Asexual or just a nervous virgin?

Hi, I’m 20M and I’m a virgin. Whenever I think about having sex it makes me uncomfortable like the idea of being in that situation myself scares me and makes my stomach churn but I watch porn and masturbate to it with no such worries. Am I just nervous about sex because I’m a virgin? Or could I be asexual?

https://redd.it/1omcupd
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual or haven’t met the “right guy”!

Over so many years of talking to people around me, I am low key (high key) tired of hearing from men that you aren’t asexual, you just haven’t engaged in sex with me or I will cure your asexuality (as if it’s a disease)!

Frankly now its useful too! It helps me filter out insensitive or non-learners people.

https://redd.it/1omddfj
@asexualityonreddit

What do people like about kissing?

Had my first kiss yesterday at the age of 24 and I need to talk to someone about it.

TLDR: It was an extremely neutral experience, I’m wondering what other people (ace, aro, or allo) feel when they kiss someone

So I’m extremely scared of any physical intimacy and been pretty sure I was ace the last 10 years or so. I went out to a club for Halloween and started dancing with a girl and she wanted to kiss me, so I said sure. TBH I did kinda approach the evening hoping for this, since I’ve always had that thought of “how do you know if you’ve never tried” and just wanted to see how it was. And it was… just okay? I feel like there was so much lead up and it was kinda strange. Not bad but not really enjoyable, I was more curious during it than anything.

Basically nothing came natural to me, like how I’m supposed to move or what I’m expected to do next (like, do we just makeout the same way for 20 minutes or am I supposed to do something else?), at some point my friend even literally reached over to put my hand on her waist 😬

Basically I’m wondering what do people feel when they kiss someone? Does it depend on the person? As far as I can tell the kiss wasn’t bad but I also wasn’t super super into her (which sounds bad to say but, to be fair, I’m ace and I’m never super into anyone). I’m curious to hear from any ace people who enjoy sex and kissing, or those who don’t, or even allo people who can tell me how it is for them.

Thank you! 😘

https://redd.it/1om9ix3
@asexualityonreddit

The more I know about Freud the more I feel like being asexual just disproves all of his f'd up research and I like that lol

Like "sexual impulses are the source of all human energy" huh you know that's interesting where does my energy come from, interesting huh

https://redd.it/1omeno4
@asexualityonreddit

Not sure how to describe it — the most intense form of “romantic” desire for someone who’s asexual.

I’ve considered myself asexual since I was 16.
I’ve liked both men and women before, but I’ve never felt any sexual attraction at all, nor had entered a stable relationship.

What I truly crave is mental resonance — talking for hours, sharing thoughts, or simply existing in the same space with someone I deeply connect with. Sometimes I find myself drawn to small, vivid details — cherry-like lips, or warm eyes glimmering behind the chill of glasses — but it’s more of an aesthetic pull than anything physical.

Even kissing feels like the farthest my fantasies can go; anything beyond that instantly turns me off.

There was one person I once loved most deeply. At the height of that feeling, all I wanted(and did)was to hold her tightly in my arms. Sometimes, I’d feel a fleeting urge to kiss her, soft and transient, gone before it ever became real desire. That’s when I realized: my affection runs deep, but it never becomes sexual. It’s warmth, admiration, and quiet awe — but never lust.

I’m wondering how others here experience this.
What’s the most intense form of romantic or emotional desire you’ve ever felt?
I’d really love to hear how you define or experience “romantic” connection without sexual attraction.

https://redd.it/1omfb4d
@asexualityonreddit

And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1omiy6w
@asexualityonreddit

Idk what to title this but I thought this was funny and seemed kinda ace
https://redd.it/1omizyr
@asexualityonreddit

Ace flag near bottom
https://redd.it/1omli2q
@asexualityonreddit

And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1omiln6
@asexualityonreddit

Sprinkling in some ace joy: favourite part(s) of being asexual?

Hi everyone! I don't know about you guys, but I'm craving some ace joy. Between questioning or TW posts, I've noticed this sub can get a bit... focused on the darker sides of asexuality, which personally have been really enlightening and even sometimes heart-warming, but I'm looking forward to hearing some of you guys' favourite parts of being asexual! <3

It's such a beautiful thing imo, like the fact that we have a subreddit to gather together and discuss this complex thing. I've spent so many years in the dark about it, and feeling alone, but I'm so grateful for connections like the ones we have here.

Some of my favourite parts of being ace include how easy and natural it feels to embrace who I am. I'm a very practical person who likes to get things done right away, so I love that I don't have any desire for sex because it's definitely not happening right now (or ever, lol), if that makes sense! I also love how it feels like no matter how much has changed over the years, or how much I've changed, asexuality is at the core of who I am throughout my life and it feels like an anchoring fact about myself. I also think our community has hella good humour, and I love how much I can relate to everyone in big or small ways, it's truly meaningful.

Okay, rant over! Your turn pls!

https://redd.it/1omo4gg
@asexualityonreddit

And it is always because i mentioned that i am sex-repulsed ( OCD related pretty long story i am sorry )
https://redd.it/1ompn0j
@asexualityonreddit

ACE MONARCH!!!
https://redd.it/1omq0hi
@asexualityonreddit

I swear I'm always being reminded of why I'm sex repulsed and negative
https://redd.it/1omp0zq
@asexualityonreddit

i made my own aroace flag !
https://redd.it/1omuxe5
@asexualityonreddit

I made something
https://redd.it/1omrk9a
@asexualityonreddit

Aromantic, asexual and anxious
https://redd.it/1omxycz
@asexualityonreddit

Alcohol free asexuals

I’ve noticed an interesting pattern since joining asexual communities (just Reddit and AceSpace to be fair) - a very large percentage of ace individuals I have met, compared to the general population, tend to be alcohol free. Has anyone else noticed this? It may be a coincidence but I don’t think I’ve actually met a single asexual person who drinks alcohol yet! 😂 the only theory I can think of is that alcohol related cultures tend to be tied closely with hookup culture, and for those of us who don’t care about hookups maybe we are less inclined to drink? would love to hear y’all’s opinions.

https://redd.it/1omyvlx
@asexualityonreddit

Publicity is making me feel like I am sick

Where I live, there are adds about a med that is suppose to help with libido.

Already, I wish more and more that there was something to help me get rid of my Asexuality, as I feel like I am sick and life seems so much easier for allosexuals.

And now I see those adds and it makes me wish even more that there was med to help me be sexually interested in anyone.

https://redd.it/1omxbce
@asexualityonreddit

Question

So I identify as asexual because I don't feel sexual attraction to people (mostly because of childhood trauma) but I do for fictional characters that I find attractive like Astarion from BG3 (its a game based off DnD) my ongoing theory is because fictional characters haven't hurt me like real people but honestly im just confused, i know im only 20 but it's hard to explain to people who just say "oh you'll change when you get older " but honestly I personally feel like I could be single the rest of my life and my own mother said thats sad because and I quote "I don't love myself enough"......sorry for the weird rant but this has just been on my mind lately and I just want to talk to other people who might understand as well

https://redd.it/1omrq9q
@asexualityonreddit

Am I Asexual?

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.

https://redd.it/1on34vp
@asexualityonreddit

Are asexual lives better?

I've always daydreamed about being asexual, I assume my life would be simpler and more time and energy focused on myself. I wouldnt have wasted my entire teenage years chasing girls with terrible personalities. I wouldnt have spent my entire 20s healing from heart breaks. I feel like I wasted so much time because the urge to reproduce is increadibly strong and I wish to escape it for a simpler existance.

is this actually the case, or am I doing the whole grass always greener thing?

https://redd.it/1on3x2h
@asexualityonreddit