Poets can never move on-
They say.
But I will move on from you.
Sure, I might not be called
A poet anymore,
But I will move on from you.
I will stop writing.
I will burn everything
I've ever written on you-
my diaries, my books, every poem
I've ever dedicated to you.
Everything.
I might be hated by my readers,
But I'll stop talking to them, too.
Because what will I do with their love
When I couldn't have yours?
I'll let my readers hate me,
Because so did you .
And honestly
What difference will it make?
I'll stop bleeding through my pen.
I'll empty my mind of
every thought of you.
I'll stop talking to everyone
who ever knew that I wrote.
I'll do whatever it will take to
find the peace,
So that no one ever asks me,
"What about your new poem?
When is it coming?"
I'll move on,
No matter what people say.
I won't call you my muse anymore,
Because I'll stop writing your poems.
Sure, I might not be called
A poet anymore.
But I will move on from you.
They say.
But I will move on from you.
Sure, I might not be called
A poet anymore,
But I will move on from you.
I will stop writing.
I will burn everything
I've ever written on you-
my diaries, my books, every poem
I've ever dedicated to you.
Everything.
I might be hated by my readers,
But I'll stop talking to them, too.
Because what will I do with their love
When I couldn't have yours?
I'll let my readers hate me,
Because so did you .
And honestly
What difference will it make?
I'll stop bleeding through my pen.
I'll empty my mind of
every thought of you.
I'll stop talking to everyone
who ever knew that I wrote.
I'll do whatever it will take to
find the peace,
So that no one ever asks me,
"What about your new poem?
When is it coming?"
I'll move on,
No matter what people say.
I won't call you my muse anymore,
Because I'll stop writing your poems.
Sure, I might not be called
A poet anymore.
But I will move on from you.
❤4
I thought of writing a poem about my past, but I am afraid that I might fall for him again.
❤3
I'm bad at letting go-
A scrap dealer visited my home today.
He asked me if I had any old books
that were no longer in use.
I thought of the diaries and journals
from the time when
I was so depressed-
A pile of phases I had moved past.
I thought of giving them to him.
I took a moment to think about it.
There were so many poems, though.
I kept him waiting for a couple of minutes
while I thought about whether
I should give them away.
Then I wondered
which ones I should give him.
Every single journal, diary,
had my poems written in it.
Some poems were fictional,
some were about the people I loved,
some were about him,
and some were about the fears
I had of many what-ifs.
I brought them out
and packed them in a box.
Then I couldn't do it.
My heart sank;
I started shaking with anxiety.
There were enormous thoughts
running in my head,
and I couldn't give them
away just like that.
I cannot abandon my love.
Moving on from him
was a different thing
from moving on from the love
I painted my pages with.
The poems were mine.
I couldn't let them go,
and maybe I never will.
I'm bad at letting go, I guess.
A scrap dealer visited my home today.
He asked me if I had any old books
that were no longer in use.
I thought of the diaries and journals
from the time when
I was so depressed-
A pile of phases I had moved past.
I thought of giving them to him.
I took a moment to think about it.
There were so many poems, though.
I kept him waiting for a couple of minutes
while I thought about whether
I should give them away.
Then I wondered
which ones I should give him.
Every single journal, diary,
had my poems written in it.
Some poems were fictional,
some were about the people I loved,
some were about him,
and some were about the fears
I had of many what-ifs.
I brought them out
and packed them in a box.
Then I couldn't do it.
My heart sank;
I started shaking with anxiety.
There were enormous thoughts
running in my head,
and I couldn't give them
away just like that.
I cannot abandon my love.
Moving on from him
was a different thing
from moving on from the love
I painted my pages with.
The poems were mine.
I couldn't let them go,
and maybe I never will.
I'm bad at letting go, I guess.
❤7
I miss that night-
When we had dinner together,
When he was here with us,
When we were talking about life till 2.
When he asked,
“Where do you wanna go next year?”
I miss him.
I wish I could have
talked much more with him that night-
I wish I could have stayed there
a little longer, too.
So many days have passed-
Yet I'm not able to get out of this misery.
How? But really, how?
This was so sudden-
I regret the days I could've spent with you, yet I decided to come home.
I miss you so much , Nanu.🤍
When we had dinner together,
When he was here with us,
When we were talking about life till 2.
When he asked,
“Where do you wanna go next year?”
I miss him.
I wish I could have
talked much more with him that night-
I wish I could have stayed there
a little longer, too.
So many days have passed-
Yet I'm not able to get out of this misery.
How? But really, how?
This was so sudden-
I regret the days I could've spent with you, yet I decided to come home.
I miss you so much , Nanu.🤍
❤11
I was a leaver.
My friendships were never long, never lasting more than a month, two, or six. A single act of disrespect would end that friendship. I have always been a leaver. I never cared about anybody. I never apologized to anybody. I only cared about my mental peace. I was a person with self-respect. I never expected anything from anybody. I would cut them off at the first sign of disrespect. I wouldn't wait for an apology from them or expect a reunion.
But with you, I stayed. I stayed for a year or more. And it was one-sided. You always disrespected me, and I loved you. You never loved me, never liked me, but lied. You only cared about how I looked and never cared about my emotions. Still, I stayed. I came back to you again and again. I apologized for things I had never done wrong. Yet I stayed. I accepted all the disrespect. I loved you despite the person you were. You have always been the worst to me. Yet I stayed.
I lost myself in loving you. I lost myself completely. I lost the self-respect I had for myself. I don't feel like myself anymore. I haven't felt like myself in a long time, ever since I met you. I feel lost. I have surely removed you from my life because it was enough. I was tired, too, of apologizing again and again, shedding tears even though you never cared about them.
But I don't miss you anymore; I just miss myself before I met you. I want to be that person again. I miss the version of myself I was before I met you. I miss having compassion for myself, just the way I had before I met you.
My friendships were never long, never lasting more than a month, two, or six. A single act of disrespect would end that friendship. I have always been a leaver. I never cared about anybody. I never apologized to anybody. I only cared about my mental peace. I was a person with self-respect. I never expected anything from anybody. I would cut them off at the first sign of disrespect. I wouldn't wait for an apology from them or expect a reunion.
But with you, I stayed. I stayed for a year or more. And it was one-sided. You always disrespected me, and I loved you. You never loved me, never liked me, but lied. You only cared about how I looked and never cared about my emotions. Still, I stayed. I came back to you again and again. I apologized for things I had never done wrong. Yet I stayed. I accepted all the disrespect. I loved you despite the person you were. You have always been the worst to me. Yet I stayed.
I lost myself in loving you. I lost myself completely. I lost the self-respect I had for myself. I don't feel like myself anymore. I haven't felt like myself in a long time, ever since I met you. I feel lost. I have surely removed you from my life because it was enough. I was tired, too, of apologizing again and again, shedding tears even though you never cared about them.
But I don't miss you anymore; I just miss myself before I met you. I want to be that person again. I miss the version of myself I was before I met you. I miss having compassion for myself, just the way I had before I met you.
❤5