If you can’t afford a condom, than you really can’t afford NOT to have a condom.
The Invisible Man could have a perfectly happy, ordinary relationship with a blind person.
When you buy clothes with logos on them you are paying the company so that you can advertise for them
It must be infuriating to lose 10 friends in Santa Fe, and see the 24/7 coverage of the royal wedding on the news.
“Yanny or laurel” probably would have been a way to discern witches 400 years ago.
It would be great if spaceflight became cheap enough to send all the flat-earthers up there.
PornHub’s website has a black background so it doesn’t hurt people’s eyes, since most people use the website at night.
If you ever think you're a bad parent just remember that Adam and Eve's oldest grew up to invent murder.
For 99.99% (estimating) of humanity's existence, the earth will fall into one of two states: everyone on the planet grew up with the internet, or everyone on the planet grew up without the internet. We are alive in the small sliver of time where members from both groups occupy the planet at once.
Going to the cinema alone is often seen as very odd but it’s actually one of the most appropriate activities to do solo.
The worst thing about locking yourself out of your house is seeing how easily the locksmith breaks in.
JD Salinger stormed the beaches of Normandy with an unfinished manuscript of Catcher in the Rye in his knapsack. He survived the war and finished the novel. Someone could have died that day on the beach who had an even greater accomplishment brewing but we will never know.
If you think you ever fucked up bad, just remember somewhere an ant brought borax laced food to the colony killing the queen and the colony
If there was a sorry horn to use from your car when you accidentally cut someone off, it would prevent a lot of road rage.
When you live in an apartment building you are relying on dozens of other people to not burn down your house.
Apple probably made Siri stupid and useless on purpose so we’re not worried that she’s recording everything we say 24/7.
They say you can't put a price tag on knowledge, but they then put knowledge in books and sell it to students for way too much money.