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I ended my relationship with my ex almost 2 years ago on bad term, but out of nowhere I am having this thought or felt heavy on my heart. I wanted to check on her but I don't want to reopen an old wound. What do you think should I do?

#Melancholy #Relationship
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Another Almost Roll

As I sit here again, frustrated by my plug who was suppose to diliver my drugs last night for me to watch porn and jack off to girls that will never show any interest in me. I contemplate what all this means.

What am I scared of? What is all this really? And do I care ? In all honesty I do care. I just wanted to have great sex and be beautiful but apparently that's very expensive. People keep telling me life ain't easy and that everyone struggles, but then I wonder.....if everyone knew this then why do people keep having kids?

It is here now I realize the answer which is loneliness. Life is so bad and people need a reason to keep doing it. Otherwise they would have nothing to suffer for. And apparently I'm the reason for some deadbeat lawyer and some illiterate 19 year old to get together and find a reason to not put a rope around their necks.

The real fear now is being poor and having to beg people for money. Did I wake up too late to the realities of adulthood? Have I masturbated too much to trans porn? Or is this just a result of me spending too many hours in front of my computer watching the matrix on directors commentray, waiting to have a 'eureka' moment, that's gonna finally make all this make sense to me.

The only thing I learned so far is that, this is all about survival. Ultimately in the end people just don't wanna die. Everything else is cope.

In the end, all I want is to have sex with beautiful women and have the world like me. And then maybe be white and not black. Also maybe be Superman too. But I'll never have any of that.

They say suicide is unforgivable but murder is if you really repent. I wonder why. When I ask my dads they tell me its cause your life is not urs but belongs to God and ergo you can't take it and so its wrong. But when you take someone else's life he may forgive u? Hmm something is fishy here.....

Suicide is unforgivable cause when you do it.... You spit on the dillusion and suffering of everyone else. You show them that there is an easy way out, but everyone is scared to look down that aisle. In the end we do this shit for eachother.

I think about all the girls I wanted to fuck in high school. I genuinely wonder what the sex would be like. Maybe then I'd be a winner.

Sometimes I wonder about who I don't think about fucking ......and laugh!

I also think about the hoes that love hozier.....performative!

Bathroom is getting pumped today, as I sit here, smelling the feacal matter and toxins that come out of our household, I wonder if terds are psychic waste and if all your bad emotions and ruined orgasms and frustrations and secret cigarette addiction are somehow embedded in your shit. And the sewer is a giant reservoir full of that part of you that you never wanted to face. The part that makes you feel like your going crazy when your home alone on a Wednesday and its 7:pm

I'll never be a poet. Shit I won't even be on Sefu show on EBS. But I bet there is that one girl, with low self esteem who would sleep with me, until she realizes she can do better and leaves. Ugh.... Dating is hard. U know what else is hard? Me for Me. Nails.

#Relationship #Adult #Agitation
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Hey Unihorse 🦄

I need to vent. My name is M. I would like to express some feelings that have been weighing on me. It has been four months since my marriage, and I am experiencing emotional distress due to my husband's difficulties with intimacy. He often loses his erection when we are about to engage in sexual activity, and he rarely initiates intimacy approximately once every three days. When I attempt to initiate, he tends to reject me. This situation has left me feeling confused, rejected, and longing for a deeper connection. I can't help but wonder: does this mean he doesn't desire me or is not attracted to me?

#Melancholy #Relationship #Agitation
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I have a question.

So I'm a 4th year university student and I have a girlfriend. We're the same age, come from similar family backgrounds and all that.

The thing I'm struggling with is...she's broke. Like...can't even pay for taxi broke. And before anyone comes for me I come from the same kind of family. The difference is I work while I'm in college, so at least I have enough to cover my own expenses.

She doesn't work. She just... exists. Sometimes she'll leave the house with literally no money, fully expecting that either I'll pay for her taxi and food or one of her friends will. Honestly I find it so embarrassing.

I'm not expecting her to be rich but at some point shouldn't an adult at least try to be responsible for themselves? It feels less like she's struggling financially and more like she's just gotten comfortable treating everyone around her like a backup wallet.

Do you think I should confront her about it? Because at this point, I'm starting to think I'm dating potential instead of an actual functioning adult. I didn't realize "having money for your own taxi" was setting the bar too high.

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I honestly havent left my room in like two weeks and I dont have anyone to talk to so Im just typing this out because my head is just spinning. before I left the country for school I was talking to this girl and my life was a complete mess back then, I was broke as hell and just so insecure but she just latched onto me and I ended up doing all this stupid stuff I would never normally do. like I hate the bus but I was taking this awful 2 hour bus ride every single weekend just to sit on her couch and do nothing, I kept wrecking my sleep schedule staying up til 3 am and just to keep a conversation going with her. I remember sitting on that bus feeling so annoyed wondering why the hell am I even doing this because I kept telling myself we had no future and I was gonna end it anyway, so it made zero sense why I was putting myself through all that for a girl I was planning to drop. but eventually I just felt like such a loser next to her so I kept pushing her away and telling her I litereally had nothing to offer, I gave her that bullshit line about how I was doing it for her own good. she would just cry and say she didnt care about money or any of that and she just wanted me to let her in, but then I got accepted to study abroad and just used it as an easy way out. I told her things were going off the rails and she was just a distraction, and when she just wanted to talk and understand why I was acting so cold I just ghosted her and ignored her messages and eventually blocked her on absolutely everything so I could force myself to move on. And for a while I really thought I did, I was over there for school and I just put my head down and focused on getting my degree and my life sorted, just put her out of my mind and honestly thought I was over it. but I moved back recently and I was at this family gathering just sitting there having a normal day and my cousin casually brought her up, just randomly said it was such a shame what happened to her. I just looked at him and he told me she took her own life a year ago while I was away. I went completely numb. I quietly made an excuse and left early and came home and I honestly havent left the house since. the pain doesnt even feel like normal sadness it just feels like my chest is hollowed out and empty. I cant eat and I cant sleep, I just lie here in the dark imagining how different things would be if I had just given us a chance. I keep replaying every single time she begged me to just let her in and I just selfishly shut the door in her face. She was brave enough to want to risk everything for us and I wish I was as brave. I keep hearing my own voice telling her I cant give her what she wants and it litereally eats me alive, I just stare at the ceiling for hours trying to figure out how I could be so cruel to the one person who actually saw me when I had absolutely nothing. I feel like I killed the person I loved the most just because I was an insecure coward. I keep hallucinating my phone buzzing and I immediately check every app thinking its a text from her even though I know shes gone, my brain just wont accept it. I would give litereally anything to just go back in time and accept whatever she said, to just agree to everything she asked and do anything for her, I would take back every single excuse I made. The sickest part is looking back now I realize the whole time I was abroad grinding for my degree, I was subconsciously just trying to become a guy that actually deserved her. I thought I was moving on but I was really just trying to build a life I wasnt embarrassed to offer her. and now I got the degree and the life I thought I wanted and Im just rotting in silence because shes gone and its completely my fault. Everything I did feels like it was for nothing. I dont see any hope for myself. I hate who I am. I hate what I did. I hate how much of a coward I am. I want her back so bad. I want to hear her voice again. I want her to scream at me again. I just want her back.

#Relationship
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Hey y'all just a random guy here about to be 27 soon. i wanted to share my experience for those who might relate to it and let it out too
So here is the thing I've been in in relationships,situationships, and casual random dates, but i can't seem to be enough for what the game requires. Lately I've stopped all those efforts and tried to focus on work chirash shit got real and those randoms wave loneliness started to become a tsunami and all i can do about it is finding something to make myself busy with and yet it still grows stronger. You might say meeh couldn’t be me believe it or not you will be cause i used to say that too. a little bit of advice for the younger ones' please hold on to the woman you cherish and love no friendships and this casual thing dont last forever it will end someday and you will find yourself standing in the middle of the road and asking yourself when did starting to fell off. Might come back soon with more until then goodbye.

#Friendship #Family #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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ሴቶችዬ ዛሬ እስኪ ስለ ቁመት ላውራችሁ::
Fyi (I am 1.83 so this is not a jealousy post)
most women now a days state they want to date or marry a guy who is equals to 1.80 or above.
Over years when I go to any public places in Addis, I mostly noticed tall men are rare, e.g in taxi ሰልፍ, group of 20-25 men, ብዙ ግዜ 3-5 men are tall from that crowd including myself. Ofc, there were exceptions sometimes.
So I decided to do the maths.
Ethiopian men average height 1.70 (even ethio airlines is set to that standard)
desired height for the trend 1.78 or above
Addis population is around 5.5 M, women are slightly higher but let's be kind and round that to 50%
From total population of men, around 15% are 1.78 or above
Narrowing it with age (18-40) = it will become 7.2% rounding to 8%
If 3% of them are Married= it would be around 5% for the tall singles.
18-40 (37% of total population / 1M women ) from total 2.75M = if 50 % are single which be 500K single women

If 20% of the single tall men are financial stable due to difficult economic status

Resulting 20 to 25 women competing with 1 tall single financial stable man.

If we add being handsome or religion or any vibe, the man starting to be like unicorn.
Maybe, 20 - 50 tall handsome men are already dm to you every day but don't you think 90% of them wants to smash and not to settle. Cause most tall men knew they have demand in the market so they are using it to be a fck boy. Which most women here vent about. There are exceptional good God fearing tall rich men, they exist. And Normally women in avg are shorter. So most men with 1.70 are already taller than most women. But,
if women are so obsessed lifting up the requirements of height way above. it is like narrowing the probability of finding the other qualities from these men.

Superficial ለሆኑ ወንዶችም, i will be back for part 2 with another maths. 😅

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Heyyy
( i just saw a girl post the same as mine so I thought why not give it a try😌) anyways I’m 22F in need of new friends. Not gonna lie, I have an old friend group, but we’ve kind of outgrown each other.completely banzegagam we meet call mnamn but still you know…. Anyways I need 😭 friends “girl” friends not boy beka genuine yehone abren maturedm weirdm act mareg mnchl also like someone who can grab coffee or drinks(I promise betam techi adlewm don’t judge😂) or zm beln walk eyaregn slnefelf simple hangout ke class mels or andande yetekabdede😁 aynet mareg mnchl dressed mnamn honen aleaaa the girl vibes bcha positive genuine yehone girl friendship amrognall not toxic pls ena if you’re in need of new friends like me ofcourse😂 pls dm you know… new circle aykefam😌

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Wtf is wrong with men these days?
They all don't like "going outside "
They all invite you over at their "house"
They all want to "watch a movie "
They all want "home cooked meal"

What happened to have coffee, let's have dinner at some restaurant or even have a damn walk?

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I don’t even know where to start for the girls how did you get over that first love in you 20s

#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
የማደርገው ግራ ስለገባኝ ነው የምፅፍላችሁ የእውነት እርዳታችሁ ያስፈልገኛል ብቸኛ ነኝ ከጎኔ የሚቆም ማንም የለኝም ብቻዬን ነው የምታገለው በጣም አቃተኝ ምን እንደማደርግ ግራ ገባኝ ማርያምን ግራ ገባኝ ለፋሁ ለፋሁ አቃተኝ የመጨረሻ አማራጭ ብዬ የያዝኩት እራሴን ማጥፋት ነው ክርስቶስን ሁሉ ነገር ድክም ብሎኛል ሰው ወዶ አደለም እራሱ ላይ የሚጨክነው እኮ የእውነት ግራ ቢገባው ሚያረገው እንደኔ ግራ ሲገባው ነው እርዱኝ በማርያም የእራብን ስሜት የሚያውቀው የራበው ሰው ብቻ ነው እዚህ ውስጥ ተቸግራችሁ የምታውቁ ግን እግዚሀብሄር ችግራችሁን ያስረሳችሁ በብዙ ድካም ብቸኝነት አልፋችሁ እዚህ ያደረሳችሁ እናንተ ትረዱኛላችሁ እባካችሁ ያላችሁን እርዱኝ በማርያም እኔም እንደናንተ ይህን ቀን አልፌ ሰው ልሁን እርዱኝ🙏

አዋሽ ባንክ 01335574253700
ቤተል ፍቅሬ

#Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Guys how do you move on from someone like it has been 3 years but i still think about the same person

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Hey guys endat nachu ena mn meselachu i can't stop thinking about money all day from dusk till dawn bewnet yehen milachu yetena adelem beka kenun mulu slegenzeb nw masebew am a 3rd year uni student ena as u know ahun break lay nen ena kenun mulu beka esun maseb honual siraye btw sira bizu yelegnm alfo alfo sigegn nw enji kuami sira wef ena the worst part i lost all my flagot for girls lemn betammm mitamer mesmerizing konjo set athonm endederow megerem lemawrat mefeleg mnamn wef plus sew siaweragn hula slegenzeb kalhone yastelagnal mnamn ena mndnw mareg yalebegn beziew keketelku yehone crime hula lisera chilalew genzeb lemagegnet😭😭😭

#Adult
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Hey endet nachu i want an advice on something there was this guy i met in tg we talked for a year and he was very handsome and had a good personality we never met for a year but i found out we were in the same campus the whole time we vibed alott and one day he insisted me to meet on some cafe and i agreed i couldn't meet him that day bc my phone died all of the sudden but luckily i saw him from distance and called his name we hugged but class was about to start so we couldn't talk much
I was happy that i met him
And i thought there will be future possibility that we will meet again but nothing after that
he then one day texted me happily and told me he met someone and had a good time with them i was thinking of random date but he slept with that person
It has been 2 weeks since we stopped talking but i always wonder why did he tell me that

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Am I the bad person in this?
We are a group of three friends and have known each other all our lives, but let's focus on this girl. Let's call her Selamawit.
Throughout our friendship, Selamawit always acted like she was more of a friend to our other friend than I was. At some point in elementary and high school, I decided to mingle with other people, and eventually I became closer with the new people than with them. But the two of them always remained friends.
Fast forward, we became close again in 12th grade, and then university separated us. Here, note that I have always been the friend who does things and reports back, and never asks for advice in advance. During university, I tried to catch up with both of them, but life got in the way.
We all met new people and made new friends, but unlike us, Selamawit started dating this guy who became her whole world, and the only time she called was to ask for some cash. I was cool with it, but by our senior years I was so broke that I barely had enough for food and necessities.
Fast forward again, we all graduated and ended up in the same city and stuff, and suddenly she started claiming that she had cut off her campus friends because we were her real friends. She started blaming us for having other people we hung out with.
I am a depressed person, so I have cancelled plans with her multiple times. She never understood how I was as a grown-up and always took it as me not wanting to do things with her or preferring my other friends. I feel like she wanted me because our other friend was no longer available, making me the replacement.
So, a few months ago, I tried to get the issue out in the open, and our other friend said the reason she got close to new people was that she felt Selamawit was only available when she wanted some cash. This broke Selamawit, and she cut ties with her. She said she felt like she was being judged because of her financial status.
By the time I tried explaining that, from our point of view, it felt like that, she got offended with me too. I called her a couple of times, and after seeing her attitude, I just continued with my life. The thing is, I had multiple shit things that I was going through, so I did not have any extra space to comfort her or push her to talk. I still felt the problem was her not trying to see things from our point of view.
Fast forward to today, she texted me for money. I refused and told her that she hadn't been a friend to me for a while, and I was done.
Selamawit said she was just testing me. 😂
Glad I failed!

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hello am female 22
Here's my vent i got in to this relationship month ago smth I love this guy alot but I dont feel the same way alakm I feel like he's pretending or smth kemr ena demo idk where it comes from gn I am developing fear for him beka not yihe desta mistemagh ferhat its like lejoch eyalen mnferaw ferhat he hv dated alot of girls before me ena I feel like hes pretending or smth I cant feel hes presence with me rly idk what to do 😭

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Protecting others isn't about being thanked it's about carrying burdens they will never see i have watched the people i love live peacefully😊 unaware of what it cost and that was enough sometimes saving others means letting them believe the worst about you it means letting them hate you while you continue to love them in silence that is the choice i made a choice that took everything from me... except the hope that their future would be brighter than my own🙂 not every hero is remembered some of us disappear quietly☺️ knowing we saved them even though they would never save us...

#Friendship #Family #Relationship
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Hello Hello, hope you all are doing fine as you’re.

I'm a highschooler from Ethiopia. Been following this channel for a while. Normally I havent made a post before and especially personal stuff but I'm in a real tuff like very tuff spot and just need to vent, maybe get some advice or even help I don’t know.

So here's the deal: I've been grinding for years like an entire years of highschool to get into a US university for some social studies or tech major. Somehow to my very surprise I‘ve managed to get waitlisted at Yale University and Columbia University even though I got rejected later. (hell I cried my ass off when I first saw the waitlist letter because like was I this close?😭) My friends are going to prestigious schools like MIT, Princeton and harvard and I'm literally saying goodbyes to them rn which is a proud bro moment and a bit sad actually

Ena yihen amet degmo I am all in, but the problem is I need to like have to take the SAT exam to get really confident in my application and to stand competitive like others (my friends had it which I didn’t have one and was applying test optional schools) The fee is $111 = 18,000 in birr. That's more than my family can afford rn which is so sad I swear. My mom is a sole provider in the family and she’s already drowning in my university expenses. Asking her for this degmo feels very ridiculous. Imagine asking someone who can barely pay for economy class to book business class, insane right? Yeah man I know I know

I already have strong grades, exceptional honors, crazy extracurriculars, a decent essay just everything except this one exam. Imagine standing at the finish line but a single cost blocks you. That's me on God

Anyway If you're reading this and can help out even a little or point me to someone who can, it'll literally change my life. I’m venting this because it literally is my last chance. If not, no worries I just wanted to get it off my chest. You all keep making cool vents lately tho. Stay up⚡️

#School #Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey everyone um I need you guys to help me out on something. First time venting and I'm an IT 3rd yr student ena I don't code mnm malet nw ena I'm not even trying and I'm starting to get stressed dmo bahun seat rasu ala temre bcharis will I get sra even internship? Idk ena mn lmar like cyber security eyasebku nw cuz bzu sew vibe coder eyehone silehone ena gn idk from where to start idk my interest bka hule mechenek bcha nw sraye dmo since its IT people always say ur gonna be a teacher ena pls cyber security mimar sew or slesu miyak sew pls let me know in the comments. I really need this help me yemtchlu

#School
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It's incredibly frustrating for a 26-year-old dominant sadist  man who can't seem to find women interested in BDSM. Despite putting in the effort to communicate clearly, establish trust, and understand the nuances of a healthy BDSM relationship, it often feels like a dead end. The dating scene can be tough already, but adding the layer of BDSM makes it even harder. There's a constant battle against stereotypes and misconceptions, and it's exhausting having to explain that dominance isn't about being abusive or controlling in a harmful way. Instead, it's about providing a safe space for a partner's desires and boundaries. It's disheartening to be misunderstood or judged before even getting a chance to show who you really are and what you stand for in a BDSM context. It often feels like there's a lack of understanding and acceptance, which only adds to the frustration and loneliness.

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey Dad,
I know you'd probably never read this, and even if you did, I don't think you'd care. So I'll just say it here.
For 24 years, all I ever wanted was for you to love me the way you loved my sisters. Everything I did was to make you proud. I even studied the degree you wanted because I thought maybe then you'd finally see me.
Maybe being the only child you had out of wedlock was enough for you to decide I wasn't worth much. But I never asked to be born.
I still remember being at university, so sick I couldn't eat for days. My friend had to call you because I couldn't even help myself. I'll never forget that day.
You had money. You still do. You spoiled my four sisters, drove them to college every morning, gave them everything they needed. Meanwhile, I couldn't even afford a taxi. Sometimes I'd beg you for money, and if you sent anything, it'd be a little once in a while just to get by.
It's been a year since I graduated. I'm still unemployed. I'm sleeping on someone else's couch. I never thought I'd know what it feels like to be broke while having a rich father.
The crazy part is you could never deny I was your son. I look exactly like you.
Maybe that's why I've promised myself something. When I have a family, my kids will never have to wonder if their dad loves them. They'll never have to earn my attention or beg for my approval. My wife will never feel alone while I'm still alive. I'll give them everything I spent my whole life looking for.
I'll make it out of this. I have to.
I just wish I knew what it felt like to have a father.

#MentalIllness #Family
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