Shower Thoughts 🚿
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In the last two decades phones have advanced to affordable high tech devices that fit in your pocket and connect to the internet, but printers are still massive clunky monstrosities that are constantly malfunctioning
Cell phones have taken all the fun out of pushing people into pools
If they made another Olympics that allowed people to use performance enhancing drugs, it would be way more fun to watch.
Pets in Western Cultures eat better than about 3.5 billion people.
Having social anxiety feels like you're in a theatre play without a script.
Vanilla is one of the most complex spices known to man with over 250 compounds...But we use it as synonym for simple and boring.
The strictest parents raise the best liars
When you eat a tube of pringles, your digestive system becomes a tube of pringles
Women have a hard time deciding what to eat because the first time Eve did, she doomed humanity.
"London" is two thirds "on"
Making movie-going customers sit through the credits for a nugget of information has gone from being cool and avantguard to just one giant pain in the ass.
Identifying a food or drink as an "acquired taste" is just another way of saying "it's gross, but you'll get used to it."
Snakes kill in two ways: with hugs and with kisses
If you aren’t confident about your looks, just remember that you look like your ancestors and they all got laid.
Not getting a message back is a message.
Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can't perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.
You kill time until time kills you
Eventually, there will be a generation who won’t understand why clockwise and anti-clockwise are named as they are
The older you get the more you look back and realize how much of an idiot you were in the past
Tetris is a game which teaches you that mistakes stack up while success disappears.
The cellphone has replaced the back of the shampoo bottle as the literature of choice in the bathroom