Bones healing stronger after they break is like when your mom does a double knot when trying your shoes. Your body is like "there. Because you're a clumsy fuck."
80s and 90s kids got sick of their moms telling them to pause the game, so they grew up, became developers, and invented games that can't be paused.
Thanos could've just used the stones to double the universe's resources if he was worried about them being finite
On Mother’s Day, Dad is expected to take the kids so Mom can relax. On Father’s Day, it is a good opportunity for Dad to spend good quality time with the kids...
The difference between a rebellion and a revolution is which side wins.
Criminals are sent to prisons & given food, shelter, access to education and medical treatment whilst people who have become homeless due to no fault of their own are often left to fend for themselves on the street.
Nothing bums you out like the first time you accidentally drop food on the floor after having your pet put down.
If you were born in 1999 and live to be 101 years old, you’ll have lived in three different centuries an two millennia.
Buying a piece of clothing with a brand's logo on it is essentially you paying the company for advertising their products.
If you are wearing a VR headset linked to a camera of a drone following you a few feet behind, you are basically playing third person in real life.
The only way marijuana will ruin most lives is when someone fails a drug test and loses a good job....
Comic Con is the best way to see what your favorite characters would look like if they let themselves get out of shape.
The fact that "palindrome" isn't a palindrome is a real missed opportunity.