Being an adult is just hiding how immature you actually are from other adults doing the same thing
Everyone born roughly before 2000 was lied to when our math teachers told us we wouldn't be carrying a calculator with us when we grew up.
There must be hundreds of photos you’ve never seen, in which you are an idiot in the background.
If the purpose of existence is procreation, then, ultimately, we're all just ads for our DNA.
Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting a balloon go.
You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a YouTuber by their video thumbnails
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If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up.
The best part about being an introvert is all the money you save by not doing social interactions.
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Dreams are basically conversations between your right brain and your left brain, where your right brain tries to convince your left one that something spectacular happened and the left brain repeats all the stuff the right one says in a condescending voice
Putting all your eggs in one basket is something birds have been doing for millions of years, and it seems to have worked out okay for them.
Forwarded from Gabby
I wonder who invented marriage like I'm going to get the government involved so that you can't leave,cos if u think about it its kind of mucked up
Rainforest is no longer people’s first thought when someone mentions Amazon.
People who ask late sleepers when they woke up, really don’t care about the time, but simply want to feel superior because of their more conventional sleep schedule.
It seems the most disrespectful people insist that respect is to be earned, yet demand it from others unconditionally.
Pac-Man is addicted to pills, Mario is addicted to shrooms, and Sonic is addicted to speed.
Sometimes l wonder if people in the 1500s used to masturbate to renaissance paintings.