i think i’m asexual, looking for others’ opinions/advice

hey, i’m just posting here in hopes to get some advice because this is the kind of thing i can’t really talk to my friends or family about.

so basically, i’m (19f) in my first serious relationship with my girlfriend (21f) who is literally just the most loving, thoughtful, and supportive partner i could ever hope for. not to mention the fact that she’s insanely beautiful, like she’s STUPIDLY attractive, we’ve been together for about 3 months and talking for longer than that but every time i see her i’m still just as gobsmacked by her perfection as i was the first time.

i say all of this to say, i know for sure that there isn’t any issue between us or within our relationship that could be causing me to have such a low libido. but the fact of the matter is, i just don’t really want to have sex.

this isn’t to say i don’t ENJOY our sex. i lost my virginity to her and every time we’ve done it since then, it was fine, like it felt good and i didn’t feel uncomfortable per se. but something i’ve noticed about myself is that i just really don’t like it that much. even when we’re just cuddling and she starts getting touchy, i always feel weirdly disappointed because i already know it means i’m going to have to ‘perform’ in a way (aka, act how somebody SHOULD act when they’re having fun during sex).

the only part of sex i enjoy is giving, and even that’s just because it makes me feel good knowing i’m making HER feel good and i like making her happy, not because i’m ever especially turned on or “in the mood”.

part of me knows it’s completely normal to be asexual, or to just generally not like having sex as much as others might. but part of me can’t help feeling really bad about it, almost guilty. i feel like i SHOULD want to have sex with my girlfriend, you know? i’m sexually attracted to her of course but that desire/need for sex just isn’t there. talking to her about it would probably help and i know this, but there’s this mental barricade telling me it will literally break our relationship or, even worse, make her insecure. my anxiety’s just getting the better of me about this.

https://redd.it/1olg8zn
@asexualityonreddit

Why must this happen to meeee

I am sex repulsed, very sex repulsed
But for some reason, no matter where I'm staying, or even if I'm just visiting - I always end up overhearing people going at it 🥹 so much I became extremely paranoid to any strange noise and sometimes I go into spirals over it

Is it really that hard to NOT do that while I'm at a very close distance ??? It happened last night again, the rooms aren't even a meter apart and the bed was so noisy I cant get the sound out of my brain it's HAUNTING ME

https://redd.it/1oln06q
@asexualityonreddit

Can sex-repulsed asexuals watch spicy vids?

Yeah, ik this sounds stupid but i got curious abt it bc i never heard of asexuals that are sex-repulsed but still tolerate spicy vids or something like that.

Soooo yeah, i would like to know if it is possible for a sex-repulsed asexual to watch them and even enjoy watching it?

And if so, would you like to talk abt it?

Im curious

https://redd.it/1olo6wd
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual beholder
https://redd.it/1olqd9d
@asexualityonreddit

Just a few sans pride flags yes I already posted them somewhere else but I thought it fits here too well not to share tho so Um yeah I hope you like em too haha😅🖤🤍💜

https://redd.it/1old1g5
@asexualityonreddit

Getting mass downvoted and accused of being pro ai for complaining about gooners
https://redd.it/1olr09d
@asexualityonreddit

How to handle the need to be desired?

I (27 ftm) came out as asexual some times ago and I am very confortable with it… Except for the deep craving to be desired! It was taking most of my thought back when my mood disorder wasn’t medicated. Now I think about it way less but I really feel the need to be desired carnally & sexually by someone… does it resonate with anyone and does anyone have an idea how i can handle that so it doesn’t makes me think less of myself??

https://redd.it/1oltq5h
@asexualityonreddit

Added a little bit of ace pride when I went out for Halloween on Friday night. It's not often that I get to wear the ace accessories, but I always appreciate when I have the opportunity.

https://redd.it/1olt907
@asexualityonreddit

being asexual in november is a VERY good time. cw talk of jorkin it

I love nnn my ego is fucking thriving right now. friend made a comment about how she forgot and was sad she couldn't 'goon' (her words not mine) to some character or whatever and i was immediately like. WEAKLING. she tried to be smug and be like "ohh but you can't to your fave either" BUT THE JOKES ON HER. I don't yoink my shit to the character I just fantasize about him beating me half to death. my friends are weak. my ego is thriving. and to no nut november, I say BRING IT ON, FOR NUTTING MEANS NUTTIN' TO ME!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAA

(disclaimer: this is a joke post, freakiness is natural for a lot of people and I don't actually think it's weakness or whatever. you do you, this is a bit)

(bonus disclaimer: I wasn't being a dick, my friends and I are mean to each other frequently)

https://redd.it/1olwt5x
@asexualityonreddit

Blursed date

https://redd.it/1olwuzk
@asexualityonreddit

Masturbated for the first time in 30+ years

I guess I'm sex repulsed, as P in V sex has never interested me and masturbation etc just seems weird and gross to me. I still get horny and like BDSM and stuff until the sex starts then I check out, but that can sometimes leave me with blue balls


I decided to figure out what the fuss was about with masturbation, as the only times I'd tried in the past it just felt weird and I stopped within ten seconds and didn't like it


I forced through it last night and . . . uh it was still unpleasant? It honestly felt like vomitting, but from my penis. The stomach muscles clenching and knees getting weak felt exactly like I was going to throw up, except it went down instead of up and I never really felt good at any point?


I wonder if something is disconnected from the pleasure center in my brain? I have musical anhedonia which means my brain doesn't get any pleasure from music, I wonder if it's similar?


For those of you who have tried masturbating before, was that similar to your experience? Does it "feel good" or does it feel more like sticking a finger in your throat to gag where your body reacts and you feel it reacting, but there's not some magical pleasure that I assumed there would be?


tldr; masturbated because people make it seem really enjoyable, 3/10 experience, better to vomit from my penis than my mouth, but not really fun either way

https://redd.it/1olz1qa
@asexualityonreddit

My 8 year old sister just said this

We were talking abt kids for some reason, and she asked me if i was ever going to have kids. I said no and she gives me a stumped look for abt 3 seconds, then says "well, you might change your mind someday" lmfao

https://redd.it/1om3bpl
@asexualityonreddit

When a close friend get a partner

I don’t know if anyone else here relates to this, but I’ve been struggling with something lately. I had a really close friend (we used to talk every day, cook together, go to the cinema, take walks, even spend vacations with their family). They were basically my person. But ever since they got a partner, everything has slowly faded. The plans we used to make together are now the plans they make with their partner. They even go on the same walks or cafes I showed them, just with someone else now. And the texts that used to get instant replies now go unanswered for over a week...
It’s not like there was a fight or an official end. It just hurts to realize that I’ve quietly been replaced. And what makes it harder is that no one would see this as a loss because it’s “just friendship.” And it feels like a breakup that I’m not allowed to grieve. When I was with them I never felt insecure about being ace because I had friends like them that reminded me the value of friendship and how not everything has to be about romantic love. But now I feel like I will always be replaced by the "most important form of love" while I keep thinking that friendship should be treated the same way.
Has anyone else gone through this? How do you deal with losing that closeness without any real closure?

https://redd.it/1olvrzb
@asexualityonreddit

Very confused about my sexuality

Does fantasizing about fictional characters sexually make you not ace? I feel sick to my stomach and want to puke whenever I think about sex with real people, but I do masturbate and sometimes think up sexual scenarios with my favorite fictional characters...I also did phone sex once, where there was roleplay involved, and somewhat enjoyed it but I was not sexually attracted to the person I did it with, I don't think...help!

https://redd.it/1om96go
@asexualityonreddit

i hate being an ace AMAB

im not saying that ace AFAB people dont suffer from the pressure of needing to have sexual desires, but i think that, in this case, AMAB always suffer the most.

i interact mostly with queer folk and even inside the community people just look down on me, dont take me seriously, think of me as a lesser man and even make some queerphobic remarks towards me. idk, when i have this kind of interaction i always feel like a failure, even though i def dont want to perform masculinity neither have any kind of sexual interaction in my life.

im just tired that the closest people to me cant understand me and needed to vent. thankss

https://redd.it/1om8fdq
@asexualityonreddit