I'm doing that thing again where I crash out over government surveillance and tech companies needing more identification under the guise of protecting children

Hello Little People Living Inside My Computer (LPLIMC),

Some place hit me up and asked if I'd share a survey. They're trying to understand hackers, or something, I don't know. It's a legitimate research institute from a fancy-shmancy place, it's all on something called "a research grant" (made up words), it's non-nerds trying to understand stinky nerds.

- No login required
- Doesn't log anything
- It's anonymous

There (apparently) might be questions you're uncomfortable with (I have no idea why), so they said if you're uncomfortable with any questions you can simply skip them.

If you feel like spending 15-20 minutes clicking on multiple choice thingies to help some research place understand nerds, feel free to do it. Or don't do it, whatever.

https://globalcyberstudy.limesurvey.net/115971?lang=en&newtest=Y

Oh, I'm going through it now, they're trying to understand the psychology of Threat Actors versus non-Threat Actors

Neat

As many people know, there is a thing called the "Terrible Twos". It is called this because toddlers have big emotions, but are incapable of expressing their frustration or regulating their emotions. This is a more complex task their brains haven't fully formed yet.

Although it is called the "Terrible Twos", it isn't necessarily two years old, is ranges from slightly before being two years old, all the way to almost three years old.

I'm happy to share my son has had his first few tantrums. Just kidding, I'm not happy, it actually fucking sucks.

I told my son he couldn't play with his toy and he LOST HIS MIND. He was completely inconsolable. He threw himself to the floor, screaming at the top of lungs like he was being dismembered, didn't want us to hold him or touch him, refused his snacks or comfort food, bro LOST HIS MIND.

Then he slowly calmed down... and it stopped.

Dawg, toddler tantrums fucking suck ass so much omfg it's actually the worst and it's super stressful

I was indeed paid to post this, although not very much. I liked the core concept of what they wanted to do. I think the people behind it are chill. My monies was given to me because I have stinky nerd street cred.

This university research place which is trying to understand "hackers", or whatever, got monies from some place to study stinky nerds.

These non-nerds were like, "well, they do crime, surely hackers and stuff have a similar psychology to other criminals". They quickly learned however that cyber criminals are FAR more paranoid than regular criminals.

With regular criminals, like a drug dealer or something, you can usually approach them and try to talk. It makes it easier because you can physically see them. With cyber criminals on the other hand, it is extremely difficult to approach them because they're (usually) hyper-paranoid and (usually) have extreme anti-government and/or anti-authority beliefs.

Additionally, unlike a majority of criminals, cyber-criminals place great importance on intellectualism and meritocracy. When this university place tried to approach hackers, they were coming in as anonymous nobodies who had no merit and no background in anything technical.

As the many nerds who follow this social media profile know, people who put out work, produce work, or do SOMETHING are (usually) treated well (or better) or given respect. It is kind of like, stinky nerd street cred.

Anyway, they found vx-underground and asked for my help to push the study. They ascertained I had stinky nerd street cred and hoped I could help them. Whenever they tried on their own they were called racial slurs, told to fuck off, were ignored, or called feds (or all of these combined).

tl;dr stinky internet nerds not think like like criminals, have different philosophies on stuff

SOMEONE CONTACT THE FTC IMMEDIATELY.

VX-UNDERGROUND MADE $500.

THEYRE DEFRAUDING EVERYONE FOR ASKING PEOPLE TO VOLUNTARILY DO A SURVEY

If you're at DEFCON this year, there will be vx-underground wrist bands distributed for free.

Yes, this is an ADVERTISEMENT.

Oh, and by the way, these wrist bands were created by the CIA, FBI, NSA and, IRS. They contain a tracking beacon that activates when you fart

Better hold those farts in buddy, the government is after you. That gas station burrito you purchased? The gas station clerk? He's in the CIA. It's Operation Ass Blast

Luther Squarepants,

I don't possess the wrist-bands, h3l3n 0f t0r does. I will ask her if she is willing to mail you CIA monitoring technology to your home

This was a very strange DM, but I respect it

This image is double-silly because it features the FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT COPY-MENU WINDOWS 11 WONT KILL.

IM NOT GOING TO RESTART MY COMPUTER. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT

IT'S BEEN 8 DAYS

Shoutout to @recogard and @eugenepage_ for the malware campaign. Your campaign has been undetected for a month, that's pretty good

Some lady at DEFCON will be sporting vx-underground UWU nails.

What does this mean? I don't know, but I thought it was cool and badass. I wanted to share it.

> post photo of girl nails
> IS SHE HOT?
> ARE THEY TRANS?

why cant you people be normal for at least one post

Some guy named Dulgex just made this for me and I'm so happy omg this is awesome thank you so much bro

Hello,

So uh, a long time ago I said I was giving away tickets to DEFCON for free. A lot of people have DM'd me about it.

I can't go into too much detail about. I don't want to diss anyone, or throw shade at anyone, because I myself don't even know what the fuck happened. But, we had the money for tickets to DEFCON. We had sponsorship money. We had all the goop ready to go.

However, for reasons I don't understand, certain people, or peoples, or individuals, or whatever, were unable to effectively communicate with us and we weren't able to do the stuff we needed to do to give away free tickets.

We ended up refunding the money to the sponsors who gave us money for DEFCON tickets. I don't know, bro.

We'll try again next year, I guess

I really don't want to throw shade at anyone, but it's super confusing, because we had a giant pile of cash from sponsors. We said, "Hello, we would like to use this giant pile of cash". They pretty much said, "Okay, cool, one moment" ... then kind of radio silence.

I assume DEFCON likes money, so I don't know what happened.