I'm on the weird part of the internet reading about Termite microbiomes

Now I'm frustrated scientists haven't conducted more research into biotechnologies that allow humans to extract nutrition from woody stuff like lignin

tldr why science man no let us eat wood wtf

The fact the United States Department of Homeland Security took down an anime streaming website, and arrested the websites administrators, can only mean one thing.

Weebs pose a serious threat to the United States government. They're dangerous. They must be contained.

Last time on Dragon Ball Z: I made a long ass post discussing my Benzodiazepine dependency. Lots of people sent me DMs, or left comments, calling me "brave", or something (is addiction and/or dependency taboo or something?). People also DMd me saying they also have Benzodiazepine dependency but were too scared to try to taper due to how dangerous the drug can be.

Behind the scenes I've basically been a test dummy for some people. Let me share with all of you how cool and badass my taper has been

> be me
> on benzos for 14 years
> not supposed to do more than 90 days
> everyone like "wtf bro"
> decide to do 25% reduction in dosage
> people call me crazy
> withdrawals start after two days, or something
> day two arrives
> insanely high anxiety
> heart sometimes races
> sometimes feel really hot
> sometimes legs feel like jelly
> sometimes really grumpy
> weird withdrawals arent nonstop
> comes in waves seemingly randomly
> sometimes better, sometimes worse
> not too bad, honestly
> really, really, really bad insomnia tho
> day five
> every clams down
> shrimple, not too bad
> consult with addiction specialist to help insomnia
> give me sleeping pills (trazadone)
> "go to hospital if you get dangerous erection"
> okay?
> hold previous 25% cut for a few weeks
> decide to aggressively taper again
> another 25% cut
> total reduction would be 50%
> start
> day two arrives
> feel really sad
> doesnt feel like depression
> feel "blue", just low energy and kind of mopey
> everything in my life great
> no reason to be sad
> legs sometimes feel like jello
> anxiety back
> heart race sometimes
> heart sometimes beat really hard
> mostly really sad

The sadness feels like I'm a 14 year old boy in math class whos crush (Susie Bananas, straight A student, champion of the Spelling Bee) recently told you in secret she has a crush on Joseph FastFeet (fastest kid in school), and now you're sad and have to listen to really emo music in your bedroom while your parents make you pancakes for dinner. It's not crippling depression, but you just feel kind of emotional.

The weird heart beat thingie is like, you'll be laying in bed and it's like your heart turned the bass up to fuck off level. I'm in bed and it feels like my heart is punching the mattress through my back. It's interesting.

Overall the taper hasn't been too bad.

Pic related: what my anxiety feels like during taper (just cat crushing the planet).

But for real, I had sooooo many DMs of people telling me about their dependency on anxiety medications. People seemed scared to discuss it? Dawg, EVERYONE knows SOMEONE with dependency and/or addiction problems (alcohol, pain killers, benzos, whatever).

It isn't anything to be ashamed of.

In my experience thus far though, some people are kind of weird like ... "just quit cold turkey bro, just drink this cleansing tonic from my favorite Instagram Influencer for $15.99 per bottle" ... just BAD medical advice and kind of superstitious thinking? I don't know. I think everyone wants to help, or offer support, but sometimes their support or opinion isn't very good... but whatever bro, we ballin', fuck it

> be me
> vxug admin
> 500,000 followers across social media
> crazy malware cat guy
> talk at unis
> millions of malwares
> unis use my website
> students use my website
> companies use my website
> governments use my website
> be mentioned by famous youtubers
> in tons of news article
> feel super cool and badass
> try to bond with younger family members
> "hey, you like someordinarygamer and moistcritical. they talked about me. thats pretty cool huh?"
> they roll eyes
> "they dont know that youre actually old and cringe"
> kills me inside
> talk to wife
> "hey fbi most wanted guy gave me an autograph!"
> she sighs
> "thats nice, but can you please just take out the trash?"
> kills me inside
> talk to young family member again
> "hey my self published book is trending top seller on amazon. thats cool huh?"
> rolls eyes
> "i guess, its not like its at barnes and noble or something"
> kill me inside

> try to bond with young family members again
> want to be cool
> use slang
> gang, aura, slimed, chopped, huzz
> hehe ik the lingo
> "ew ACTUALLY dont talk like that, youre old"

WHY CANT I BE COOL. LET ME BE COOL

Good news for people who like malware: I have more malware coming soon

Bad news for people who HATE malware: I have more malware coming soon

What does this mean? It means I'm adding another 75,000 malwares and like, 50 papers on malware reverse engineering tonight.

> check news
> see giant penis
> ???
> read news
> "The phallic forecast predicts a cluster of thunderstorms, hail and heavy windows could come through the Upper Midwest, before finishing in the central Great Plains"

wtf are meterologists actually degenerate nerds too?

Tiny people living inside my computer,

I have synced the malware to prod. It is roughly 75,000 malware. Please download the malware. If you do not download malware this cat with a loaded revolver will shoot something (or someone).

https://vx-underground.org/Updates

Cheers,
-smelly

I want to give a big shoutout to "WatchBeam.exe". WatchBeam is the LOUDEST malware I've ever seen.

When I say "runs cmd.exe", I mean it creates a new process. So, in the list below, it is literally creating a new process each time. Does this sound suspicious to you?

> run .exe
> runs cmd.exe, checks if running as admin
> runs powershell, checks screen dimensions
> runs cmd.exe, checks screen dimensions (again)
> runs cmd.exe, checks video controller
> runs cmd.exe, checks disk type
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VBOX" is present
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VBOX__" is present
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VBOX" in registry
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VirtualBox" in registry
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VBoxGuest" present
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "VmWare" in registry
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "vmmouse" in registry
> runs cmd.exe, checks if "KVM" in registry
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer model
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer name for "Xen"
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer name for "HyperV"
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer name for "Virtual"
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer serial number
> runs cmd.exe, checks mouse position
> runs cmd.exe, checks motherboard serial number
> runs cmd.exe, checks default drive letter
> runs cmd.exe, kills chrome
> runs cmd.exe, kills edge
> runs cmd.exe, kills brave
> runs cmd.exe, kills opera
> runs cmd.exe, kills vivaldi
> runs cmd.exe, kills yandex
> runs cmd.exe, kills orbitum
> runs cmd.exe, kills atom
> runs cmd.exe, kills kometa
> runs cmd.exe, kills torch
> runs cmd.exe, kills amigo
> runs cmd.exe, kills coccoc
> runs cmd.exe, kills uran
> runs cmd.exe, kills slimjet
> runs cmd.exe, kills ivaldi
> runs cmd.exe, kills firefox
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer serial number (again)
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer status
> runs cmd.exe, checks Windows type
> runs cmd.exe, checks if antivirus installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if Windows Defender on
> runs cmd.exe, checks computer status (again)
> runs cmd.exe, checks if Kaspersky installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if Norton installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if McAfee installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if BitDefender installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if AVG installed
> runs cmd.exe, checks if Windows Defender on (again)
> if all tests pass, downloads malware

YOU CREATED A NEW CMD.EXE PROCESS 48 TIMES. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

My Brother in Christ, your attempt at being stealthy unironically made your malware super loud. Your shit is not fooling ANYONE. Scrap this whole thing dawg, start over, because this shit is fucked up. I'm actually laughing at how absurd this payload is.

48 TIMES BRO

2/59 ?????????????

2/59 ??????????

https://www.virustotal.com/gui/file/1a3609e76ee85d9b0f4eb11e79d3dc0d1b401c1c967ad34825120ec267b2374e/detection

> make post making fun of malware
> get message
> look inside
> "Drop dead, you fucking idiot"

Dear people living in Brazil,

I have been invited to speak at some University there. It will be online. We are currently negotiating my extremely high compensation request ($20 for some pizza).

I will probably schizo rant about pill addiction, reverse engineering malware without using a VM, and my experiences with dealing with terrorists (I send them pictures of cats).

I'll share more details soon.

> read court affidavit on ransomware operator
> ransoms multi-billion dollar company
> does it while running Windows 11
> logs into Facebook from that computer
> uses Microsoft Edge

> be me
> get dm
> "is this malware?"
> "windows defender went crazy when i tried this video game mod"
> download
> look inside
> not malware

There is a function in Windows you can invoke called "GetAsyncKeyState". In simplest terms, this function waits for user input on the keyboard. When a key is pressed down GetAsyncKeyState tells you what was pressed down.

GetAsyncKeyState is used frequently with video games. Using this function video games can determine ... what you're pressing. Likewise, GetAsyncKeyState can be used by legitimate software for when a user does a shortcut or something. There is a lot of legitimate use cases for this function.

However, GetAsyncKeyState is also abused because GetAsyncKeyState is tells you what key on the keyboard is pressed down, GetAsyncKeyState is used as a way to record what users are typing. Typically the data returned from GetAsyncKeyState is piped to a text file. Other times malware developers may use GetAsyncKeyState to store recorded key strokes in-memory and then send it out externally to a remote computer.

Regardless, this video game mod was invoking GetAsyncKeyState and filtering each key press to determine when the mod was triggered. In essence, it was scanning and waiting to determine if it is toggled on or off. Furthermore, after the mod was toggled on or off, it logged when it was turned off for debugging purposes.

From Windows Defenders perspective it saw an unsigned and unverified library being arbitrarily loaded into a video game and, once loaded, it was scanning user keys and subsequently writing something to a text file.

After bonking this video game mod with a stick we know it's not malware. However, this is a great example of false-positives in anti-malware services because, by all means, this mod does seemingly mimic something a malware payload would do.

But it's not malware. It's just a silly video game mod for Baldurs Gate 3