the tl;dr of the drift protocol shenanigans

> be drift protocol
> decentralized trading thingy
> built on solana or something
> april 1st
> april fools
> jk $280,000,000 (approx.) stolen
> rewind
> fall, 2025
> drift people at conference
> crypto nerds approach them
> crypto nerds say theyre at some fancy place
> want to integrate with drift
> crypto nerds sneeky
> crypto nerds only talk to specific people
> wtf how they know who is who?
> crypto nerds hang out in person
> meet at multiple conferences
> crypto nerds smart af, know crypto fr
> these_guys_are_chill.jpeg
> december, january comes around
> setup private group chat
> long meetings about strategy and stuff
> contracts and on-boarding stuff
> fancy_meetings.mp4
> crypto nerds put up $1m in cash for investment
> these_guys_are_legit.mp3
> hang out more in person
> start collaborating with coding projects
> april 1st
> $280,000,000 missing
> cool bros missing
> wtf?
> all chat logs gone
> all software sharing stuff gone
> wtf?
> 1-800-help-us-mandiant
> digital forensic and incident response time
> mandiant looks inside
> 1 drift person compromised from code sharing stuff
> 2nd drift person compromised from some test thingy
> wtf who is this
> look inside
> UNC4736
> unironically north korean spies
> sent abroad to do in-person social engineering
> crypto forensic nerds tie it to radiant capitol hack
> mandiant still investigating right now

tl;dr north korean nerds leave north korea, act like total bros, hang out at conferences, have tons of money, bamboozle people in long-term social engineering and espionage stuff to steal hundreds of millions of dollars

Frustrated nerd drops zero day exploit after Microsoft vulnerability bug bounty people annoy him, or something, I don't know.

Stinky nerds confirm its legit

https://deadeclipse666.blogspot.com/2026/04/public-disclosure.html

There is some sort of dark irony that I've seen multiple completely legitimate cybersecurity researchers be banned from GitHub.

These are researchers who are verified, clean, years upon years (sometimes decades) of experience. They're well known people.

Their code and reasoning for their ban is usually unexplained or deemed "malicious".

Then some angry nerd drops a Microsoft zero day exploit on GitHub, a platform owned by Microsoft, yet it remains up.

I'm tired of people stereotyping us computer nerds. It is PREJUDICE.

Here are some stereotypes non-nerds push on us. They're all FALSE.

According to non-nerds, us nerds do the following:
- Excessive caffeine or nicotine intake
- Unusual or unhealthy sleep schedule, specifically around 3am and 5am
- Apparently have tons of tabs open, or something, in terminal or web browser
- Desk messy, covered in cables
- Hardware nerds apparently do "experiments" just to see if something works
- Notes on paper or whiteboard look like serial killer manifesto
- Web cam taped, mic disabled, because of "paranoia"
- Strong distrust in tech companies, especially social media
- Nerd so intense forget to eat or shower
- Spend 8 hours debugging instead of reading something which would take 20 minutes because ???
- Apparently we "don't know an answer" but know how to find it?
- Some nerds become irrationally angry about GUIs?
- Weird obsession with mechanical keyboards

I'm so tired of these stereotypes. Literally none of these are true.

also, on the forreal though, it was an honest mistake, you could have just told me or something, i would have happily corrected it like i am now, you dont gotta be a dick about it, assholes

sheesh

Last time on Dragon Ball Z:

The United States government threatened to destroy Iranian critical infrastructure, notably bridges and electrical grids.

Today the Iranian government responded by publishing (an incredibly dramatic) video threatening United States tech bros

Believe it or not, this was peak AI summarization. This is basically AGI

Average United States citizen age 30 - 39 (hes literally me)

> post meme, memeing ai
> ai bros go spazzo
> seem incapable of understanding humor
> "this isnt real"
> "grok, is this real?"
> "mine doesnt do this"
> "what prompt did you use?"

Big news for the unemployed today whereas an anonymous source tells media outlets about CIA tool "Ghost Murmur". GHOST MURMUR was allegedly used to track down the United States airmen who the Iranian government shot down.

"Ghost Murmur is a classified CIA tool developed by Lockheed Martin's Skunk Works. It uses long-range quantum magnetometry to detect the faint electromagnetic signature of a human heartbeat from up to 40 miles away, then pairs that data with AI to isolate it from background noise."

Do you have any idea how faint a heartbeat is? Detecting it from 40 MILES away? Using .. AI?

Nice propaganda, CIA

The sheer volume of malware reports is suffocating. If a noob sat down and read the reports everyday, within a month they'd go from noob to big brain galaxy malware nerd

It would also require immense focus because it'd be a lot of reading

Iran wants to be paid in cryptocurrency for ships that pass through the Strait of Hormuz

https://www.ft.com/content/02aefac4-ea62-48db-9326-c0da373b11b8