Shower Thoughts ๐Ÿšฟ
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Fat guys would probably get laid a lot more if their dicks got bigger the same way fat girls have bigger boobs.
Spiderman's Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
There aren't many things more annoying than being in the midst of doing something while listening to music, and having your headphones snag and get ripped out of your ears.
A cactus is nothing but a heavily armed cucumber.
Everyone is half centaur
The most unrealistic part of the Batman story is that he can somehow find parking for the Batmobile in the city.
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You will never know if the way you see color is the way the rest of the world sees color.
Half of Blink 182 is Wink 91
Somewhere in the universe the battle for the galaxy could be in full swing
Lightswitches are also Darkswitches
Only a beekeeper is happy about receiving a box of bees. Everyone else would just be terrified.
Biology, Chemistry, and Physics are essentially all the same Science with different zoom settings...
Due to the poor accuracy of early firearms, bringing a knife to a gunfight was probably a good idea 600 hundred years ago.
Millennials are often accused of feeling too entitled, but it's always old ladies demanding their expired coupons be redeemed.
We all wish superpowers existed but in reality humans can't even handle different skin colors
[NSFW] We really dropped the ball by not calling orgies Cluster Fucks
Bad guys use masks to cover their lower face while good guys cover their upper face.
Slow and obvious mosquitoes are slapped. Fast and sneaky mosquitoes pass on their genes.
The phrase โ€œkilling timeโ€ is ironic because itโ€™s really time thatโ€™s killing you
Missspelling something in Google search and coming up with zero results, basically indicates no one has ever been as inept as you at something
Diamond ads that show handfuls of diamonds slipping through their fingers prove just how worthless and a scam diamonds really are