If real animals were Pokémon, kangaroos would just be the evolved form of rabbits.

The only exhausting thing about online shopping is to find a payment method that doesn't require you to get up.

The greatest victory isn't destroying your enemies; it's having them join your side.

A theater could make money off the people who sneak snacks in by opening a store, that sells that stuff, near their theater.

For being The Final Fantasy, they sure do have a lot of sequals.

Someone is going to be the last human born.

People who focus on whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable.

There’s something blissful about being done with an exam, coming home a few hours later and being able to close down all the tabs on your computer that you used to study for the test.

Life is just collecting people to come to your funeral.

The best part about turning 18 is being able to use your real birthday when signing up for something.

In a rich nation being fit is a success, in a poor nation having extra weight is a success.

Most of us have seen bowling pins but few of us have actually touched them and/or felt their weight.

The mule was the original hybrid vehicle

Chain chomps are enslaved pac-mans.

21st century. Where deleting history is more important than making it.

Monopoly has a monopoly on Monopoly.

Allergies are like a conspiracy theory where your body believes the air is trying to poison it

Maybe the Lost Island of Atlantis was just an olden day cartographer protecting their intellectual property by inserting a fake island on to a map and it went viral.

If you step on a bug you might be ending a successful line of reproduction that goes back for hundreds of millions of years without a second thought

Any shoe is a slip-on shoe if you try hard and believe in yourself.

You’ve been shouted and sworn at hundreds of times while driving, and you don’t know when.