The entire universe, including you and all of your memories, could have popped up five seconds ago and you would have no way of knowing.

Despacito is the new Rick roll, but worse

Really simple paintings like plain white canvases that sell for millions of dollars could probably just be the mafia discretely transferring money.

When you think about it, beef jerkey is just a cow raisin

Everything on earth and in the whole universe is either a potato or not.

Waldo’s parents are probably worried sick.

The pleasant sounds of nature in spring are mostly just from horny animals

In many religions God forgives after the believer asks for forgiveness, yet the believer has to forgive everyone else without any precondition.

Saying “have a nice day” to someone sounds friendly, but saying “enjoy your next 24 hours” sounds threatening

Humans are ~70% Water so that makes us water type. This is why pollen is "Super Effective" against us.

If a regular person has their own page in Wikipedia, a really bad thing probably happened to them.

Walking at 3mph is calming and enjoyable but driving at 3mph is aggravating and painful

Boy, were we wrong as kids thinking adults have LOTS of money.

you're younger *now* than you are *now*

Being both cool and hot makes you extremely hot which is pretty cool.

In a world where chip bags are becoming more and more "airy" it's time we showed some respect to soda companies for filling those cans to the absolute brim

200 years ago, recording sound probably seemed as ridiculous as recording smell does now.

If you have 2 choices and one of them is taken away , you have 0 choices.

If vegeance is sweet , and revenge is a dish best served cold. Then we are talking about ice cream .

The only thing worse than looking over and seeing a spider, is looking over again a moment later and not seeing that spider.

Smarter people are more depressed because they see how the world really is, not what it is made out to be.