Is it okay to use sex toys as an asexual?

I bought my first (clitoral) vibrator yesterday and used it for the first time, mainly out of curiosity and for my libido during my ovulation period. I enjoyed it a lot; however, I’m a bit conflicted eternally, as I am asexual. It okay to like using sex toys even if you don’t like sex?

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If I were a computer
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Wife just told me she's asexual...

And that she feels like I've been raping her for our entire marriage because she never wanted it. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I don't understand.

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too ace for the allos, too sensual for the aces, feeling stuck in between.

I (F40) feel so alienated a lot of the time. I'm ace (obviously) in the way that I don't desire any sex acts. BUT, I'm also very very sensual. I love touch. I LOVE kissing. Hell, I even enjoy some non-sex related kinkery. But it puts me at a weird in-between.
I'm polyamorous, so I do desire to meet new people (women and fems only I'm a lesbian), but one of two things happens very regularly.
1. I get written off completely for being ace.
2. I DO hit it off with someone, and it goes well, but their interest goes out the window when I get physical, but not TOO physical.
3. Sometimes I get real lucky and find a happy medium, but this one is less frequent.

I dunno.
I'm not after any advice in particular or anything. Just venting. It kinda sucks.

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