If we as a species were as easily injured as soccer players pretend to be, we would have died out a long time ago.
When a good friend dies, he takes with him memories of you that only him remembered, a part of you then dies with him.
The fact that our lips can create an airtight seal and a watertight seal pretty easy is really underrated.
The worst part about being an adult is that no one cares what your favourite dinosaur is.
If “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” came out today the students in it would have #SaveFerris trending on social media
Stormtroopers always die with a single hit, so their full body armour is pretty pointless.
We're living in the golden age of laughing at AI doing stupid things like writing nonsense dialog and failing at video games. It never existed before us and won't exist once AI gets good enough to not make mistakes. Our children will never know the joy of laughing at computers being dumb.
A murderer may have crossed your path, thought about killing you and thought "nah"
Inside out would be a rated R movie if the protagonist was a 12 yearold boy
A television channel playing "The Lion King" on Father's Day is the equivalent of playing "Bambi" on Mother's Day.
The creators of The Truman Show must have gone through hell to stop Truman from masturbating all the time.
If rich people were sent to the same prisons as everyone else, the prison system would be fixed real fast.
The worst part about TV ads isn’t the ads themselves, it’s that they keep playing the same ones over and over again.
There comes a time in every man’s life when MILF porn is just watching a woman your own age fuck.
When a person is really attractive but hides a terrible personality, they’re basically real-life click bait.
Women in razor ads are always shown shaving their already hairless legs.