At some point in your life, an attractive person passed by you and regretted not talking to you.
We never appreciate the fact the most complex thing in the Universe is sitting right there inside our very own skulls.
Maybe dogs destroy shoes because they see humans always need them before they leave the house.
You never realize you took being alone for granted until you get stuck talking to someone who won’t shut the fuck up.
If superhero’s were real they would all be sponsored and have advertisements on their super suits.
Nothing makes you full faster than eating a meal you don’t want to eat.
When you hear a car alarm go off, you think, "Someone fucked up," not, "Someone's stealing a car."
If you put on a t-shirt inside-out the entire universe is wearing it, except you.
While travelling on a bus or train with limited seats it’s funny how you always find yourself simultaneously relieved and offended when another commuter chooses not to sit next to you.
To someone somewhere, you're living their dream life, but to someone else you're a failure.
People who do harder drugs are considered hardcore addicts while people addicted to smoking tobacco downplay it as if it is just a necessary part of their lifestyle.
Canned laughter (or laught tracks) in older tv shows are often laughter of the dead.
Walking a dog is the only time it's socially acceptable to carry around a bag of shit in public.
Our world would be completly different if a baby’s race was complety random
People tend to correlate the clinking of coins with being rich, but if somebody is carrying around many coins they probably aren’t very rich.
procrastinating is like delaying the main story line to do all the side quests in a game
If you die in a different time zone, the time difference between your birth time to time of death won't be equal to your actual time alive.
Smart phones are probably responsible for reducing graffiti in public toilets