

I've been asked many times before why I'm asexual, and every single time I just told them I had no interest in sexuality and if I loved someone, I'd only care about what's in their heart rather than their pants. I told them it all just seems a bit unrational and shallow to me. I gave them every logical explanation I could think of, but just today someone asked me if I had an issue, if I was ever been r worded or had a similar traumatic experience that caused me to turn asexual. I said no and that I don't need to be r worded to know what I want or, in this case, don't want, and it has absolutely nothing to do with me being asexual. That's just who I am and told her she could call me a coward if she likes because it's true that I feel uncomfortable, suffocated and even afraid when someone touches me intimately, but said that there is nothing wrong with me and I do not have an "issue". But it got me thinking whether there's really something wrong with me that may have caused me to turn out this way, or that's how other asexuals feel too?

https://redd.it/1emp10a
@asexualityonreddit

would
https://redd.it/1emw2x9
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual writers (group)?

Are there any ace / ace-leaning writers looking for a work accountability group (ie: Discord meet ups)? Or perhaps such a group already exists? I'm looking for active writer friends to talk and review work with. My writing tends to reflect my asexuality but I am fine meeting the smut-friendly aces too!

https://redd.it/1emvdxy
@asexualityonreddit

Am I asexual

I’m a 27F married to a 30M. We’ve only been married 4 months; in a relationship for about a year before that. I’ve never been a sexual person in regard to wanting sex. It’s more something I do to appease my husband, but I can’t say that I’ve ever had the desire. It’s the same thing with hugs and kisses. Hand holding is fine.
My partner is the opposite in that they are very sexual and enjoy random kisses and stuff like that . I always thought I didn’t want to cz I dislike pda, but I’m realizing I genuinely have an aversion to it.
I’m ok with never having sex honestly but the thing is I do want kids. (I’m confused about this as well)

I have been attracted to people before, but I can’t recall it ever being in a sexual way.
I never look at my partner and feel a desire to do anything remotely sexual with them, I’m not sure I ever did and it truly makes me feel so much guilt.

I also think this might all be because I was raised super conservative and in a religious environment and I’m still really close with my faith.

I guess I’m just lost. I feel so bad because I think i’m possibly realizing this so late 🥺


Thanks and sorry for reading my rambling

https://redd.it/1emyqa3
@asexualityonreddit

I'm looking for a friend for my wife.

Delete if not allowed. I'm married to an asexual woman. We recently found out a couple of months ago and I'm working to be a part of this new reality.

However, she sticks to herself a lot. We've tried searching for friends locally, but haven't had much luck. Are there any suggestions on how to locate asexual people? I know it sounds weird, but we want her to have someone to can relate to about this asexuality. Male or female, we don't care. We've tried a few apps and the people that have messaged me are not asexual and tend to turn the conversation that way. Thanks!

She does want to get out, but she is shy and doesnt have confidence meeting new people.

https://redd.it/1emop5o
@asexualityonreddit

Allos that prey on underage people

So for whatever reason the Labyrinth is making it around my TikTok algorithm. I saw some comments of people gushing over how polite and respectful David Bowie was to Jennifer Connell because she was only 14 at filming. Apparently he was very cognizant of where he placed his hands during the dance scene and kept distance between them. Anyway, I’d recently also looked up what sexual attraction feels like. I just never understand it. But it’s described as like this magnetic attraction you have to someone when you see their body or emotionally connect or whatever. It made me start thinking about how common it is for minors to be sexualized. Like I’ve talked to allo male friends before who’ve said even if they objectively find someone sexually attractive if they find out they’re underage they shut it down. But it’s obviously still there. It seems to be so common even if it’s not acknowledged. Some men and women don’t care and are open predators. It was so bad in songs from the 60s to 80s. Into the Night by Benny Mardonnes starts off with “She’s just 16 years old…” apparently he wrote the song about the daughter of his landlady or something who would come to the basement for laundry whilte they were song planning. The other guys were bothering her so he stepped in and wrote the song. I could be misremembering but it was something like that. Cool. Then the song proceeds to be really fucking creepy towards the 16 year old. I think “Caroline” in Seet Caroline was also a 14 year old from his real life. Idk it’s really giving me the ick. It feels like nothing is sacred. I look back on my life as a kid and adolescent and just feel ick. All those times I thought people were just being friendly or platonic but they were probably wanting to bang me.

Edit: found the part from an interview about Into the Noght: “So one night Robert Tepper and I were up writing songs... And in she walks, 16 years old, dressed for school in a miniskirt, little stacked heels, adorable, 16-going-on-21. She said, ‘You’ve been up all night?’ and of course it was obvious. I said, ‘Yeah, we have.’ She says, ‘Okay, come on, Zanky,’ and she walks the dog out. When she leaves and goes out the door, my partner goes, ‘Oh, my God.’ I said, ‘Hey, Bob. She’s just 16 years old, leave her alone.’ And literally five minutes later I said, ‘Play that lick again, Bobby.’ So he played the lick and I went (singing), ‘she’s just 16 years old, leave her alone, they say.’ Then I thought about her dad and what he had done, and that’s where I got ‘Separated by fools who don’t know what love is yet.’ The chorus was, ‘you’re too young for me, but if I could fly, I’d pick you up and take you into the night and show you love like you’ve never seen.’ Then the verse ‘It’s like having it all and letting it show. It’s like having a dream where nobody has a heart. It’s like having it all and watching it fall apart.’ Because his success was not the family’s success; it was just his. ‘I can’t measure my love there’s nothing compared to it’ - it was all about the abandonment of this family and this 16-year-old girl.”

https://redd.it/1emwkh7
@asexualityonreddit

The struggle

I just need to rent and I don’t have anyone in my life who I think completely understands because none of my friends or family are asexual. I’m sure plenty of you understand who have to seek a OB/GYN no exactly what I’m going to say and I know that I’m gonna have to deal with it for the rest of my life, but it’s so annoying that every time it’s the same questions and I get the same. Looks when I stay I’ve never had sex and I never have a desire to have sex. I am 27 years old going on 28 and since we live in a society where you know People expect you to do that I guess I always get looked at like I’m lying when I’m not I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone does that I don’t want a relationship know for me personally I do hope I have a relationship down the line, but if it doesn’t happen, oh well, I guess because it’s hard to find someone who’s OK with not having a sexual component in a relationship. Anyways, my biggest problem is they want to do a Pap smear because I’ve never done one and if you know what that is, you know that it’s painful even if you’ve had sex or even if you’ve even birth the child it’s still painful. I have expressed to them multiple times that they want to get it done. They’re gonna have to put me under anesthesia and that’s the truth because I had an IUD at one point and they had to put me under anesthesia to put it in because that’s how uncomfortable and painful it is for me, I got the IUD due to severe menstrual cycle pains.

Well, I go back to an OB/GYN in two weeks I have not been to one in over 2 years and I’m not looking forward to it. I always push them aside even though I know that it’s just as important but I view them as I do the dentist and it’s the worst. I’d actually rather go to the dentist because it’s the same questions it’s the same looks and it’s the same story every time and it’s so annoying and as someone who has chronic Issues it’s important for me to go to every doctor because I am immunocompromise. I don’t have a spleen and I have chronic liver rejection so it’s important for me to keep up on things in general but it’s just annoying.

https://redd.it/1en627q
@asexualityonreddit

My art got called "creepy"

I'm completly sex repulsed asexual doesn't like to think of myself or even other people in, who gets uncomfortable even at the thought that someone else might be intrested in my sexually

Because of that whenever I am making art with full nudity or some kind of expilit scene I often add even extreme gore or worring implications

It is kinda my own way of saying "fuck you too" as in "I was uncomfortable making this, so you will be uncomfortable watching it"

I'm not even showing it around or posting it online, but my friend recently saw it and called it creepy and that I shouldn't view sex or other people in that way (they don't mind gore for gore sake, but apparently mixing it up with sexual scenes make it wrong and yes I know there are kinks like that)

I explained to them my "fuck you too" policy and thought they may find it funny as they're gay and often talk about heteronormativity that way, but they didn't really get it.

Actually I already noticed couple times how he "doesn't get" asexuality, nor really trying, so maybe I don't have art problem, but a friend one



https://redd.it/1en4set
@asexualityonreddit

My boyfriend just told me he is asexual

So my boyfriend of 5 months just told me he thinks he’s asexual. The problem is that I’m very sexual, we haven’t had sex yet, but I really want to, but it seems like he doesn’t want to and when we get into a more serious relationship we might only have sex every other month or every 3 months. That’s something I don’t want to deal with tbh. I really care about him. He also told me I could go have sex with other guys but I shouldn’t be talking too much about it in front of him. And I definitely shouldn’t date other guys.

Sex is a very important part of a relationship to me and I don’t really know how to take this so I’m coming on here and asking for advice.

https://redd.it/1en0r0a
@asexualityonreddit

We are gods
https://redd.it/1enbavn
@asexualityonreddit