Charities are all working towards a world in which they don’t exist

The only people who think a car playing loud music is cool are the people in the car.

No matter how ‘futuristic’ the future becomes, by the time we actually get there it will seem mundane.

If two mind readers read each others minds, they'd each just be thinking.

Millennials need to take a brief break from killing restaurants and find a way to kill junk mail.

When you're a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher's classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer

If you consider the Earth as a living host, Natural disasters are the Earths immune system killing off human parasites.

Are the sex toys alive in the toy story universe

When you blow on a dandelion, you're just helping it orgasm

In 50 years, retirement homes will be giant LAN parties.

Ever wonder if the bank just looks through your account and think what the fuck is this person doing.

Bricks are just domesticated rocks.

Parents are the only humans on this earth who will talk good about you behind your back, but talk shit to your face.

The Batsignal basically tells all of gothams that batman is going to be busy, so the best time to commit a crime would be whilst it is on.

We live in a world where lemonade is made with artificial flavors, but furniture polish is made with real lemons.

Given that Ace Attorney came out in 2001, there are probably already at least a few attorneys out there today who were inspired to follow law as a career from Phoenix Wright

A true sign of care is when a person takes out both headphones to listen to what someone has to say

A race that ended in Finland is an actual race to the Finnish line

You never actually go through a door. You go around the door.

True love is finding that special person you are comfortable exposing 95% of your true self to, and it doesn't result in catastrophe.

Technically humans are half centaur