RIP Chuck Norris

I'll never forget all the goofy jokes you inspired

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information

November, 2024 weight:
285lbs
129.2kg

March, 2026
226lbs
102.5kg

After my son was born I fell off the weight loss wagon due to sleep deprivation and exhaustion from baby stuff. I got back on it.

I feel a lot better since losing so much weight. Health and science and stuff

> be IT
> new hardware comes in
> need to image 2000 new DELLs
> protect kids from pedos law drops
> id verification at OS level
> enter my ID for 2000 PCs
> FBI raids office building
> everyone arrested
> everyone was using pc with my ID
> all arrested for identity theft

this is how i imagine ID verification at OS level working in enterprise environments. it haunts me (it makes me giggle)

Claude, raise my children. Make no mistakes.

> wake up
> take a shit
> get out of bed
> baby screaming
> see whats wrong
> mad as hell cause hungry
> feed him
> hes eepy
> snuggle him
> headbutts face
> busts my lip
> ow
> calm down
> snuggle him
> rips glasses off my face
> bends my glasses
> laughs in my suffering
> get glasses back
> he shits his pants
> try to clean up
> angry at me because ???
> new fresh diaper on
> holding him
> slaps my face
> tries to put fingers in my nose
> put him down
> crawls to plants
> tries to eat dirt
> take away dirt
> mad as hell because wont let eat dirt
> calm him down
> shits pants again some how
> try to change him
> mad because ???
> rolls around bed
> poop stamps from ass cheeks on bed
> wrestle him
> calm him down
> new diaper again
> put him in walker to prepare breakfast
> runs over my toes
> ow
> pulls spatula off table
> chases dog around kitchen with spatula
> take away spatula
> mad as hell again
> pick him up to calm him down
> kicks me in testicles

anyway, thats been my sunday so far with a 1 year old

Meanwhile in San Francisco: random startup nerd thinks he ran into CEO of YCombinator at Chipotle, was actually just some random Asian guy. Random Asian guy apparently goes along with it. CEO of YCombinator breaks the bad news

Me at BSides doing a talk on cybersecurity

Context:

Leonid Radvinsky, founder of MyFreeCams and majority owner of OnlyFans, has died of cancer.

Hello,

Thank you to the many people who have given me malware to poke with a stick. Unfortunately right now I am extremely busy with a one year old and my work-work.

Between juggling a big stinky baby, my many malware development and research projects, work-work, malware archive stuff, and people requests to bonk stuff with a big stick, I am busy and with very limited time.

I will get around to stuff eventually... or I won't, I don't know. Whatever.

Pic unrelated

> download kali linux
> the mostest 1337 hacker tool
> super dangerous
> over 9000 hackinging tools
> can hack anything, even cows
> age verification at os level becomes law
> dont age verify 1337 hacker os
> arrested

Is hacking illegal and for nerds?

> be cow
> cow, but online
> IoT? IoC
> Internet of Cow
> no security
> cows compromised
> cow botnet
> use cows for ddos attacks
> critical infrastructure taken down by cows
> hijack cow sensor
> tell cows to attack at dawn
> open front door
> 1000 cows pooping outside house