Medical procedures for mice will always be a step ahead of medical procedures for humans.

You treat outside wounds with rubbing alcohol. You treat inside wounds with drinking alcohol.

Old people no longer complain about kids being on their lawns and now complain about kids not playing outside

A deaf gangster from British Columbia would be A BC DEF G

We've all been trapped inside a women's body at some point in our lives!

As a kid a wiggling tooth is exciting. As an adult a wiggling tooth is terrifying.

You may turn 4! years old, but only a handful of people ever lived to be 5!

Normal people are just people you don't know very well.

You never fully realize how inept mainstream media is until they cover a topic you know a lot of.

“The camera adds 10 pounds” is a phrase of the past. Now people look better in their pictures than they do in person

Being an adult is just hiding how immature you actually are from other adults doing the same thing

Everyone born roughly before 2000 was lied to when our math teachers told us we wouldn't be carrying a calculator with us when we grew up.

5.07bn mobile phone users and not one single picture of a ghost yet

There must be hundreds of photos you’ve never seen, in which you are an idiot in the background.

If the purpose of existence is procreation, then, ultimately, we're all just ads for our DNA.

Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting a balloon go.

The opposite of LiveStream is DeadPool

You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a YouTuber by their video thumbnails

If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up.

The best part about being an introvert is all the money you save by not doing social interactions.

Dreams are basically conversations between your right brain and your left brain, where your right brain tries to convince your left one that something spectacular happened and the left brain repeats all the stuff the right one says in a condescending voice