متَى رَأَيْتَ صَاحِبَكَ قَدْ غَضِبَ، وَأَخَذَ يَتَكَلَّمُ بِمَا لَا يَصْلُحُ، فَلَا يَنْبَغِي أَنْ تَعْقِدَ عَلَى مَا يَقُولُهُ خِنْصَرًا، وَلَا أَنْ تُؤَاخِذَهُ بِهِ، فَإِنَّ حَالَهُ حَالُ السَّكْرَانِ، لَا يَدْرِي مَا يَجْرِي.

بَلِ اصْبِرْ لِفَوْرَتِهِ، وَلَا تَعُولْ عَلَيْهَا؛ فَإِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ قَدْ غَلَبَهُ، وَالطَّبْعَ قَدْ هَاجَ، وَالْعَقْلَ قَدِ اسْتَتَرَ.

وَمَتَى أَخَذْتَ فِي نَفْسِكَ عَلَيْهِ، أَوْ أَجَبْتَهُ بِمُقْتَضَى فِعْلِهِ، كُنْتَ كَعَاقِلٍ وَاجَهَ مَجْنُونًا، أَوْ كَمُفِيقٍ عَاتَبَ مُغْمًى عَلَيْهِ، فَالذَّنْبُ لَكَ.

بَلِ انْظُرْ بِعَيْنِ الرَّحْمَةِ، وَتَلَمَّحْ تَصْرِيفَ الْقَدَرِ لَهُ، وَتَفَرَّجْ فِي لَعِبِ الطَّبْعِ بِهِ،

وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّهُ إِذَا انْتَبَهَ، نَدِمَ عَلَى مَا جَرَى، وَعَرَفَ لَكَ فَضْلَ الصَّبْرِ.

وَأَقَلُّ الْأَقْسَامِ أَنْ تُسَلِّمَهُ فِيمَا يَفْعَلُ فِي غَضَبِهِ إِلَى مَا يَسْتَرِيحُ بِهِ.

وَهٰذِهِ الحَالَةُ يَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَتَلَمَّحَهَا الوَلَدُ عِنْدَ غَضَبِ الوَالِدِ، وَالزَّوْجَةُ عِنْدَ غَضَبِ الزَّوْجِ، فَتَتْرُكَهُ يَشْتَفِي بِمَا يَقُولُ، وَلَا تَعُولُ عَلَى ذٰلِكَ، فَسَيَعُودُ نَادِمًا مُعْتَذِرًا.

وَمَتَى قُوبِلَ عَلَى حَالَتِهِ وَمَقَالَتِهِ؛ صَارَتِ العَدَاوَةُ مُتَمَكِّنَةً، وَجَازَى فِي الإفَاقَةِ عَلَى مَا فَعَلَ فِي حَقِّهِ وَقْتَ السُّكْرِ.

وَأَكْثَرُ النَّاسِ عَلَى غَيْرِ هٰذِهِ الطَّرِيقِ: مَتَى رَأَوْا غَضْبَانَ، قَابَلُوهُ بِمَا يَقُولُ وَيَعْمَلُ، وَهٰذَا عَلَى غَيْرِ مُقْتَضَى الحِكْمَةِ، بَلِ الحِكْمَةُ مَا ذَكَرْتُهُ، {وَمَا يَعْقِلُهَا إِلَّا العَالِمُونَ}.»

📚Ibn al-Jawzī, Abū al-Faraj ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn ʿAlī. Ṣayd al-Khāṭir. Damascus: Dār al-Qalam, 1st ed., 1425 AH / 2004 CE, pp. 295–297 (matching the passage numbering 946–949).

«وَلَا يُعَامِلُهُمْ بِالْعُنْفِ وَالشِّدَّةِ وَالْغِلْظَةِ، فَإِنَّ ذٰلِكَ يُنَفِّرُهُمْ عَنْهُ، وَيُغْرِيْهِمْ بِهِ، وَيُفْسِدُ عَلَيْهِ قَلْبَهُ وَحَالَهُ مَعَ اللَّهِ وَوَقْتَهُ .

. فَلَيْسَ لِلْقَلْبِ أَنْفَعُ مِنْ مُعَامَلَةِ النَّاسِ بِاللُّطْفِ

فَإِنَّ مُعَامَلَهُ بِذٰلِكَ: إِمَّا أَجْنَبِيٌّ فَيَكْسِبُ مَوَدَّتَهُ وَمَحَبَّتَهُ، وَإِمَّا صَاحِبٌ وَحَبِيبٌ فَيَسْتَدِيمُ صُحْبَتَهُ وَمَحَبَّتَهُ، وَإِمَّا عَدُوٌّ وَمُبْغِضٌ فَتُطْفِئُ بِلُطْفِكَ جَمْرَتَهُ، وَتَسْتَكْفِي شَرَّهُ، وَيَكُونُ احْتِمَالُكَ لِمَضَضِ لُطْفِكَ بِهِ دُونَ احْتِمَالِكَ لِضَرَرِ مَا يَنَالُكَ مِنَ الْغِلْظَةِ عَلَيْهِ وَالْعُنْفِ بِهِ.»

📚Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. Madārij al-Sālikīn fī Manāzil al-Sāʾirīn.
[Āthār al-Imām Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah wa-mā Laḥiqahā min Aʿmāl, no. 31]. Riyadh: Dār ʿAṭāʾāt al-ʿIlm; Beirut: Dār Ibn Ḥazm, 2nd ed., 1441 AH / 2019 CE, vol. 3, p. 344.

«مَنْ تَمَسَّكَ بِالكِتَابِ وَالسُّنَّةِ، وَلَوْ لَمْ يَعْرِفْنَا وَلَمْ نَعْرِفْهُ، فَهُوَ مِنْ أَهْلِ السُّنَّةِ، فَلَسْنَا نَتَحَجَّرُ وَاسِعًا. فَأَهْلُ السُّنَّةِ – بِحَمْدِ اللهِ – لَيْسُوا دُعَاةَ فِتْنَةٍ، وَلَيْسُوا دُعَاةَ حِزْبِيَّةٍ، وَلَيْسُوا دُعَاةَ ثَوْرَاتٍ وَانْقِلَابَاتٍ، بَلْ دُعَاةُ إِصْلَاحٍ. فَالَّذِي يُنَفِّرُ عَنْهُمْ إِنَّمَا يُنَفِّرُ عَنِ الدِّينِ.

وَالَّذِي يَقُولُ: هٰذَا الزَّمَانُ لَيْسَ وَقْتَ تَصْحِيحِ الحَدِيثِ وَتَضْعِيفِهِ، وَلَيْسَ وَقْتَ هٰذَا ثِقَةٌ وَهٰذَا ضَعِيفٌ – إِلَى غَيْرِ ذٰلِكُمْ.

سُبْحَانَ الله! شَغَلْتُمْ أَنْفُسَكُمْ بِالتَّمْثِيلِيَّاتِ، وَشَغَلْتُمْ أَنْفُسَكُمْ بِالكُرَةِ، وَشَغَلْتُمْ أَنْفُسَكُمْ بِالجَرَائِدِ وَالمَجَلَّاتِ، ثُمَّ تَعِيبُونَ عَلَى إِخْوَانِكُمْ! يَجِبُ أَنْ نَكُونَ مُنْصِفِينَ، وَرَحِمَ اللهُ امْرَأً عَرَفَ قَدْرَ نَفْسِهِ.»

Muqbil ibn Hādī al-Wādiʿī, al-Muṣāraʿah, pp. 92–98.

قَوْلُهُ ﷺ فِي ذِكْرِهِ الإِحْسَانَ: «وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ» وَذٰلِكَ أَنَّ البَشَاشَةَ المُخْلِصَةَ الصَّادِرَةَ مِنَ القَلْبِ عَلَى الوَجْهِ، تُعَبِّرُ عَمَّا يَكِنُّهُ مِنْ مَحَبَّةٍ وَوِدَادٍ، وَأَنَّهُ فَرِحٌ بِرُؤْيَةِ أَخِيهِ وَاجْتِمَاعِهِ بِهِ، وَهِيَ جَذَّابَةٌ لِلْقُلُوبِ كَمَا هُوَ مُشَاهَدٌ، وَأَيُّ إِحْسَانٍ أَبْلَغُ مِنْ هٰذَا؟!

وَأَمَّا مُجَرَّدُ البَشَاشَةِ الخَالِيَةُ مِنَ الوَجْهِ المُنْطَلِقِ عَنِ القَلْبِ، فَإِنَّهَا قَلِيلَةُ الجَدْوَى.»

📚 Majmūʿ al-Fawāʾid wa Iqtināṣ al-Awābid, p. 250

“Among the subtle secrets behind relief being coupled with the intensification of distress is that when anguish grows severe and immense, and reaches its utmost limit, despair arises of its removal from the direction of created beings, and one’s attachment falls solely upon the Creator.

Whoever severs himself from reliance upon creation and attaches himself to the Creator alone—Allah responds to him and removes his affliction.

For true reliance consists of cutting off all forward-looking expectation of others by despairing of created beings altogether.”

«الْبِدْعَةُ فَاشِيَةٌ وَأَهْلُهَا أَعِزَّاءُ!»

“Innovation has spread, and its people are powerful!”
He replied:

فَقَالَ: «أَمَا عَلِمْتَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ إِذَا أَرَادَ قَطْعَ ‌بِدْعَةٍ ‌أَظْهَرَهَا؟»

“Do you not know that when Allah wills to uproot an innovation, He brings it into full view?”

📚al-Qāḍī ʿIyāḍ ibn Mūsā. Tartīb al-Madārik wa-Taqrīb al-Masālik li-Maʿrifat Aʿlām Madhhab Mālik. Vol. 4, p. 72. Rabat: Wizārat al-Awqāf wa-l-Shuʾūn al-Islāmiyyah bi-l-Mamlakah al-Maghribiyyah, 1st ed.

“Today we live in a time when tribulations have closed in on us from every side. Our youth are left bewildered, surrounded by trials like patches of a pitch-black night. A person wakes up holding one view and goes to sleep holding another, scarcely able to recognize what is right in what he hears and sees, or in what he reads.

One of the most important realities our youth must understand is that the people around us generally fall into two types. The first is the jealous person—one who resents you for the many blessings you enjoy: well-being, steadfastness upon the Sacred Law, security and stability, and a wholesome life. Everyone who possesses a blessing is bound to be envied. The second type is the one who feels sincere emulation and good envy toward you regarding these same blessings.

The heart of the matter is this: envy is to wish that a blessing be taken away—whether it disappears and comes to oneself, passes to someone else, or vanishes altogether. Good envy, on the other hand, is to wish to have something similar to what you have, without wanting that blessing to be taken from you.

We must clearly grasp this distinction and keep it firmly in mind so that we deal with others wisely and with insight, and so that we can tell the difference between a true friend and an enemy. Trials and hardships are precisely what reveal the sincere friend and expose the pretended one.

The poet spoke the truth when he said:

May Allah reward hardships with every good,
for through them I came to know my enemy from my friend.

This blind tribulation has uncovered realities that were long hidden in people’s hearts. It has also exposed mistaken ideas held by some—ideas they could not openly promote except in times like these dark days.

We now find ourselves in a state of confusion, driven by unchecked desires. Everyone chooses a side and goes in whatever direction he wishes, for whatever purpose he desires. Pens are writing, broadcasts are airing, recordings are being made, and lectures are being delivered—each vessel pouring out what it contains.”

As a result, our youth keep reading from one source, listening to another, and paying attention to yet another, left confused and unsettled by it all.”