Shower Thoughts 🚿
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One of the best feelings is that exact moment when you find out someone has the same sense of humour as you
We live in a time, where humans have built a giant telescope in space, that is capable of seeing galaxies more than 13 billion light years away. Cars are starting to drive themselves and organs are grown in labs. The present is Sci-Fi AF
You can totally have a telepathic conversation with your reflection.
No matter what toys you had as a kid, when you went to your friends' house they always had cooler toys than you did.
Give a man a bro, and he will chill for a day. Teach a bro how to chill, he will have bros for life.
It’s a mans unspoken duty to clean the poo off the walls of the toilet with his pee stream.
β€œYour baby is so cute!” is probably the most socially acceptable lie on Earth.
Fat guys would probably get laid a lot more if their dicks got bigger the same way fat girls have bigger boobs.
Spiderman's Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
There aren't many things more annoying than being in the midst of doing something while listening to music, and having your headphones snag and get ripped out of your ears.
A cactus is nothing but a heavily armed cucumber.
Everyone is half centaur
The most unrealistic part of the Batman story is that he can somehow find parking for the Batmobile in the city.
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You will never know if the way you see color is the way the rest of the world sees color.
Half of Blink 182 is Wink 91
Somewhere in the universe the battle for the galaxy could be in full swing
Lightswitches are also Darkswitches
Only a beekeeper is happy about receiving a box of bees. Everyone else would just be terrified.
Biology, Chemistry, and Physics are essentially all the same Science with different zoom settings...
Due to the poor accuracy of early firearms, bringing a knife to a gunfight was probably a good idea 600 hundred years ago.
Millennials are often accused of feeling too entitled, but it's always old ladies demanding their expired coupons be redeemed.