Millennials need to take a brief break from killing restaurants and find a way to kill junk mail.
When you're a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher's classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer
If you consider the Earth as a living host, Natural disasters are the Earths immune system killing off human parasites.
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Ever wonder if the bank just looks through your account and think what the fuck is this person doing.
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Parents are the only humans on this earth who will talk good about you behind your back, but talk shit to your face.
The Batsignal basically tells all of gothams that batman is going to be busy, so the best time to commit a crime would be whilst it is on.
We live in a world where lemonade is made with artificial flavors, but furniture polish is made with real lemons.
Forwarded from VEX 🔜 LVFC
Given that Ace Attorney came out in 2001, there are probably already at least a few attorneys out there today who were inspired to follow law as a career from Phoenix Wright
A true sign of care is when a person takes out both headphones to listen to what someone has to say
True love is finding that special person you are comfortable exposing 95% of your true self to, and it doesn't result in catastrophe.
It is so obvious when people around us are flirting with one another, but it is impossible to tell when people are flirting with us.
Having kids is probably a lot like having dogs. Everyone else’s are tidy, smart and well-behaved and you’re just happy yours didn’t shit on the floor today.
Once smart appliances have taken over our homes we'll have to watch ads before we can use the microwave
A Bob Ross/Mr. Rogers crossover episode would have been the most wholesome viewing experience ever