Asexuality on Jeopardy
Asexuality was mentioned on today’s Jeopardy episode. I know it’s a tiny thing, but it made me smile a little since we tend to be forgotten a lot of the time.
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Asexuality was mentioned on today’s Jeopardy episode. I know it’s a tiny thing, but it made me smile a little since we tend to be forgotten a lot of the time.
https://redd.it/1el3aqz
@asexualityonreddit
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not really a rant i just needed to yap
ok so im gonna be yapping about a few things in this post so buckle up.
first, ill start with how i found out about the asexual community. i dont remember how it started exactly, but i do remember that it started on pinterest. it was pride month, so of course there were some stuffs in my feed. i fell down this rabbit hole on asexuality, and i remember by the end of it i was really thinking like, ”huh. have i felt sexual attraction? i think about sex a weird amount for a teen, so i dont think so. but to think about me having sex? thats kinda weird. maybe im on the spectrum somewhere…” and so I’ve done a lot of soul searching since then.
now, how i would describe my sexual orientation, im not sure. aegosexuality speaks to me, because i do fantasize about mainly romantic and sometimes sexual scenarios, but the thing is i can out myself into those scenarios. another thing though, is that i only make these scenarios with the fictional characters im currently crushing on. for example, i was crushing on bakugo from mha once and i sometimes made up slightly sexual scenarios including myself and him, but now ive moved onto dabi, and no longer find sexual scenarios w bakugo nice to think about. actually, i see now that i can only have one fictional crush at a time, and once i leave one behind i wonder why i even slightly enjoyed thinking about sexual things with them in it. thinking about doing sexual acts with anyone besides my current fictional crush, is gross to me.
its hard to explain, but its like aego/demisexuality? because i form a made up bond with the fictional crush in my head, and the bond isnt there with others, so i only enjoy doing romantic and sexual things with the current crush? if that makes any sense? sorry if it doesnt, but moving on to another topic.
trigger warning? aphobia is something that seems to be pretty prevalent, and im a little worried honestly. personally i dont really want to come out to my parents, but i kinda do at the same time. the only thing keeping me from doing it is the fact that aphobia is a much more apparent thing to me now than before. people call asexuality “not real” or say things like “you havent met the right person yet” and “youre just scared of sex” and its genuinely so irritating. like why so much ace hate? gay hate is a thing, but people dont normalize it anymore. aphobia just seems so normalized, and it honestly makes no sense to me. like, if gays and lesbians and bis can exist, why cant aces? i feel like id be shoved off as “just a hormonal teen girl” or yet another who “hopped on the trending queer train”. my feelings are real, and infantilizing them is a crime against my humanity.
for all the aphobes out there, suck my spiritual balls and just know that you sound really dumb hating on aces, because it makes you sound either like your most important quality is how you have had sex, or just a whiny virgin.
and to all the aces out there thanks for reading and sorry for the grammar i wrote this on my ipad! have a great day and go eat some cake!
https://redd.it/1el5i51
@asexualityonreddit
ok so im gonna be yapping about a few things in this post so buckle up.
first, ill start with how i found out about the asexual community. i dont remember how it started exactly, but i do remember that it started on pinterest. it was pride month, so of course there were some stuffs in my feed. i fell down this rabbit hole on asexuality, and i remember by the end of it i was really thinking like, ”huh. have i felt sexual attraction? i think about sex a weird amount for a teen, so i dont think so. but to think about me having sex? thats kinda weird. maybe im on the spectrum somewhere…” and so I’ve done a lot of soul searching since then.
now, how i would describe my sexual orientation, im not sure. aegosexuality speaks to me, because i do fantasize about mainly romantic and sometimes sexual scenarios, but the thing is i can out myself into those scenarios. another thing though, is that i only make these scenarios with the fictional characters im currently crushing on. for example, i was crushing on bakugo from mha once and i sometimes made up slightly sexual scenarios including myself and him, but now ive moved onto dabi, and no longer find sexual scenarios w bakugo nice to think about. actually, i see now that i can only have one fictional crush at a time, and once i leave one behind i wonder why i even slightly enjoyed thinking about sexual things with them in it. thinking about doing sexual acts with anyone besides my current fictional crush, is gross to me.
its hard to explain, but its like aego/demisexuality? because i form a made up bond with the fictional crush in my head, and the bond isnt there with others, so i only enjoy doing romantic and sexual things with the current crush? if that makes any sense? sorry if it doesnt, but moving on to another topic.
trigger warning? aphobia is something that seems to be pretty prevalent, and im a little worried honestly. personally i dont really want to come out to my parents, but i kinda do at the same time. the only thing keeping me from doing it is the fact that aphobia is a much more apparent thing to me now than before. people call asexuality “not real” or say things like “you havent met the right person yet” and “youre just scared of sex” and its genuinely so irritating. like why so much ace hate? gay hate is a thing, but people dont normalize it anymore. aphobia just seems so normalized, and it honestly makes no sense to me. like, if gays and lesbians and bis can exist, why cant aces? i feel like id be shoved off as “just a hormonal teen girl” or yet another who “hopped on the trending queer train”. my feelings are real, and infantilizing them is a crime against my humanity.
for all the aphobes out there, suck my spiritual balls and just know that you sound really dumb hating on aces, because it makes you sound either like your most important quality is how you have had sex, or just a whiny virgin.
and to all the aces out there thanks for reading and sorry for the grammar i wrote this on my ipad! have a great day and go eat some cake!
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When did you realize you were Ace?
I think for me the turning point was my last relationship: who used sex to manipulate me, and since me at the point was totally dependent upon him was basically forced into having sex with him to get my basic needs met, IE food, roof over my head. I think since it’s made me repulsed and resent sex although.
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@asexualityonreddit
I think for me the turning point was my last relationship: who used sex to manipulate me, and since me at the point was totally dependent upon him was basically forced into having sex with him to get my basic needs met, IE food, roof over my head. I think since it’s made me repulsed and resent sex although.
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Asexuality being a sexual orientation
At the risk of being downvoted into oblivion, I wanted to bring up an issue I have with some of the discussion around asexuality, and it could be because of my age (50+) that I’m finding this hard. Sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual …) I believe that your sexual orientation is determined by biology, and how the brain develops in the uterus and after birth. That’s one reason why “conversion therapy “ is such a horrific practice. I was taught that we don’t choose to be gay, bi, etc. People just are, and should be accepted as they are.
Asexuality then, strictly speaking, as a sexual orientation, is no sexual attraction to others (in so far that it is analogous to other sexual orientations). Here is where I have trouble. There are many people talking about being “made” asexual through trauma, being “temporarily “ asexual because sexual orientation can be fluid and ever changing. I just can’t imagine saying to my friend who is gay that his orientation can change and he might wake up one day and be attracted to girls. Or someone telling me that I’ll change my mind later and become attracted to whoever. I can understand questioning your sexual orientation- you assume you are heterosexual but later discover you are bi, pan, etc. But I didn’t choose to be asexual and spend decades believing I was broken. I am not attracted sexually to anyone. I have working parts, a libido, can orgasm, can enjoy having sex, BUT I don’t feel that sexual spark.
I guess the idea that sexual orientation is a sliding spectrum that you can zoom around on on a whim feels very invalidating to me on a personal level. And maybe some people are “trying on” the label and making it mean whatever suits them. I believe that attraction comes in many forms, that how we define ourselves does change over time … but that there are some things that we just ARE. Maybe I feel so uneasy about this because I remember when being gay was seen as a “rebellion” and “attention seeking “ and people were being pressured to conform to heterosexuality, and I get nervous that some of the discussion I’m seeing, which has the goal of being more accepting, seems to skate close to the line of invalidation.
Signed an asexual, heteroromantic, sex-positive older female identifying person.
https://redd.it/1el4lzu
@asexualityonreddit
At the risk of being downvoted into oblivion, I wanted to bring up an issue I have with some of the discussion around asexuality, and it could be because of my age (50+) that I’m finding this hard. Sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual …) I believe that your sexual orientation is determined by biology, and how the brain develops in the uterus and after birth. That’s one reason why “conversion therapy “ is such a horrific practice. I was taught that we don’t choose to be gay, bi, etc. People just are, and should be accepted as they are.
Asexuality then, strictly speaking, as a sexual orientation, is no sexual attraction to others (in so far that it is analogous to other sexual orientations). Here is where I have trouble. There are many people talking about being “made” asexual through trauma, being “temporarily “ asexual because sexual orientation can be fluid and ever changing. I just can’t imagine saying to my friend who is gay that his orientation can change and he might wake up one day and be attracted to girls. Or someone telling me that I’ll change my mind later and become attracted to whoever. I can understand questioning your sexual orientation- you assume you are heterosexual but later discover you are bi, pan, etc. But I didn’t choose to be asexual and spend decades believing I was broken. I am not attracted sexually to anyone. I have working parts, a libido, can orgasm, can enjoy having sex, BUT I don’t feel that sexual spark.
I guess the idea that sexual orientation is a sliding spectrum that you can zoom around on on a whim feels very invalidating to me on a personal level. And maybe some people are “trying on” the label and making it mean whatever suits them. I believe that attraction comes in many forms, that how we define ourselves does change over time … but that there are some things that we just ARE. Maybe I feel so uneasy about this because I remember when being gay was seen as a “rebellion” and “attention seeking “ and people were being pressured to conform to heterosexuality, and I get nervous that some of the discussion I’m seeing, which has the goal of being more accepting, seems to skate close to the line of invalidation.
Signed an asexual, heteroromantic, sex-positive older female identifying person.
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I hate when allos say "Romance without sex is platonic"
People who say this must not actually like their partners or something because it's one of the most idiotic phrases I hear repeated constantly. Have they never watched a Disney movie?
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People who say this must not actually like their partners or something because it's one of the most idiotic phrases I hear repeated constantly. Have they never watched a Disney movie?
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