Or, as more cynical Xitter users have commented, it is possible KingBob smuggled a phone up his ass. But I like to think he hasn't resorted to shoving electronics up his ass to shit post on social media.

Im literally shaking

This is 2nd time in TWO DAYS her cats have been seen online with guns AIMLESSLY spraying bullets INTO HER HOME. Its clear shes failing to lock up her guns and remove the ammunition from them

NOT EVERYONE CAN OWN A CAT. ITS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY

Haters will say this is AI, but anyone with a cat will tell you cats + guns is BAD BUSINESs. I recommend doing some research online about this topic.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

Fake news.

Real nerds don't go outside.

I personally haven't seen a woman in 15 months. The last woman I saw was the UberEats delivery driver and when I saw her I hid under the covers and peed my pants.

Now that you're reading this very silly post, I would like to remind you the primary purpose of this account is to periodically report on updates to the actually important thing we do: collect malware stuff

This weekend I'm pushing another big update. Thank you for your time

Ran out of caffeine products. UberEat delivered myself some energy drinks so I could lock in.

They didn't have the traditional rat poison Monsters I drink. They instead replaced it with an energy drink called "Alani"

The cans were smaller, looked like they were primarily targeted toward women, and even had a label on it marked as "vegan". They were orange and blue.

I didn't know energy drinks needed to be defined as "vegan". Maybe I'm a dumb ass and my Monsters are filled with hotdogs and milk. I don't know.

Anyway, I got 5 of them. I drank all 5 pretty quickly throughout the day because they tasted pretty good. I didn't check the ingredients or caffeine quantity listing because I falsely assumed that, because it looked girlie, it was probably low on caffeine.

My assumption was incorrect. They had slightly more caffeine than a regular monster.

I consumed 1g of caffeine in roughly 5 hours.

For a brief moment in time I was so locked in I could visibly see God. Closing my eyes I began solving complex mathematical equations and solving the greatest mysteries to stumble the greatest minds in history. I could have cured cancer if I had a laboratory and some test patients.

There's 10 types of people on this planet

Those that don't know binary

Those who hate this fucking joke

Can someone please explain to me why going to grocery store and buying basic ass shit like eggs, bread, milk, fresh vegetables, canned foods, some meats, baby food etc. cost $456???

Hello,

I'm sorry I haven't made any updates to the malware library. I'm heavily AFK this weekend because of stuff like, "family", "obligations", and something called "work-life balance". Basically, some made up normie stuff my wife says I have to do.

Love you

Dawg, my wife says my diet of mostly energy drinks, pills, and pizza. She says its "unhealthy" and I'm going to "die young" if I keep eating filth.

My wife won't let me get on my computer now until I eat vegetables at least once a day

IM A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME

Scattered Lapsus Spider Hunter Shiny, or whatever the name is, is displaying a seized by FBI thingie on their Tor domain

To the best of my knowledge, I cannot recall a time the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation performed a domain takedown, or seizure, on a weekend

What domain takedowns look like:
- Usually happens on Monday or Friday, feds rarely work weekends because they're paid poorly and require human sacrifice to survive
- United States Department of Justice makes a big deal about it, sometimes they read a script in front of a camera and say something like, "You cannot escape us, we are scary and cool"
- The Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation salutes the flag with a Bald Eagle stapled to his neck, makes a post about it on social media. The comments are usually flooded with Epstein document demands
- The United States court document system (PACER) gets slammed with information requests
- About 2,000 people comment on social media it's a "false flag" or a "CIA Honeypot". However, to the best of knowledge, everything is a false flag or CIA Honeypot, so nothing is real

No updates. I'm still busy doing stuff. Please accept this photo of a silly kitty cat as tax for something

Lowkey sometimes what's considered malware is kinda subjective

Today several large technology, or technology adjacent, companies performed massive layoffs.

The reason for these "internal restructures" and "company realignments" remain unclear as each company will offer a different explanation.

Amazon: 30,000+
Intel: 24,000+
Accenture: 11,000+
Microsoft: 7,000+
PwC: 5,600+
SalesForce: 4,000+
Meta: 600+

Other large companies which performed layoffs, but aren't really related to nerd stuff, is UPS, Nestle, Ford, Novo Nordisk, Paramount, Target, Kroger, and Applied Materials. Additionally, it should be noted a large percentage of terminations from Amazon appear to be logistics-based (i.e. delivery drivers, warehouse workers, etc).

For individuals employed in the United States this a particularly damning moment in time as the United States government is shutdown (28 days, as of this writing), and government assistance programs may not be open at this time in their region*

My condolences to the nerds who lost their jobs today

Big update pushed to the malware website people sometimes visit.

100,000 new malware available for bulk download. I stopped counting papers and other samples added but it's more than 3 for sure

Look at it here:
https://vx-underground.org/Updates

I've been informed someone is DDoSing us. This is terrible news. I can no longer work.

All I can do now is continue eating these animal crackers and watching Dragon Ball Z Kai

I actually have no idea who is DDoSing us. I am also very seriously eating animal crackers and watching Dragon Ball Z Kai. The website will be back online whenever it decides to go back online. The website is very sleepy right now, or something, I don't understand networking

I tried to get a copy of my receipt, from this company I've never heard of and have never done business with, and now my computer is making weird noises