The only difference between crazy cat ladies and crazy horse girls is money.

Yawning is just a “battery low” warning for humans.

Marriage is just dating someone to death.

Hawaii is the only state making more land.

We used to read things on scrolls. Now we scroll to read things.

Flies always manage to get through the tiny gap in your window but can never seem to escape when it's wide open

We still live in a world where people think alcohol isn't a drug.

Minty is like the cold version of spicy

Back then, the poor can only afford horses and the only the rich afforded cars. Now, the poor can afford cars but only the rich can afford horses.

Being left high and dry sounds a lot more appealing than being left low and moist

In 20 years people will need to jailbreak their cars to drive over speed limit.

Even after 106 years, The Titanics pool still has water in it

The most unrealistic thing about toy story was the fact that the claw machine had the strength to pick up two toys.

The internet has decided that if dogs could talk they would all say "hooman" and not "human"

Dreaming is basically half of your brain making stuff up, and the other half trying to figure out what's going on

Medical procedures for mice will always be a step ahead of medical procedures for humans.

You treat outside wounds with rubbing alcohol. You treat inside wounds with drinking alcohol.

Old people no longer complain about kids being on their lawns and now complain about kids not playing outside

A deaf gangster from British Columbia would be A BC DEF G

We've all been trapped inside a women's body at some point in our lives!

As a kid a wiggling tooth is exciting. As an adult a wiggling tooth is terrifying.