I hate being asexual

It feels so isolating. I just want to enjoy sex and be normal. My partner (21m) of 2.5 years is allosexual and I know he loves me, I love him, but I can't help but feel as if I know he'd be happier if I liked having sex. Nobody truly understands and sex looks like it could be so much fun. It makes me want to cry. I wish I could just be normal.
I've known I'm asexual for the last 4-5 years.

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@asexualityonreddit

How do I make my Reddit avatar have an asexual heart?



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@asexualityonreddit

Ace flag garlic bread package (minus grey) + kitchen

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@asexualityonreddit

I yearn for love and connection, but dating feels impossible as someone who’d describe themselves as “heteroromantic ace”

I just don’t understand how I should go about dating? I have this deep desire for romance, affection, love and connection with someone, and I feel like I have a lot to give. But I’m not interested in sex; it is honestly somewhat repulsive.

I haven’t been in a relationship, but I have kissed a couple of people; it was just nothing. It felt solely mechanical, pointless really. But I love hugs, and cuddling!

I see a lot of my (hetero) friends and people in general talking about he/she is so hot, or “smash & pass” (which always makes me uncomfortable), but I never truly understood it. I very much appreciate beauty and aesthetics, but just to admire?

I think aesthetic attraction is very important for me, as I think I would need that on top of connecting with their personality to really feel romantic attraction. But it seems difficult to do, like how do you get to know people who you “fancy”, without leading them on, but also not just bluntly and weirdly announcing “I don’t like sex”?

I feel like I’m missing out on something really important and special that I desire, I love watching holiday movies or romcoms (without much sexual energy in them), but I don’t know how to make it work. :/

Anyone here experiencing something similar (whatever version of romance or sexuality you feel or don’t feel)?


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@asexualityonreddit

Do u know asexual boys? Any of them here?

I really want asexual boyfriend in future 🙏🙏 but I read there are really little number of them. Do u know any? I also would like to chat with some :)

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@asexualityonreddit

I think I might be asexual and I'm trying to understand myself better

I recently started questioning whether I might be asexual, and I’d really appreciate some perspectives from people who have gone through something similar.

I’m in high school and recently started hanging out more with the girls in my class. I get along with them really well, and I genuinely enjoy their company. I can recognize that someone is beautiful, but it feels more like appreciating a nice landscape or an aesthetic vibe, not sexual attraction.

A while ago I realized I don’t feel sexual attraction toward anyone in real life. For example, when i have a “crush” it is purely about her personality and style. Thinking about anything sexual with her or with anyone actually feels slightly uncomfortable or even repulsive to me.

Something that confuses me is that my body still reacts physically to nudity or porn (like getting aroused), but it feels very disconnected from actual people. In real situations, the closer I am to someone, the more the idea of sex turns me off. I’m starting to realize that for me, emotional closeness or cuddling feels like the highest form of intimacy, something that means as much to me as sex seems to mean for others.

I’m trying to figure out if this all sounds like asexuality or maybe somewhere on the ace spectrum. I’d love to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences or thoughts.

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Why do people say you're not Asexual just because you haven't met "The One" yet?

I always wonder what goes through the minds of people who think that if by chance they meet someone, magically their sexual attraction will awaken absolutely out of nowhere! People don't know what it's like to not feel attraction and they keep talking nonsense, for me it's completely disrespectful, not to mention acephobia.
But people minimize this, after all it is a large minority, but this is not so far from LGBT, I mean, how does a straight man know he is straight? If he never tried it? After all, he just must not have found the right man. Do you realize how prejudiced that can be?

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@asexualityonreddit

Definitely my experience : r/aaaaaaacccccccce...
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@asexualityonreddit

I don't want a romantic partner or family as much as I want a more permanent Nerdy friend group

I'm so sick of hearing that "Romantic partner = happiness". I'm so sick of that being the defacto requirement otherwise you're a miserable lonely loser. I'm sick of hearing it

"But humans are social animals... Hur-dur"

Alright hypothetical wise guy, you wanna know what kind of relationship I FUCKING want? I want a Nerdy friend group. Specifically one that frequently hangs out, plays games talks about pop culture and maybe even as a cherry on top: we have shenanigans filled DnD sessions.


That's all I've ever wanted. Ever since I was in first grade and got way too much into roleplay and make-believe. I've always wanted that. But of course life happens and people move away, they come and go and suddenly you don't have that anymore. Fine... MAYBE THAT'S WHY MARRIAGE IS A THING?? So you can theoretically bind two people forever for the sole purpose of producing children and raising them and being together and all that bullshit. Fine, but I don't want that. I WANT MY FUCKING NERD GROUP!!! I don't care if I end up living alone. I'm good with that and like I won't say no to a romantic partner if we vibing, but that's like my 5th or 6th priority.


I want a friend group!!! One that hangs out frequently and even if sometimes life gets in the way once or twice we all there the following week.


A more permanent friend group! That's when I'm happiest. I'm not happiest in a romantic relationship, I'm happiest playing games with my friends. My happiest moment is when our local fucking Minecraft server from 12 years ago had like 6 people logged in at the same time all friends or friends of friends and we all just chilled on Skype. (Back when Skype was still a fucking thing)


I honestly wish that marrying a group of people in this kind of platonic tribe was a thing, because I would join the friend group I feel like I Vibe with the most with and never ever leave.




https://redd.it/1ozsoy4
@asexualityonreddit

It was a (not so wet) Tuesday
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@asexualityonreddit

I am not asexual but...
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@asexualityonreddit

I wish i wasnt assexual

I kind of hate it. I see other non asexuals talk about love and experiences and vulnerability which i often feel repulsed by. It makes me feel like i’m a sociopath or something. Sex is normal thing but i physically can’t sit comfortably with the thought of me doing it. I want to be able to love someone romantically too, i just don’t know if i can. Non asexuals seem to base songs, movies, and other forms of art around romantic love. It’s like, their whole purpose. It feels like a piece is missing from my emotional brain functions because i just don’t feel it. I cringe when i hear romantic lyrics. I get uncomfortable when i sense someone likes me. I came out to my parents many times and they told me i haven’t met the right person yet, that my opinion on wanting kids (absolutely 100% NO) might change in a decade. Even when i do like someone, the chances of them not wanting sex either is slim to none. AGGHHRN

https://redd.it/1ozwk1e
@asexualityonreddit

Am I weird to want a relationship with somebody as an asexual woman?

I identify as asexual, and I have never been in a relationship ever since identifying as asexual. I want to have a relationship, preferably with another person who is asexual so that we can have a relationship based on mutual interests, and even have an emotional attachment to each other, and be able to do things such as basic, cuddling, or kissing or hugging, all without the expectation of jumping into bed. Unfortunately, the more asexual people that I chat with, the more I keep getting told that people who are asexual don’t want to be in a relationship. Is it that they really don’t want to be in a relationship and don’t want to date or is it more situational circumstances? Because, I’m curious, if many people who are asexual, don’t want to date or be in a relationship, don’t they get lonely or fear getting older and being alone? How do people deal with the loneliness and not having a partner to share life with? I am still really learning about this this community and this identity so please excuse me if my question comes across as naïve or offensive. I do not mean to offend anybody, I just need answers. Thanks in advance

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@asexualityonreddit

How can I tell I'm ace?

Hi, if this doesn't belong here, let me know. I've been questioning since I've been 13, I'm now 21. The main reason I've been questioning this long is because, I do get horny. It's not much, maybe once or twice a month.

I've noticed as well, that I Don't really have any attraction to others. It's rare, but it does happen. So can I be ace? Any help is appreciated

https://redd.it/1ozy721
@asexualityonreddit

i found The One, but she's allosexual

21f, lesbian, ive had multiple relationships with other women who were all allo, and i was always upfront about my sexuality as an asexual. i would identify as a stone top because that makes me the least-involved in sex as possible. i like pleasing my partner, it doesn't turn me on, but i like it. they knew that, but they didn't know i kinda really dislike sex itself lol.

to me, sex is boring, can get kinda gross and its not how i like to spend my time, but it makes their life better and they feel appreciated and cared for. i have to force myself to start, but it's not so bad once im actually doing it.

i had problems in past relationships because sometimes i couldn't get myself to do it. the bad reaction i'd get for my abstinence made me anxious and upset, so i decided to just stay celibate and not date anyone again unless they magically happened to be ace (my dating pool as a masc lesbian is already small enough😐).

against my will, i fell in love with the best woman i've ever met, and we are discussing sex stuff before we do anything but im so fuckin scared to be honest and tell her im ace. if i was completely honest, id tell her i never want to have sex, ever. but i can't say that. she expresses so much desire to be close to me sexually because im not a very touchy-feely person physically or emotionally in the first place. i dont want to deny her this when i already can't give her so much other stuff.

i need some advice other than "tell her the truth". this might be toxic and tell me off if this is the wrong place to ask this, but how do i get over my asexuality or make it easier to force myself to have sex? any tips? literally anything? i would smoke weed before sex as a teen, but sometimes i dont have the time before the mood changes in the bedroom.

thank you for reading, and i'm sorry for the question lol

EDIT: im not saying that i WONT tell her im ace. im not fully Replused by sex, so i just wanted to know if there was literally any hope of being able to make myself more comfortable with it before i end up telling her ab my sexuality. "how do i get over my asexuality" was stupid to ask, and i apologize. its not possible. i was just emotional and being unrealistic. please ignore that!

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@asexualityonreddit

I (f20) am in college and think I’m on the asexual spectrum. It’s been hard for me in friendship circles.

Usually don’t post like this but wanted to get some more asexuals opinions on this…

So let me just start by saying that all throughout highschool I never was interested in guys at all. I had some fake crushes on some guys I thought were cute in the face, but when I tried to think of them sexually I got repulsed. Now I’ve been in college for two years, I’ve had one boyfriend (now ex) and he’s the only person I’ve ever I guess felt “sexually” attracted to in my life. Like it didn’t feel like a total violation to think of him in that way. We never did have sex though so I’m not 100%

Anyways, the thought of hookup culture and kissing randos at bars disgusts me. Everytime I’m with my girlfriends and they tell me about experiences like this or stuff I secretly get super uncomfortable but want to be supportive cuz I’m all for girls going what they want. The idea of this is just totally disgusting to me because I generally find the idea sex and other hookup actions gross. Being in college feeling this way I feel like a prude but I swear it’s not a moral thing it’s a physical reaction.

I think the best way to describe me would be demisexual. And I hate the people who are like “aren’t we all?” NO. I don’t feel sexual attraction to hot men on the street or celebrities. I can tell when someone is physically attractive but it’s never sexual.

Also I know people might ask. No I do not like women. I know it sounds like I might but I promise you I am also repulsed by them sexually in the same way and also because I am straight lol.



https://redd.it/1p02et5
@asexualityonreddit

I Don't Know What I Am

I (19F) have never been in a relationship, despite being asked out a few times, simply because I'm not interested in a relationship. Specifically, I'm absolutely not interested in a relationship that would be considered average and would include sex in any shape or form.

Alone the thought to be doing this with another human makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because I find it uncomfortable and icky to even think about.

I've also never really had a crush when I was younger. When I was asked, I always had to come up with someone just to be able to say I'm crushing on someone, to the point that I gaslighted myself so deeply that I believed myself for a while, before I caught myself again.

However, I have had feelings for my previous best friend (whom I had grown really close with, and was the first friend I had that I was sometimes cuddling with when we hung out, or who would kiss my forehead when I was sad and she would comfort me) that most people would probably title as romantic (?).

Maybe that's what it is, simply without the s*xual components (or kisses on the mouth, I find this very uncomfortable to imagine), or maybe not. I honestly don't know.

So, am I actually asexual? Or maybe not, after all?

I'm aware it is an umbrella term for many other kinds of terms, but honestly, all these possible labels confuse me so much. I would really appreciate at least one answer, as I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.



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@asexualityonreddit

Being asexual and dealing with constant flirting – advice?

I’m an asexual student in a very small university (~50 students that are constantly attending classes). Over the past three years, I’ve been approached by multiple guys, and it’s been really difficult to navigate. I try to show subtle signs that I’m not interested, but many confuse my kindness for romantic interest.

It’s challenging to find ways to reject them without being rude or hurting feelings, and sometimes it feels overwhelming to constantly manage unwanted attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you handle it without escalating things or feeling uncomfortable?

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