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I'm so confused like why does people try to show off their powers on ppl who are obviously under them give them task that almost close to impossible why ...I mean I'm male early 20 and its my first job and I worked so hard to get it ans just to give my position to someone else they give me task thats so hard why is everyone rude I mean I'm just confused ...just wanted to vent it out....
#Adult
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I'm so confused like why does people try to show off their powers on ppl who are obviously under them give them task that almost close to impossible why ...I mean I'm male early 20 and its my first job and I worked so hard to get it ans just to give my position to someone else they give me task thats so hard why is everyone rude I mean I'm just confused ...just wanted to vent it out....
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The following are my own quotes or principles am sure u have heard them before but rase experience arge yetm salay yetsfkuwachew nachew and i copy pasted them directly from my diary and i literally live based on them so i wanted to know which one do you share, agree, disagree or any suggestions
1 noone thinks about you as much as you think they do
2 karma is real honey
3 be your self noone really cares
4 always be grateful for everything
5 create happiness for yourself deliberately so that you can be more happy coz happiness attracts and creates more happiness
6 don't complain it's the mother of all misery instead try to see the brightside to everything coz there really is a brightside for everything
7 After all the storm pass you will look back and even thank God that you passed through all those things you were complaining about
8 you are born to be happy believe me noone is born to be sad
9 there are things that you are more perfect than others just because they exceed you in one thing doesn't mean you are a loser at all it means you have to find your gift and work on that
10 slow is indeed fast
11 just be your self trust me
12 no one is a bad person by nature it's the environment and the storms that we go through what make us a bad person so don't judge
13 when someone or a hater judges you for something ask your self what kimd of person he really is do you think Dr Abiy or Elon musk would insult you if you did wrong...NO so just know this person is unconsciously jealous of you coz you r at a place where he wants to be even tho he never admits it
14 kindness is indeed attractive and would make you fall in love so be kind
15 there is always a great lesson in what seems like a " failure "
16 never ever allow someone to disrespect you it's better to be cheated on than disrespected
17 there is someone out there that God created who would love you despite your all imperfections so never ever beg or force someone to like you
18 someone who loves you would never put u in a situation where he could lose you coz think of someone you don't want to lose and would you put them in that situation that they are putting you... NO so just move on KHALAS
19 prioritize non materialistic things like family and friends coz at the end of the day they are all that matter
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I need to vent
The following are my own quotes or principles am sure u have heard them before but rase experience arge yetm salay yetsfkuwachew nachew and i copy pasted them directly from my diary and i literally live based on them so i wanted to know which one do you share, agree, disagree or any suggestions
1 noone thinks about you as much as you think they do
2 karma is real honey
3 be your self noone really cares
4 always be grateful for everything
5 create happiness for yourself deliberately so that you can be more happy coz happiness attracts and creates more happiness
6 don't complain it's the mother of all misery instead try to see the brightside to everything coz there really is a brightside for everything
7 After all the storm pass you will look back and even thank God that you passed through all those things you were complaining about
8 you are born to be happy believe me noone is born to be sad
9 there are things that you are more perfect than others just because they exceed you in one thing doesn't mean you are a loser at all it means you have to find your gift and work on that
10 slow is indeed fast
11 just be your self trust me
12 no one is a bad person by nature it's the environment and the storms that we go through what make us a bad person so don't judge
13 when someone or a hater judges you for something ask your self what kimd of person he really is do you think Dr Abiy or Elon musk would insult you if you did wrong...NO so just know this person is unconsciously jealous of you coz you r at a place where he wants to be even tho he never admits it
14 kindness is indeed attractive and would make you fall in love so be kind
15 there is always a great lesson in what seems like a " failure "
16 never ever allow someone to disrespect you it's better to be cheated on than disrespected
17 there is someone out there that God created who would love you despite your all imperfections so never ever beg or force someone to like you
18 someone who loves you would never put u in a situation where he could lose you coz think of someone you don't want to lose and would you put them in that situation that they are putting you... NO so just move on KHALAS
19 prioritize non materialistic things like family and friends coz at the end of the day they are all that matter
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Do u guys ever feel like a second choice for everything in ur life?
I have been like this in my whole life.I am nice person wiz a good personality also good looking girl and I have good grades too...but Even my bf was first used to flirt With my friend before we became a thing ....is this me or what I do that make me a second choice?
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Do u guys ever feel like a second choice for everything in ur life?
I have been like this in my whole life.I am nice person wiz a good personality also good looking girl and I have good grades too...but Even my bf was first used to flirt With my friend before we became a thing ....is this me or what I do that make me a second choice?
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Have you ever woke up in the middle of a dream and the dream was so interesting that you wanted to go back to sleep to see the end of it? If so, what was the dream ?
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Have you ever woke up in the middle of a dream and the dream was so interesting that you wanted to go back to sleep to see the end of it? If so, what was the dream ?
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Hey
What do u do when a person says they need space away from u...how do u come back from the "space"...i mean how do u even act when they are ready to be with u again..spacially when they left u knowing u are all alone
#Relationship #Adult
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Hey
What do u do when a person says they need space away from u...how do u come back from the "space"...i mean how do u even act when they are ready to be with u again..spacially when they left u knowing u are all alone
#Relationship #Adult
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My ex and I remained friends and it's crazy first things first never date someone from ur circle. take notes. I dont know why I did that, I loved the girl I got no regrets but it's just weird.
The thing is gets all clingy, stalks my social media, dm the girls am talking too, call me stupid names, tag me in a toxic posts... mentions me in sth related to what we were in mnamn. our relationship was fun while it lasted but its been two years ffs fucking move on. she throws tantrums at me all the damn time.. for instance we were in a group eating and I was asked why am obsessed with black cloths and she pops up and says cuz it matches his soul. She never fails to annoy me ... i cant even walk without being punched or without her jumping in my face for no reason, its funny and annoying. If it's just me and her i leave idk why I get nervous sorta esua demo the opposite she will try to eat me. Last week mn happen arege I was on a date sorta date ngr and idk who told her but she asked me of how it went I felt weird so I said I wasn't feeling her mnam. Then a new guy came to the picture.I didn't react at all I mean why would i. Then On thursday night we were in this bar and she kept calling our other frnd betam betedegagami sedewl bro just hang up the phn and enjoy ur night mnamn eyalkut leka she was asking where we were. Then after 40 minutes or so she rolled up with this tall guy. I was like broo..the mood was off this is the number one rule i mean bringing stranger to our group ain't fun and she knows that but did it anyway. Keza senweta ngr the dude got a car apparently and her looking sexy In his arms yizoat hede. letgeba setl she came and asked me what's wrong I said am all good.. she said no u definitely want to say sth so say it alech u look angry setlegn... I had a few drinks so I said u ruined our night and said a lot more. when I drink I have no filter. man selehonk new endi yemtnageregn bla gua alech I can bring who ever I want alech. I said go to ur tall ass fucker and fucking leave us alone we dont want u here alkuat. endeza slat tenada hedech and my other frnds lift endisetachew she brought them along and those stupid fuckers left.
Leaving me all by myself. The satisfaction in her face damn. after she left I realized how stupid it all was she might be thinking am jealous byee endewm debrogn ngr i was gonna call resahut .. then zare I didnt c her the whole day maybe kerta new byee classroom west hogne I was in a discussion ye assignment keza out of no where someone threw a rock at me when i say a rock telek dengay. I was like wtf was that and turned around and she waves a pointy finger at me and goes away... the ppl that saw that I'm sure thinking tenegna adelechim I also think that anyway what should I do abt this situation .... its ridiculous
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My ex and I remained friends and it's crazy first things first never date someone from ur circle. take notes. I dont know why I did that, I loved the girl I got no regrets but it's just weird.
The thing is gets all clingy, stalks my social media, dm the girls am talking too, call me stupid names, tag me in a toxic posts... mentions me in sth related to what we were in mnamn. our relationship was fun while it lasted but its been two years ffs fucking move on. she throws tantrums at me all the damn time.. for instance we were in a group eating and I was asked why am obsessed with black cloths and she pops up and says cuz it matches his soul. She never fails to annoy me ... i cant even walk without being punched or without her jumping in my face for no reason, its funny and annoying. If it's just me and her i leave idk why I get nervous sorta esua demo the opposite she will try to eat me. Last week mn happen arege I was on a date sorta date ngr and idk who told her but she asked me of how it went I felt weird so I said I wasn't feeling her mnam. Then a new guy came to the picture.I didn't react at all I mean why would i. Then On thursday night we were in this bar and she kept calling our other frnd betam betedegagami sedewl bro just hang up the phn and enjoy ur night mnamn eyalkut leka she was asking where we were. Then after 40 minutes or so she rolled up with this tall guy. I was like broo..the mood was off this is the number one rule i mean bringing stranger to our group ain't fun and she knows that but did it anyway. Keza senweta ngr the dude got a car apparently and her looking sexy In his arms yizoat hede. letgeba setl she came and asked me what's wrong I said am all good.. she said no u definitely want to say sth so say it alech u look angry setlegn... I had a few drinks so I said u ruined our night and said a lot more. when I drink I have no filter. man selehonk new endi yemtnageregn bla gua alech I can bring who ever I want alech. I said go to ur tall ass fucker and fucking leave us alone we dont want u here alkuat. endeza slat tenada hedech and my other frnds lift endisetachew she brought them along and those stupid fuckers left.
Leaving me all by myself. The satisfaction in her face damn. after she left I realized how stupid it all was she might be thinking am jealous byee endewm debrogn ngr i was gonna call resahut .. then zare I didnt c her the whole day maybe kerta new byee classroom west hogne I was in a discussion ye assignment keza out of no where someone threw a rock at me when i say a rock telek dengay. I was like wtf was that and turned around and she waves a pointy finger at me and goes away... the ppl that saw that I'm sure thinking tenegna adelechim I also think that anyway what should I do abt this situation .... its ridiculous
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F 20
Hello guys idk why but this days i feel like am obsessed with my 2 exes I check there pp and shit but i am dating someone rn like for 2 freaking years and i need advice from you guys how can i stop thinking about them☹️
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F 20
Hello guys idk why but this days i feel like am obsessed with my 2 exes I check there pp and shit but i am dating someone rn like for 2 freaking years and i need advice from you guys how can i stop thinking about them☹️
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Nebiha, a first year designing student at Wingate, I tried guessing your age and I am sure I got it but you were so Derek to admit I am right lol, anyways reach out to me if you are here and I will tell you how much my "demoz" is.
You were sitting next to me in a taxi.
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Nebiha, a first year designing student at Wingate, I tried guessing your age and I am sure I got it but you were so Derek to admit I am right lol, anyways reach out to me if you are here and I will tell you how much my "demoz" is.
You were sitting next to me in a taxi.
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I wanted to call or text you on your special day, but I didn't want to spoil your day with my shitiness, I've been dreaming about how we're gonna spend this day months ago, but yeah unfortunately that couldn't happen, you're the best thing that has ever happened in my life, months have passed since the day we broke up and trust me I have never been the same. I tried my best to keep you in my life, but I couldn't. Now a day won't pass without thinking about your beautiful smile and kinky afro. This may not change anything but trust me I have never done anything intentionally to hurt you. I have never thought of taking advantage of anything to talk to you, I was just too ashamed of what I texted you earlier that week that I couldn't reveal myself. I hope that you have moved on and started a new chapter in your life this year,
I hope that its not late
祝你内心平静和成功
生日快乐🎈
Happy birthday🎈
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I wanted to call or text you on your special day, but I didn't want to spoil your day with my shitiness, I've been dreaming about how we're gonna spend this day months ago, but yeah unfortunately that couldn't happen, you're the best thing that has ever happened in my life, months have passed since the day we broke up and trust me I have never been the same. I tried my best to keep you in my life, but I couldn't. Now a day won't pass without thinking about your beautiful smile and kinky afro. This may not change anything but trust me I have never done anything intentionally to hurt you. I have never thought of taking advantage of anything to talk to you, I was just too ashamed of what I texted you earlier that week that I couldn't reveal myself. I hope that you have moved on and started a new chapter in your life this year,
I hope that its not late
祝你内心平静和成功
生日快乐🎈
Happy birthday🎈
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Note: know to whom you’re talking to.
So many people find my “POV” odd. Why? Good question. #1 Cause I’m a woman that doesn’t support feminists, cause the feminists I heard in the the late nineteenth is so fucking different from the current one. #2 I prefer trump, Note “prefer” because trump has done for the Us economy in terms of creating s job, deregulation and tax cuts than any other president.
#3 I believe in communism.
And mind this, this is my belief and yet people get mad at me.
Just for this I’ve gotten suspension, detention and a 1000 words of essays to write, Lol and I wrote why I admire the nazi’s.
Again my POV. Thank you.
#School #Teen
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Note: know to whom you’re talking to.
So many people find my “POV” odd. Why? Good question. #1 Cause I’m a woman that doesn’t support feminists, cause the feminists I heard in the the late nineteenth is so fucking different from the current one. #2 I prefer trump, Note “prefer” because trump has done for the Us economy in terms of creating s job, deregulation and tax cuts than any other president.
#3 I believe in communism.
And mind this, this is my belief and yet people get mad at me.
Just for this I’ve gotten suspension, detention and a 1000 words of essays to write, Lol and I wrote why I admire the nazi’s.
Again my POV. Thank you.
#School #Teen
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Hi, M and 22 prolly 3rd time venting idk.
So am in a rn ship but the problem is all the effort and load is on me, it even looks like one sided some days..i love her n she does too ig. Am the only one callin, texting first and even start convos mnamn and am tired rn. Am not tellin her this coz am afraid I would lose her if I do...and it kinda hurts when u're soo clingy and ur partner is basically a meh person till u start something to let them follow. Ah anyone experienced this any advice?
#Melancholy #Relationship
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Hi, M and 22 prolly 3rd time venting idk.
So am in a rn ship but the problem is all the effort and load is on me, it even looks like one sided some days..i love her n she does too ig. Am the only one callin, texting first and even start convos mnamn and am tired rn. Am not tellin her this coz am afraid I would lose her if I do...and it kinda hurts when u're soo clingy and ur partner is basically a meh person till u start something to let them follow. Ah anyone experienced this any advice?
#Melancholy #Relationship
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So there's this guy I love I know him dro jemro like besew mnamn and yehone seat Facebook lay text lakelgn and we talked like for a day ena after that salsbew lesu feeling eyenorgn meta like without talking mnamn gn his posts stories mnamn check areg nebr and yesterday text lakulet and he replied like 2 texts and he left me seen mejemria I thought my pics mnamn delete selarku alawekgnm yehonal mnamn gn our text ale so mn yemeslachhuale what should I do to get his attention cause endzi hugne meketl alefelgm🥺
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So there's this guy I love I know him dro jemro like besew mnamn and yehone seat Facebook lay text lakelgn and we talked like for a day ena after that salsbew lesu feeling eyenorgn meta like without talking mnamn gn his posts stories mnamn check areg nebr and yesterday text lakulet and he replied like 2 texts and he left me seen mejemria I thought my pics mnamn delete selarku alawekgnm yehonal mnamn gn our text ale so mn yemeslachhuale what should I do to get his attention cause endzi hugne meketl alefelgm🥺
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18 M
Never thought it would come to this. It's been almost 3 month since i broke up with my gf. And she is my everything and the only person i talk to. Now i am in critical place in my life. I am in a life crisis with many things going on in my life. Now of all time i needed her more than anything. It's a long story Anyways idk i just feel truly lonely . I wasn't a kind of person who likes chatting much and stuff and never have i thought i would be doing sth like this. I have no choice tho. I need someone to talk to, to distract my self from everything. I don't really know what i am asking of u i am just letting things out here. For the love of God wtf is happening to me. Anyways tnx for your time and don't mind me.
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18 M
Never thought it would come to this. It's been almost 3 month since i broke up with my gf. And she is my everything and the only person i talk to. Now i am in critical place in my life. I am in a life crisis with many things going on in my life. Now of all time i needed her more than anything. It's a long story Anyways idk i just feel truly lonely . I wasn't a kind of person who likes chatting much and stuff and never have i thought i would be doing sth like this. I have no choice tho. I need someone to talk to, to distract my self from everything. I don't really know what i am asking of u i am just letting things out here. For the love of God wtf is happening to me. Anyways tnx for your time and don't mind me.
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Have u ever seen the people u love suffer and u can't do anything about it. Like u know their going through so much pain and you really want to make things better u just want to make it all go away and see their beautiful smile again but there's not much u can do but hold their hand. So u just sit there laying in the hope a miracle might happen and all will be well
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Have u ever seen the people u love suffer and u can't do anything about it. Like u know their going through so much pain and you really want to make things better u just want to make it all go away and see their beautiful smile again but there's not much u can do but hold their hand. So u just sit there laying in the hope a miracle might happen and all will be well
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So hello there I'm just here for a very weird question
So listen up.
I'm 21 so don't go that hard in the comments coz I know some of you do????, anywho my bf wants to finger me but the problem is I'm scared to do it since I've never done it before and since I think it's kinda weird when someone puts a finger in you???? and so I'm pushing the day like oh I'm tired tday, I got a lot to do, I'm on my period, I'm in a hurry, and so much more
I wanted to know if it hurts and what if it gets weird and idk where to look while he's doing it what to do or say or anything really
I really need help y'all better not joke about this
This is some serious shit fr????
I'm about to lose my bf guyssss
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So hello there I'm just here for a very weird question
So listen up.
I'm 21 so don't go that hard in the comments coz I know some of you do????, anywho my bf wants to finger me but the problem is I'm scared to do it since I've never done it before and since I think it's kinda weird when someone puts a finger in you???? and so I'm pushing the day like oh I'm tired tday, I got a lot to do, I'm on my period, I'm in a hurry, and so much more
I wanted to know if it hurts and what if it gets weird and idk where to look while he's doing it what to do or say or anything really
I really need help y'all better not joke about this
This is some serious shit fr????
I'm about to lose my bf guyssss
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I've been on this channel for quite some time and there's one thing that pisses me off whenever there's a vent about being gay. People be pouring their heart out on those vents and get insulted like shit. I mean if you dont support that kind of stuff just scroll to the next vent please. These are young people venting and they're actually trying to seek help from people who had already experienced what they're feeling now. The society already told them this is wrong and that's probably why they're venting to a bunch of random strangers on the internet instead of talking about it with their parents or their close friends. That's how much toxic our society is. I cant believe most of the commenters use religion and culture as an excuse to insult the shit out of someone they dont even know. You're straight because your religion tells you so? ???????? good for you...go and live your fulfilling life (which im sure involves waching lesbian porn secretly) and dont come at people who are gay. Also doesnt your holy book tell you to love everyone and everything even your enemies? ????????♀And for the people who are using the this is not our culture excuse, our perfect culture also let FGM happen for so long so everything is not butterflies and fairies. Deal with that. Please be better.
#LGBTQ+ ????????
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I've been on this channel for quite some time and there's one thing that pisses me off whenever there's a vent about being gay. People be pouring their heart out on those vents and get insulted like shit. I mean if you dont support that kind of stuff just scroll to the next vent please. These are young people venting and they're actually trying to seek help from people who had already experienced what they're feeling now. The society already told them this is wrong and that's probably why they're venting to a bunch of random strangers on the internet instead of talking about it with their parents or their close friends. That's how much toxic our society is. I cant believe most of the commenters use religion and culture as an excuse to insult the shit out of someone they dont even know. You're straight because your religion tells you so? ???????? good for you...go and live your fulfilling life (which im sure involves waching lesbian porn secretly) and dont come at people who are gay. Also doesnt your holy book tell you to love everyone and everything even your enemies? ????????♀And for the people who are using the this is not our culture excuse, our perfect culture also let FGM happen for so long so everything is not butterflies and fairies. Deal with that. Please be better.
#LGBTQ+ ????????
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Everysingle person in my life is like "how are u always so happy?" Mnmn ngr and im like adel????.... I live in a fucking abusive household where my dad beats my ass up and my mom is there like yegra angle sitting there reminding him the shit i have done and didnt get beaten for.... I believe that ppl dont do things without a reason thats why i always feel bad for serial killers or any person instead of judging them. Gn yenezih sewoch beza like i understand hitting me to realese some of his anger (coz i do that to walls????).... Demo sew fit sihon miyasmeslut ngr.... Everybody ik thinks both of them are like the best ppl there could ever be but here they are beating my 17 year old ass????????....i never have fun endeleloch teens i dont even have friends just some ppl ik.....yall have no idea entrance snfeten endet fegche endeserahu just to go to a university but there is fucking tmhrt minister what am i supposed to do wutet eskiweta mnmn how am i going to survive.... I always thought about suicide gn what if i survive ????♀...
#Family
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Everysingle person in my life is like "how are u always so happy?" Mnmn ngr and im like adel????.... I live in a fucking abusive household where my dad beats my ass up and my mom is there like yegra angle sitting there reminding him the shit i have done and didnt get beaten for.... I believe that ppl dont do things without a reason thats why i always feel bad for serial killers or any person instead of judging them. Gn yenezih sewoch beza like i understand hitting me to realese some of his anger (coz i do that to walls????).... Demo sew fit sihon miyasmeslut ngr.... Everybody ik thinks both of them are like the best ppl there could ever be but here they are beating my 17 year old ass????????....i never have fun endeleloch teens i dont even have friends just some ppl ik.....yall have no idea entrance snfeten endet fegche endeserahu just to go to a university but there is fucking tmhrt minister what am i supposed to do wutet eskiweta mnmn how am i going to survive.... I always thought about suicide gn what if i survive ????♀...
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Hey there how y'all doing am a male 21 yrs of age... So here it goes.... Me and her we were soo madly inlove (well that's what I thought I guess) we used to make out and had sex 2 times but then after some times she directly told me that "she lost her feelings and she wishes someone better than her" but after that we continued talking.... Even now we talk all night untill 8 or 9 and she gives me mixed signals when we met she holds my hand and press them against her breast leans her head between my tighs and even she calls me to meet up mnamn nger even ke set guadegnochua yelk enen nw bzu gze dewla mtagegnew or lemagnet betam mtmokrew even bzu slk mdewlew ene ga nw and mtaweragnm ende fkregna new
Even my phone no is saved in her phone as "babe"
But then one day I asked her about her feelings she said "I told you and don't make this too hard"
Soo guys I'm soo confused I don't get womens like please tell me ur opinion about this.. Specially girls
Thanks🙌🙌
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Hey there how y'all doing am a male 21 yrs of age... So here it goes.... Me and her we were soo madly inlove (well that's what I thought I guess) we used to make out and had sex 2 times but then after some times she directly told me that "she lost her feelings and she wishes someone better than her" but after that we continued talking.... Even now we talk all night untill 8 or 9 and she gives me mixed signals when we met she holds my hand and press them against her breast leans her head between my tighs and even she calls me to meet up mnamn nger even ke set guadegnochua yelk enen nw bzu gze dewla mtagegnew or lemagnet betam mtmokrew even bzu slk mdewlew ene ga nw and mtaweragnm ende fkregna new
Even my phone no is saved in her phone as "babe"
But then one day I asked her about her feelings she said "I told you and don't make this too hard"
Soo guys I'm soo confused I don't get womens like please tell me ur opinion about this.. Specially girls
Thanks🙌🙌
#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
Hi, I'm tired but can't sleep so pls excuse typos. I'm a survivor of domestic abuse and possibly sexual abuse. I say possibly because my fellow victim informed me a while back that our abuser was also a child predator. The thing is his abusive behavior didn't come out of the blue. We knew he was dangerous, and we tried to tell people. We even went to court. No one helped. Maybe they wouldn't help because they knew then what I learned now. What happened doesn't matter and it might never matter. People didn't believe us even after it was too late. Long story short: we got lucky and escaped. I've been trying to forget, but things have gotten really really bad. Maybe I'm in denial about my assault but I'm not that upset. I have trained myself to have 0 self worth so all a confirmation of the assault would do is show me my training wasn't futile lol. Besides, I don't remember much already. I can't care tho. I don't mean to not care, I swear! I am actually extremely concerned with my body, or soul, or whatever's inability to believe that all my work will amount to something. It's a dilemma. It has affected my education. The fear of rejection is even scarier. I couldn't finish my college application correctly. I worked for a good GPA and got an internship for this reason and forgot to input that info in my application. I looked for the section for internships and when I couldn't find it I assumed there wasn't one. That all my work was for nothing, but I didn't get even a little upset nor did I doubt my assumption. I thought it was rational conclusion to come to, that the thing I worked hard for was meaningless all along. I only realized I misread the section after I submitted. I wasn't even thinking about any of my past then. It's like my eyes and my memory were lying to me. This is just one event, I've done this with so many other things. everything seems like a dead end when its slightly inconvenient. Knowing about the assault made it so much worse. Even now I feel like this is stupid but my brain functions this way, my senses can't identify anything that doesn't align with being worthless. I'm stuck in a body that can not plan to live a decent life and it's terrifying.
#SexualAssault #Agitation
Telegram • Instagram • Twitter
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
Hi, I'm tired but can't sleep so pls excuse typos. I'm a survivor of domestic abuse and possibly sexual abuse. I say possibly because my fellow victim informed me a while back that our abuser was also a child predator. The thing is his abusive behavior didn't come out of the blue. We knew he was dangerous, and we tried to tell people. We even went to court. No one helped. Maybe they wouldn't help because they knew then what I learned now. What happened doesn't matter and it might never matter. People didn't believe us even after it was too late. Long story short: we got lucky and escaped. I've been trying to forget, but things have gotten really really bad. Maybe I'm in denial about my assault but I'm not that upset. I have trained myself to have 0 self worth so all a confirmation of the assault would do is show me my training wasn't futile lol. Besides, I don't remember much already. I can't care tho. I don't mean to not care, I swear! I am actually extremely concerned with my body, or soul, or whatever's inability to believe that all my work will amount to something. It's a dilemma. It has affected my education. The fear of rejection is even scarier. I couldn't finish my college application correctly. I worked for a good GPA and got an internship for this reason and forgot to input that info in my application. I looked for the section for internships and when I couldn't find it I assumed there wasn't one. That all my work was for nothing, but I didn't get even a little upset nor did I doubt my assumption. I thought it was rational conclusion to come to, that the thing I worked hard for was meaningless all along. I only realized I misread the section after I submitted. I wasn't even thinking about any of my past then. It's like my eyes and my memory were lying to me. This is just one event, I've done this with so many other things. everything seems like a dead end when its slightly inconvenient. Knowing about the assault made it so much worse. Even now I feel like this is stupid but my brain functions this way, my senses can't identify anything that doesn't align with being worthless. I'm stuck in a body that can not plan to live a decent life and it's terrifying.
#SexualAssault #Agitation
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