One upside of having bad memory is that you can watch your favourite shows all over again.
Forwarded from QCat
You know when your food is bad if even the dog who normally eats anything won't even touch it
The most depressing thing about getting older is seeing all the heroes of your youth die, and be replaced by younger, more accomplished people than you.
Forwarded from Cailean Pup Queen of Cotton Candy
Everyone takes being healthy for granted until they are sick, but once they are healthy again they take it for granted. So sickness it really just a way to get us to value being healthy
Reading a book under a tree seems nice to us, but for a tree it's taunting them with the shredded flesh of their family.
Kids these days will never know the struggle of only being able to store 200 text messages on your phone.
Life would be very different if people had to renew their marriage licenses like they do their drivers licenses.
You know you are in a wealthy area when hearing a car alarm makes you think "some idiot accidentally set off their car alarm" instead of "someone is being robbed"
Scuba diving is equivalent to travelling to another dimension where you can fly, and there are aliens fucking everywhere.
It must be a rare delight for 2 left handed people to shake with their dominant hands
When the robots inevitably take over, we will have to communicate in Captchas to plan our revolt
Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because you’re not over there fucking it up.
Whoever gives the eulogy at Morgan Freeman's funeral is going to have one hell of a job to do.
A werewolf who doesn’t know that they’re a werewolf would be an unawarewolf.
As a kid you wish to be an adult so you can eat whatever you want. As an adult you wish to be a kid so you can eat whatever you want.
The Sun is a supermassive ball of thermonuclear explosions bigger than our entire planet, and we make $3 glasses so it doesn't bother us too much
We think of old music as being better than music from the present because we only remember the songs that were good enough to be remembered, but in the present we see an unfiltered stream of everything being made regardless of if it will be remembered for generations or forgotten quickly.
You’re only afraid of being alone in the dark because you’re afraid you are not alone.
If you think about it, Moses was the first person with a tablet to download data from the cloud.
A hundred years ago, if you told a kid they were getting the switch they'd probably cry. Today if you tell a kid they're getting the Switch, they'd be elated.