Sometimes l wonder if people in the 1500s used to masturbate to renaissance paintings.
We really need an app that blocks you from seeing the same video more than a certain amount of times on social media.
So many people are in love, but not together. So many people are together, but aren’t in love.
If you think about it, birthdays are really satanic rituals about chanting around a flaming object that represents the amount of years taken off your life, upon which the flames are blown out and a knife is stabbed through it.
Buying a Ferrari for normal city driving is like buying a 5k gaming rig to browse the internet
With so many veterans having PTSD, Memorial Day is probably not the best holiday to celebrate with fireworks.
You know you are growing up when you start noticing how horrible your friends are.
The guy who ate 30,000 Big Macs (Don Gorske) is honestly the true Burger King.
Asking someone “where are you” is a recent thing. Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were
Memes are just the entire internet playing one big game of cards against humanity
Shows with laugh tracks would be actually funny if the laugh track were replaced with the sound of just one guy laughing hysterically
Forwarded from Betel
If you really think about it, your birthday is also your mom's birth-day.
The first person to walk into the battlefield with a full suit of armour must have scared the shit out of their enemies.
Forwarded from Rudeboy
The luxury of breathing through 2 nostrils is never appreciated until you get sick and one becomes blocked for a few days.
It would be cool if we could download our dreams DVR style and watch/analyze them after we woke up.