It's corporate propaganda to say tech workers want to return to the office.

In the United States this is an actual career path. The job title is "Influencer". If done correctly you can get as much as $100,000/video by the Kremlin

Amazon announced starting in 2025 all workers will be expected to be back in the office.

Amazon employees jumped with joy knowing they will now have to wake up earlier, commute, waste time and money on travel, spend less time with their families, and deal with office politics!

wE oFfEr fReE cOFFee

Amazon employees are making six figures. Free coffee is 100% not a make-or-break situation. Half these nerds are probably burning money on Uber Eats because they don't even want to walk to the kitchen

"Everyone has to return to office. I only made $29,300,000 last year. How am I going to afford my new yacht on this salary?" — Andy Jassy, CEO of Amazon

we're gone for half a day and now people are turning pagers into bombs wtf

We don't know much about pagers, or explosives.

But what we do know a little about is malware and we can promise you there is not some 1337 technique that magically transforms a regular battery into an incendiary device.

tl;dr modified pagers, science or something

tl;dr tl;dr this guy fuckin' nailed it and we believe him to be an expert figure on hardware hacking and big brain sciency magic stuff

https://x.com/_MG_/status/1836086734171574446

We've learned some of you don't have Xitter, or the ability to see the post, so here it is as a PDF so you don't have to do stuff.

Oh. My. God.

The possibilities for initial access malware just went through the roof.

Actually, maybe not. Microsoft has upped the ante. It's all over.

We didn't anticipate Microsoft actually caring 😭

ye i program in c

Update:

We found the guy who owns the MALWRE plate and he has received the sticker.

we're gone for 30 minutes and now people are turning walkie talkies into bombs wtf

Lockbit ransomware group claims to have ransomed eFile dot com.

eFile dot com IS NOT the IRS eFile system. eFile dot com is an IRS authorized entity approved for submitting financial documents to the IRS.

we're gone for 2 hours and now people are turning butt plugs into bombs wtf

Just kidding, that didn't happen. That'd be crazy though.

> have prankware idea (non-malicious malware?)
> write simple poc
> it works.png
> decided to rewrite it 1337 coo w/ no dependencies
> ...
> 841 lines of c++ later
> nowhere near done