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Hey! This is doc, under 25M

This is my second time venting here. Had spoken about the issue of dealing with a dismissive avoidant back then.

How are you guys doing? Been nearly 6 months time, flies indeed.

I came here to share insights on how the past 6 month been post breakup with my former DA. It has been one hell of a journey, my learning curve about human psychology, defectiveness-schema, attachment theory and basic human behavior have went parabolic. I tried to find answers to what I had went through and make sense of it.

Love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, this is simply a harsh truth, no matter how much you love a person, Love alone will never been enough. People need to see each other without shame, judgement and disappointment. Being vulnerable, being accountable and commitment to keep one’s word even when things don’t look good are the core stone.

Shared vulnerability, shared emotional accountability and Commitment in the face of chaos will do more to keep one’s relationship than a mere love. Love without sacrifice/Pure effort is just emotional attachment. Loving someone isn’t easy at all. It requires you to be seen and to be vulnerable , which has its own risk but there is no way other than this.


Unfortunately, my former GF truly failed to understand this, She for some reason, didn’t choose to be seen. She rather dismiss what happened as “ ፈጣሪ አልፈቀደም።” than to take accountability and be a better person. Which honestly is a disappointment for me to say the least, but I understand her PoV, her brain 🧠 had adapted a survival mechanism which says “ I do not need anyone” which in return pushes people when ever someone is close to them.

Why do DA people punish those who truly love them? She literally pushed me to the edge just because I genuinely wanted to be with here and trust me, I try my best to be emotional mature as much as possible.

You see, underneath their brains is a core wound. A wound that is created by a deep belief that they are unlovable, unworthy of love and something wrong with me. So, whenever people get close with them, they panic. They assume, if people get to close to me, they will see I am defective, unloveable and unworthy, so this will never ever end well, so before they ditch me, let me ditch them, they will eventually ditch me so why wait😂😂


This is exactly what happened with me, I am wishing her all the best and hope she heals, cause she definitely need it

I have moved on but this is interesting

If you guys want to tell you more about this, like this and I will share

#Friendship #MentalIllness #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
ሰላም ሰዎች አማክሩኝ
በቅርብ የማገኘው ገንዘብ አለ በቃ እቁብ በአሪፉ ይደርሰኛል ለእናቴ ለቤተሰብ መጀመር የፈለኩትን ቢዝነስ ነግሪያቸው ደስተኛ ነበሩ,, እናም የቤተሰቦቼ ቤት ውስጥ የተወሰነ መስተካከል ያለበት ነገር እንዳለ አውቃለው ነገር ግን አሁን ከቤት ልወጣ እንደሆነ እና ራሴን ችዬ መኖር እንደምጀምር ስነግራት ለእናቴ በጣም ተናገረችኝ እኛን እዚህ ቤት ጥለህን እኔ ለአንተ እንዲ ራስህን ታወጣለህ ምን ምን ሆኜ ብቻ ፀያፍ ነገር ተናገረችኝ ከልጅነቴ ስሰማው ስላደኩ it's ok ብዬ አለፍኩ, ግን እኔ ሀሳቤ የነበረው አሁን የማገኘውን ብር ሙሉ ለሙሉ ባሉት ክፍተቶች ላይ ካዋልኩ ይሄን ብር ድጋሚ ለማግኘት ብዙ ጊዜ ይወስድብኛል , ነገር ግን ከስራዬ ጎን ለጎን ያሰብኩትን ቢዝነስ ብጀምር ከማገኘው ገቢ ቀስ በቀስ ነገሮችን አስተካክላለው ሀሳቤም እንደዛ ነበር ላስረዳት ሞከርኩ ሌላ ታሪክ ተፈጠረ ነገር ግን ይህን ሁሉ ያለችው ቤት ልከራይ ነው ስላልኳት እንጂ መጀመሪያ ሀሳቤን ስለ ቢዝነሱ ስነግራት ደስተኛ ነበረች,,ዕድሜዬ 30ዎቹ መጀመሪያ ነው ጓደኞቼ ሁሉም አግብተዋል ወልደዋል እኔ ብቻ ነኝ የቀረውት እሱም አልተሰማኝም ነገር ግን የእናቴ ቤት ልከራይ ነው ማለት በዚህ ልክ እንዲ ያናግራል?? እስኪ ትንሽ ሀሳብ ስጡኝ

#Friendship #Family #Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Why do guys get bored(ghost) after talking to for 2 or 3 weeks only ?is the problem ours or theirs I mean it happens to me several times and I get bored of meeting new ones because it will end up the same.the fact that I fall for them easily and gets difficult to get over .i swear it’s so frustrating god.

#Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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25f
Ask my ID mtlu get a life pls 🙄
Sorry for the explicit words 😅

Idk wtf am looking for
So the thing is I've such a wonderful friends so let me tell you abt them ...... They r so loyal, respectful, ፈጣሪን miferu, really smart ( Doctors ), honest, lovely bcha istg ማወጣላቸው yhe new mibal እንከን yelem. They are super religious like Orthodox honew zefen alsemam types all the minor ፆም ሚፆሙ, and well all of them have never kissed, date rasu mewtat ahun new yejemerut esunm bemekera mind u we r the same age🙄
Me.... Oh well እራስ መካብ endaymesl gn i think am good to the most part i treat people with respect,, I'm loyal, i can def say my friends love me and the alway tell me that I'm such a good friend kind, motherly😅and ልበ ንፁ ( i swear these are their words )
But what am i that they are not I'm not sexually pure ( I'm a virgin by hymen but i mean 🙄) i go out on dates endefeleku, i makeout ( lip count =3, boob count =2 ), i talk dirty stuff, and i don't have a religion ( used to be super Protestant 💪) beka my lust and religion አልባነት are stg that i can't control ( do i want to control milew lela ጥያቄ new🙄) yeah to some extent i wish i was somehow strict with my sexuality bcz it had made me give myself away to ppl that didn't deserve me gn beka i can't I'm very sexual ( i owe the little reservation that i have to my hymen....... Thank u dear hymen i swear i owe u a lot 💋) bcz I'd rather die than have penetrative sex before marriage.and the religion oh well tbh i wish i believe in God but yea it's impossible

So u might ask how r u getting along with these people? 😅
Oh well i have never lied about anything abt me gn i just don't tell them i mean they know that my lips are not virgin as theirs and i got some Qs regarding God gn they don't know the full blown me. Lenegeru on one knows the actual me except for my brother who is my verrrry tanash, እያስመሰልኩ adelem gn if u just know me kelay I'm a normal person i even go to church ( how i loveeeee my church😘), listen to Protestant song, I'm really reserved with guys that I'm not romantically associated with( my friends are more friendly wz guys tbh😅), I'm superrr calm like everone beza new miyakegn, sefer wst my mom'n አቤት ልጅሽ endet chewa nech ቀና ብላ sew ataym new miluat, kebet alotam esp now that I've graduatedma chrashhhh 😅, i have never been to clubs in my life, no concerts mnamn, no smoking, drinking, i don't cuss at all in front of people, anything beka my 2 problems are religion and lust
So why am i venting? Well day by day am losing a sense of belonginness wz them they haven't done anything it's just when we hang out mnamn they talk about a let's say a girl that made out with someone and omggggg the judgment 😣 እና እኔ ምሰራውን biyaqu mn lilu new jesus😅 i mean i don't do too much gn compared to them I'm....

Ena ewnet eyedeberegn new o feel like I'm ማስመሰሊንግ mnamn ena beka eyechenekegn new i love and respect them so much tho

And lela neger omg they never approve the guys that i like or crush on like never i admit am always into ማይሆኑ red flag people and i can't help it

Anyways any girl in the same situation? Ewnet I'd really appreciate someone i can relate to😐

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey guy I’m 27 years old female
I have known this guy for over a year at the first I did know he like me but over time when we spend time I notice and one day when were at the club he kissed me we talkand it was all great he told me he loved me kissed me and everything but after a week or so he started acting weird I didn't ask him but he distance him self days pass and some drama happened with my sister and so we stop commitment at all after 4 months I saw him some place and we talk and everything getting better we getting cool again but this time his different he's not I know him before (he make new friends)6@ but still me go out to cinema and we had some time together and everything but the thing is after that day he never told me he love me or we are together we hooked up and everything I love him but I don't know what he want?? I don't want to ask him because I’m afraid he will say i’m not ready for a relationship meanwhile I can't stop myself from to see him and hanging out with him should I talk to him about what's going on or follow his direction or act like him?? (He showed me some romance thing but we are not together but we do everything couple)
What should I do??? I don't want to lose him but he give me mixing signals

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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26 F
Am i the only habesha antinatalist out there? So anti-natalism is the concept that life inherently had suffering woven into it and so, it is not morally acceptable to bring an non-consenting innocent beings onto this world where suffering is guaranteed and existence ultimately ends with death.
Living in Ethiopia with this ideology is hard sometimes🥲 i feel like an outcast. Explaining it to family and friends feels like talking to a wall and my dating life well it is almost nonexistent. I always wonder especially in this day and age in Ethiopia, why people continue having kids and don't think twice about it?? 😭 it is very slefish and irresponsible imo.

#Family #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey guys, please no negative energy here only leave a comment if you have something helpful to say. Thanks

So, there is this girl I’ve been making eye contact with for a while ena I finally got the opportunity to talk to her, and we are officially in the talking stage. This is actually my first time trying to date or like pull a girl, and i am like noticing that there is a sign on her side. and we’ve only been talking for a few days, but I really want to ask her out on a date. What do you guys think? Do you have any recommendations or advice on how I should ask her out? Like should i ask her i.g and ask on a text or should i still keep talking through phone for a while if so how long talking stage is enough to ask for a date ? brodies help your brother🙂 Thanks!

#School #Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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sooo guys mn meselachu yemeslegnal beka single hogne memote nw😭 wey gudee sometimes rasen sasbes do i have" አይነጥላ" type shit attache alhonem fkr ayzegnm menamn kemanm gar endew belolegn relationship bejemr rasu the next day nebse letweta nw metdersew gurllll run out of this thing 🏃‍♀‍➡️nw melew lerase keza demo i feel sooo bad lerasem abrogn lihon leneberewm sew rejem gize bekoyem ena bedemb attached behon rasu it's sooo easy for me to let someone go and move on min yibalal eshi ehe😭 hulum sew lebe dendana nesh nw milegn liredagn ayfelgem enem felgew eko adelem becha do i need a psychiatrist or ፀበል menamn aleza ዘሬን ሳልተካ lemot nw or it's Normal🙄helllll nah normal demo lihon aychelem ena mn telalachu a BIG apology kerezeme 😊
FYI demo i don't have any trauma or family things menamn

#HealthComplications #Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hi
So, i know this guy for 3 years mnmn ena he's married gn married endehone sew behave ayaregm i know his wife on tiktok ena hes been asking me tp become hes 2nd wife ena i said no obviously gn bka sera guday yagnagenal ena gedeta bka mistun sayat tasazngalech balfew she reposted a post that says " cheers balachen kerasu belay lemiweden ena lemiyakbren" mtsm hes 35 and am 20 imagine and ofc be 16 or 17 amet jemro new makew gn bka yedewlal setota yelkal mnserabt bota (family business) atakm esua bengrat dmo tedarachews becha wellahu ya'elm.

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Aselamu alykum
20F
Yalagebachu wendoch like le tedar emotionally, financially zegeju honachu gn yalagebachu how do u get ur spouse ofc dua enargalen tahajjudm yenoral leyl ale gn kza betchemari in real life amd yagebachuts dua endaregachutlat aynet set new yagebachut?

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey, I just wanna vent about something that’s been lowkey bothering me. I’m 21F, almost 22, and I’m a university student. I still have a long way to go in my career, so I’ve been trying to focus on that and sacrifice other things, you know?
The thing is, I’ve never been in a real relationship. And before anyone assumes stuff, it’s not like I’m lonely or that no one’s interested in me 😭 I do get approached in real life, and I’ve had crushes and talking stages before, but nothing ever became serious.
I remember one talking stage where this guy was begging me to be his girlfriend even though we never went on a date or even talked in person. He just saw me at church. And honestly, I don’t really trust online guys like that, and meeting someone I only know from chatting terrifies me.
I know it’s not because of my looks, because guys do approach me in public sometimes. One time I was walking to gebi and this guy said, “ለከፋ አይደለም ግን honestly you’re so pretty,” and I literally thought it was lakefa at first 😭 I got nervous and tried to change direction he didn't follow or try anything never saw him again.
I also think I have avoidant issues. Like one time I had a huge crush on this guy, and after a while I think I started giving signals or energy or whatever 😭 then he started getting closer to me… and what did I do? I ran every time I saw him. Maryamen 😭
I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want a relationship, but at the same time I avoid every chance I get . Sometimes I wonder if it’s insecurity or fear or something deeper. Like… who am I waiting for exactly?
Even people in my neighborhood have started making “you’re next” wedding jokes, saying maybe next year and stuff. And I’m just there like 🤨

#Family #HealthComplications #Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Mejemerya lay kemeret tenesta enleyay alech denegetku mnamn ene yane yehone suprise mnamn lareg tef tef eyalku neber bergit 1 -3ken ghost argiyat neber keza behuala lemn erefi blat alsemachim hedech keza block aregechegne behulum social media keza ke2 samnt mnamn behuala  story areku slerase staff mnamn neger keza sewoch storye lay reply karegut ga flirty message melalak jemerku keza yesuwa  guadegna  weym esuwa endehonu betyakewechuwa leyehuwachew ena sle esua setykegne mnamn endebakene gize slekoterkut r/ship wust alneberkum mnamn beye bzu washew esuwan lemanaded keza guadegnawa negne  atgebatm wusha mnamn yesdb aynet weredebgne koy esuwa kehedech kome melemen nw yalebgne move on mareg nw yalebgne message telakelgne awerahu bzu washehu  demo mebte nw beguadegnochuwam mnamn enen block argewgnal mn atefaw koy kome lekr ede koy setoch alfelgm blachu kehedachu behuala lemndn nw drama mtserut???

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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For God, for St. Gabriel,
Your son is unwell, uncomfortable here, living in struggle. I want to change myself and try to write my future with my own hands, but I feel trapped here, surrounded by haters trying to bring me down. I am circled by devils and hatred, and I have no clue how to defend myself.
I tried everything. I called upon the names of all the angels, even You, God, but no one seems to reply. It has been four years. You know I have no one to rely on, but You left me alone, and my life completely changed. I experienced deep trauma that may stay with me for a lifetime.
Now I feel like I am at the end of everything. Every hope I had in You is vanishing. If You are not around when I need You the most, then why is Your presence in this world?
St. Gabriel, I do not want to speak badly about God for the rest of my life, but I am losing everything. I am losing myself every day, digging my own funeral deeper every day, and my time feels like it is getting closer to the finish line.
There will be no cross on my neck. There will be no God’s name in my mouth. There will be nothing at all.
But before that happens, please save me. Help me. Time is running.
One day, I may decide.

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I believe in Ghosts

Because unresolved things, ideas, passions are ghosts. They haunt me nearly everyday, and I visibly wince when they thrash in my mind.

They're literally abominations; undeveloped and decaying, they float in the void of the subconscious and occasionally break through into the conscious to take a gulp of air, and then they sink back again.

Sometimes they escape the gravity of the subconscious and come as a band of headless men and women, launching themselves against the inside of the skull.

For the sake of my sanity, I should probably give them good closure; it's not fun having a haunted mind.

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Why are we here👀
I mean exist maregachen tergum alew?
‘Yetftrnlet ngr ale’ or Lelam meknyat yenoral gn esu meaning berasu yerasachen aydlem

Exist aregen suffer aregen success agegnen or suffer eyaregen motn then what? Ik n I believe in genet and seol but what the point

Ene huletunm I mean broke season Ena stable yehonkubachew season och alu ahun yemsgen wede broke temelshalew🤭 but tbh kom blachu as achu tawkalachu

Sometimes bzu tebazu medrenm muluat milew wede mergemt yazenblebgnal

Bezan👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏾 tebazan 👨‍👩‍👦 medren Molanat Ena mn teftre?🤦🏾‍♂️

Our parents lenesu future life(ለመጦ’ር) weledun then yegna life berasu confuse argon enesu belje yalflegnal blew yasbalu enesun blame eyareku aydlem but exist yemadreg yemasdereg hasabu Mnm sense aysetm it’s so boringgg🥴

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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ሰውን judge አላደርግም ለዛም ይመስለኛል ብዙ አይነት ጓደኛ የነበረኝ ሱሰኛ አጫሽ ጠጪ ሌሎች ብዙ አመሎች ያሏቸው ነገር ግን እኔጋ መተው ሁሉንም ይነግሩኛል እነሱም እኔም ይገርመናል ለምን እንደሆነ ግን እኔም እነሱም አናውቅም የእውነት በውስጤም ቢሆን ኮንኛቸው አላውቅም። ልክ እንዳልሆነ እንደ ሚጎዳቸውና ማቆም እንዳለባቸው ከማበረታታት በቀር ..በዚህ ሁሉ ውስጥ ግን እኔ የተለየሁ እንደ ሆንኩ አስብ ነበረ እኔጃ ውስጥ ውስጡን መልአክ እንደሆንኩ ተሰምቶኝ ይሆናል😁, እናሳ አይደለሁም ለካ አንድ ጥግ ላይ እራሴን ወድቃ ባገኛትስ የከፋ አወዳደቅ እንደ ዲያቢሎስ ተፈጠፈጥኩኝ በጣም እንደማላደርገው እርግጠኛ የሆንኩበትን በሃሳቤ መቶ እንኳን የማያውቀውን ተግባር ፈፀምኩ..የተለየሁ መስሎኝ ነበረ ወይም የተለየ አኗኗር ያለኝ ግን ሳልሳሳት አልቀረሁም አዝናለሁ እንግዲህ ብዬ ነበር ያን ማታ የተኛሁት, guss What ደገምኩት
ድሮ ልጅ እያለሁ አስራዎቹ ውስጥ መፅሐፍ ቅዱስ ውስጥ ስለ ሳምሶን ሳነብ ሳምሶን ግን ጅል ነው እንዴ እንዳልኩ አስታውሳለሁ ድክመትህን ንገረኝ እንደ ሌሎች ሰዎች ተራ የምትሆንበት ሚስጥሩ ምንድነው ብላ ስትነዘንዘው አይገባውም እንዴ እያልኩ ሳምሶን ሞኝ ነው በቃ ብዬ ነበር, እኔም ደሊላዬ ጋ ላጥ ላጥ ብዬ እንደዚህ እንደ ቀልድ ልሄድ(ደሞ እኮ እንደ ሳምሶን ፍቅር ቢኖረኝ ጥሩ አልነበረ) ስለዚህ እኔ ከእርሱም የምብስ ጅላጅል መሆኔን አውቂያለሁ። ለሶስተኛ ጊዜ ሄጄ ሌላ የባሰ ችግር ከማምጣቴ በፊት እና ጅላጅልነቴ የማንነቴ አካል እንዳይሆን ሀጥያቴን አምኜ ሳለቅስና ስናዘዝ ስወስን ትዝ አለኝ 2አመት ሊሞላው ነው ይሄ ታሪክ። በእግዚአብሔር ፊት እንዴት እንደዚህ አይነት በደልን  እሰራለሁ ብሎ ማንም በሌለበት ለእግዚአብሔር የታመነውን ዮሴፍን አስታውሼ ቀናሁበት , ዮሴፍ የሰውየውን ሚስት ሀሳብ ቢቀበልና አብሯት ቢተኛ ምን አልባት ንግስናው ቀርቶ ውሽማነት ይሆን ነበር መጨረሻው እናንተ አቋም ግን ከአቅም ይበልጣል አቋሙ አነገሰው ህልሙን ብቻ አጥብቆ ያዘ ፀዴ ፍፃሜ ሆነለት።
ዛሬ ይሄ ሁሉ ትዝ ያለኝ አንድ ፊልም አይቼ በሰውየው ድካም ውስጥ ሁሉ የኔ ድካም እንደ አዲስ ታየኝ, የስጋን ምኞት መከተል መጨረሻው አጉል ስብራት ነው አለ አይደል በቃ አጉል አጉል ለታሪክ የማያምር ሲታሰብ አንጀት የሚያበግን ብቻ ከህይወት ንፅህና ቅድስና ጋር ተያይዞ የእግዚአብሔርን ህግጋት ወደዋለሁ በጣም at the end እግዚአብሔር የለም ብባል (definitely አለ!) እራሱ እሱን አስቤ የኖርኩትን ህይወት ወደዋለሁ።
ግን በትልቁ ያስተዋልኩት እኔም እንደ ሳምሶን ደካማ ሰው መሆኔን በጉብዝናዬ የማልመካ እራሴን በጭራሽ የማላምን አንዳች ብቃት የሌለኝ የእግዚአብሔር ምህረት እና ፀጋ ላይ ወጣትነቴን የጣልኩ አደራ ያልኩኝ ዮሴፍን ሆኜ መጨረስን የምሻ ሰው መሆኔን ነው።

#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
I am a male, specifically twenty-nine years of age. Are you aware of the difficulty inherent in being a virtuous man in contemporary society? Do you comprehend the profound loneliness and sorrow experienced by men? This sentiment is particularly acute for men who are honest, kind, and loving. It remains unclear why many women claim to desire such a man yet reject him upon approach. I assert that most women actually desire a troubled, chaotic man who causes them distress and whom they cannot control, only to fall in love with the very inability to control him, despite their continued attempts. They merely wonder and ponder. Consider the man who avoids drama, shares everything about himself, listens attentively, and expresses love; he often receives the worst treatment and may even be cheated upon. Why is this the case? Ladies, what is the issue? Are you well? Must we be toxic? Please examine yourself and conduct a background check on your own narrative; you are aware of your actions. Furthermore, you know I am correct. Peace ✌️

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
Yealemaweq teg

Juice bet gebeche Strawberry mojito mil anebebku

Teyekwachew, Mojito yelal alcohol alew? Yelewum gen kefelek yezegajal

Keategeb yeteqemetew sewye, ay eswa ema Lene nat

Esu yetegenezebew, alcohol alew beye seteyeq endaynorew yefelekut meslot mehonu new. Macho lemehon demo, alcoholnes legna tewut neber ababalu

Mojito men endehone sayaq, keza ateyayeqe saygebaw erasun lemekab mokere. Yealemawequ teg.

Weynes, gebtot new still endezi yalew? Ene new yalawekut? Aymeslem gena?

#Agitation
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