AITA for thinking putting specific sexual items in all college dorm move in bags is a bit weird?
So, I like to think that despite being a bit sex repulsed myself, that I’m overall pretty sex positive. Basically do whatever you want with whoever you want who consents to do it with you, just not directly in front of me.
But now I’m starting to second guess myself after being told that I’m weird for thinking it’s weird to put strawberry flavored oral lube into every college freshman’s move in bag at my school.
Condoms in the move in bag? Sure, I can support that. Not everyone at college needs or even wants anything to do with actions that should involve condoms, but you know, it’s college. That’s fine.
Strawberry flavored oral lube available as a free sample at the optional safe sex welcome event or as an option to grab off the dorm reception desk? Totally normal for college. I 100% support it.
Giving out specifically strawberry flavored oral lube as part of the mandatory for all freshman move in bags that include things like their dorm keys? To me that seems like a step too far. Especially since it’s the ONLY sex item in the bag. No condoms. No safe sex promotion. Just flavored lube.
Not only is it assuming that every freshly 18 year old (and some 17 year old minors) are going to have sex, but it’s also assuming that they’ll have a highly specific kind of sex. At least condoms should be used by anyone having any kind of sex that involves anyone with a penis. I get people can just throw it out if they don’t want it, but why give such a specific item to everyone in the first place.
Also, like, these kids are moving in with their PARENTS!!! My mom looked through the welcome bag to see what cool university branded merch I got. I could have explained condoms to her. That’s just college. Strawberry lube? That would not have been fun.
Am I crazy? Sex favorable aces please inform me if I’m letting my personal feelings about sex cloud my judgement here. I also feel I have to ask here because when I explained that not every college student wants oral sex, I was called a prude.
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So, I like to think that despite being a bit sex repulsed myself, that I’m overall pretty sex positive. Basically do whatever you want with whoever you want who consents to do it with you, just not directly in front of me.
But now I’m starting to second guess myself after being told that I’m weird for thinking it’s weird to put strawberry flavored oral lube into every college freshman’s move in bag at my school.
Condoms in the move in bag? Sure, I can support that. Not everyone at college needs or even wants anything to do with actions that should involve condoms, but you know, it’s college. That’s fine.
Strawberry flavored oral lube available as a free sample at the optional safe sex welcome event or as an option to grab off the dorm reception desk? Totally normal for college. I 100% support it.
Giving out specifically strawberry flavored oral lube as part of the mandatory for all freshman move in bags that include things like their dorm keys? To me that seems like a step too far. Especially since it’s the ONLY sex item in the bag. No condoms. No safe sex promotion. Just flavored lube.
Not only is it assuming that every freshly 18 year old (and some 17 year old minors) are going to have sex, but it’s also assuming that they’ll have a highly specific kind of sex. At least condoms should be used by anyone having any kind of sex that involves anyone with a penis. I get people can just throw it out if they don’t want it, but why give such a specific item to everyone in the first place.
Also, like, these kids are moving in with their PARENTS!!! My mom looked through the welcome bag to see what cool university branded merch I got. I could have explained condoms to her. That’s just college. Strawberry lube? That would not have been fun.
Am I crazy? Sex favorable aces please inform me if I’m letting my personal feelings about sex cloud my judgement here. I also feel I have to ask here because when I explained that not every college student wants oral sex, I was called a prude.
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Told a friend that I’m asexual and it went well!
For context I’m in this support group for cancer survivors and once a year we go out and do some fun things together. Our annual fun activity day was yesterday and I was in the car with several people from the group, including this one woman who I’ll call Perry. Perry is in her late 20s and I’m in my early 20s. I don’t know Perry super well yet since we only talked to each other like twice before this day but she seems cool and I just kinda clicked with her. She also mentioned going to pride and I think she mentioned being bi so I knew she was cool like that.
We were talking about horror and horror podcasts and I thought about The Magnus Archives which I like (I’m on season 2). I really like and relate to the main character Jonathan Sims since he’s biromantic (canon in all but name), canonically asexual (word of god), and strongly implied to be sex-repulsed/averse, which is the same as my identity and how I feel about sex. Lately I’ve been wanting to be more open and honest about who I am, including but not limited to my asexuality, since I feel I’ve spent too much of my life hiding myself in general. So I kinda saw an opportunity to bring it up so after explaining the podcast to her and why I like it, I said something along the lines of
“this might seem kinda silly but the main character is asexual like me so I kinda like that.” And she responded with something like “no that’s not silly, representation is important.” It felt really validating of both my identity and how much I relate to this character. She didn’t make a huge deal about it or anything which was nice, I didn’t feel like getting too into it in that moment. It was kinda the ideal response to my comment so it made me happy.
I kinda have anxiety about sharing stuff like that with others since in the past I’ve had bad experiences with close friends (not with being ace but other stuff). It’ll take a lot of time and effort but I want to try to move past all that and get better with making friends and sharing who I am with people.
Just wanted to share some ace positivity and a nice story here today.
https://redd.it/1eut7ux
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For context I’m in this support group for cancer survivors and once a year we go out and do some fun things together. Our annual fun activity day was yesterday and I was in the car with several people from the group, including this one woman who I’ll call Perry. Perry is in her late 20s and I’m in my early 20s. I don’t know Perry super well yet since we only talked to each other like twice before this day but she seems cool and I just kinda clicked with her. She also mentioned going to pride and I think she mentioned being bi so I knew she was cool like that.
We were talking about horror and horror podcasts and I thought about The Magnus Archives which I like (I’m on season 2). I really like and relate to the main character Jonathan Sims since he’s biromantic (canon in all but name), canonically asexual (word of god), and strongly implied to be sex-repulsed/averse, which is the same as my identity and how I feel about sex. Lately I’ve been wanting to be more open and honest about who I am, including but not limited to my asexuality, since I feel I’ve spent too much of my life hiding myself in general. So I kinda saw an opportunity to bring it up so after explaining the podcast to her and why I like it, I said something along the lines of
“this might seem kinda silly but the main character is asexual like me so I kinda like that.” And she responded with something like “no that’s not silly, representation is important.” It felt really validating of both my identity and how much I relate to this character. She didn’t make a huge deal about it or anything which was nice, I didn’t feel like getting too into it in that moment. It was kinda the ideal response to my comment so it made me happy.
I kinda have anxiety about sharing stuff like that with others since in the past I’ve had bad experiences with close friends (not with being ace but other stuff). It’ll take a lot of time and effort but I want to try to move past all that and get better with making friends and sharing who I am with people.
Just wanted to share some ace positivity and a nice story here today.
https://redd.it/1eut7ux
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Scared of men :x
Anyone else have a really hard time interacting with men because you're afraid they will hit on you or even just think about you in a sexualized way? There are two guys at my work that have shown some interest in me and I will start to panic whenever I see them off in the distance. They both seem like nice guys but I just get so freaked out by any attention at all :(
I think it might be due to being over-sexualized as a child. I went through puberty really early and developed at a young age. Adult men (like 30's-50's) cat-called me, asked me for my number, and made comments about my body at 10/11/12 years old. Is this something other ace people experience or is it more of a trauma thing?
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Anyone else have a really hard time interacting with men because you're afraid they will hit on you or even just think about you in a sexualized way? There are two guys at my work that have shown some interest in me and I will start to panic whenever I see them off in the distance. They both seem like nice guys but I just get so freaked out by any attention at all :(
I think it might be due to being over-sexualized as a child. I went through puberty really early and developed at a young age. Adult men (like 30's-50's) cat-called me, asked me for my number, and made comments about my body at 10/11/12 years old. Is this something other ace people experience or is it more of a trauma thing?
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Random Ace Fairly Odd Parents comic (ace microaggression warning)
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From the aaaaaaacccccccce community on Reddit: Random Ace Fairly Odd Parents comic (ace microaggression warning)
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Coming to terms with my sexuality felt like a weight lifted off my chest.
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MRW I'm at Little Caesar's and they ask if I want some free Crazy Bread (Does it count as garlic bread?)
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My partner cheated on me because I was asexual
I'm going to be honest. Being ace is difficult. My partner cheated on me because of my low sex drive. I was in a 6-year relationship with my girlfriend, and she always ranted to me about craving intimacy and sex and how she desperately wanted to have sex with a man. She told me these things while she was with me, and it made me feel so guilty that she saw the relationship as more of a burden than an actual one. She ranted about it so much to the point that she suggested me being a fucking cuck since I didn’t see “sex” as a big deal, but just because my viewing of sex is different doesn’t mean I’m okay with getting cheated on.. like??? But yeah, skip to a few months later, and it’s August; she called me on the phone and cried about how she had a nightmare that she slept with a man and whatnot. At first, I didn’t care because it was just a dream, but later, as the day continued, guess what! She confessed that the reason she didn’t talk to me the entire day yesterday was because she was getting dicked down by a 29-year-old catholic prick. He knew we were dating too; my girlfriend sobbed and claimed that “the sex didn’t mean anything, it was bad, “ and I told her, “I don’. t give a fuck if the sex was good or not; you still cheated on me.” And she continued to cry, whining how “You’re never gonna speak to me again after this.” And I was thinking, “Yeah, no fucking shit.. you’re right about that.” Honestly, I was a fool for believing she’d stay loyal. I trusted her; I gave her everything, even sent her fucking care packages while she was in foster care, and spent six years of my life trying my hardest to please her. I even went as far as to give my virginity to her, despite the fact I felt pressured to do it and utterly uncomfortable during the entire thing, but I pushed it aside to have sex because I knew that’s what she wanted. I truly believed that there’s no love if there’s no sex; it still hurts; I wanted the relationship to work out, and I even hoped to see her this October. But no, long-distance relationships can’t work, especially if one in the relationship is an out-of-control sex freak and the other is an asexual with zero libido. I just wish she would’ve told me sooner that she wanted to break up with me instead of cheating behind my back, just for a short lived sex moment.
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I'm going to be honest. Being ace is difficult. My partner cheated on me because of my low sex drive. I was in a 6-year relationship with my girlfriend, and she always ranted to me about craving intimacy and sex and how she desperately wanted to have sex with a man. She told me these things while she was with me, and it made me feel so guilty that she saw the relationship as more of a burden than an actual one. She ranted about it so much to the point that she suggested me being a fucking cuck since I didn’t see “sex” as a big deal, but just because my viewing of sex is different doesn’t mean I’m okay with getting cheated on.. like??? But yeah, skip to a few months later, and it’s August; she called me on the phone and cried about how she had a nightmare that she slept with a man and whatnot. At first, I didn’t care because it was just a dream, but later, as the day continued, guess what! She confessed that the reason she didn’t talk to me the entire day yesterday was because she was getting dicked down by a 29-year-old catholic prick. He knew we were dating too; my girlfriend sobbed and claimed that “the sex didn’t mean anything, it was bad, “ and I told her, “I don’. t give a fuck if the sex was good or not; you still cheated on me.” And she continued to cry, whining how “You’re never gonna speak to me again after this.” And I was thinking, “Yeah, no fucking shit.. you’re right about that.” Honestly, I was a fool for believing she’d stay loyal. I trusted her; I gave her everything, even sent her fucking care packages while she was in foster care, and spent six years of my life trying my hardest to please her. I even went as far as to give my virginity to her, despite the fact I felt pressured to do it and utterly uncomfortable during the entire thing, but I pushed it aside to have sex because I knew that’s what she wanted. I truly believed that there’s no love if there’s no sex; it still hurts; I wanted the relationship to work out, and I even hoped to see her this October. But no, long-distance relationships can’t work, especially if one in the relationship is an out-of-control sex freak and the other is an asexual with zero libido. I just wish she would’ve told me sooner that she wanted to break up with me instead of cheating behind my back, just for a short lived sex moment.
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AITAH for telling my asexual friend that I wish I wasn't asexual?
(using a friends account) I am asexual but struggle with internalized acephobia. I'm trying to accept myself, but I'm not there yet. I have one other friend who is asexual and proud, and I asked them if they would be up to talk to me about it. I told them that I often wish I was not asexual, and that I really want to work on that. I said this thinking that maybe they went through the same stuff when they realized they were asexual and could give me tips, as they are a lot older than me.
They later told me that me saying that I wish I wasn't asexual made them really uncomfortable, and that I shouldn't talk to asexual people about this because it will hurt them. They recommended some books for me to read instead.
AITAH for saying this to them? If another asexual person would talk to you about their internalized acephobia, would this hurt you?
I'm asking genuinely, I want to work on myself and thought that talking to other ace people could help me, but if it just hurts them I will stop doing it.
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(using a friends account) I am asexual but struggle with internalized acephobia. I'm trying to accept myself, but I'm not there yet. I have one other friend who is asexual and proud, and I asked them if they would be up to talk to me about it. I told them that I often wish I was not asexual, and that I really want to work on that. I said this thinking that maybe they went through the same stuff when they realized they were asexual and could give me tips, as they are a lot older than me.
They later told me that me saying that I wish I wasn't asexual made them really uncomfortable, and that I shouldn't talk to asexual people about this because it will hurt them. They recommended some books for me to read instead.
AITAH for saying this to them? If another asexual person would talk to you about their internalized acephobia, would this hurt you?
I'm asking genuinely, I want to work on myself and thought that talking to other ace people could help me, but if it just hurts them I will stop doing it.
https://redd.it/1evau1q
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