When you eat a tube of pringles, your digestive system becomes a tube of pringles
Women have a hard time deciding what to eat because the first time Eve did, she doomed humanity.
Making movie-going customers sit through the credits for a nugget of information has gone from being cool and avantguard to just one giant pain in the ass.
Identifying a food or drink as an "acquired taste" is just another way of saying "it's gross, but you'll get used to it."
If you aren’t confident about your looks, just remember that you look like your ancestors and they all got laid.
Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can't perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.
Eventually, there will be a generation who won’t understand why clockwise and anti-clockwise are named as they are
The older you get the more you look back and realize how much of an idiot you were in the past
Tetris is a game which teaches you that mistakes stack up while success disappears.
The cellphone has replaced the back of the shampoo bottle as the literature of choice in the bathroom
Sears has been going out of business longer than Uber and Instagram have existed.
"That 70's Show" premiered August 1998 - 28 years after 1970. If a hypothetical "That 90's Show" were to air with the same offset, it would premiere 2 months from now.
George Washington died in 1799. The first dinosaur fossil was discovered in 1824. George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed.
Depression and anxiety is a bit like radiation. There’s always a little bit in the background; but not enough to kill you. Then, once in a while, you get a free trip to Chernobyl.
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One of the best feelings is actually remembering what you were going to say.