The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.

You know the shits really hit the fan when task manager stops responding.

Sometimes doesn’t it feel like u don’t understand music; music understands u.

Trees may seem friendly but they’re really just jerks who grow taller than other plants to steal their sunlight

If someone invents the "pill of immortality" how do we know when it starts working?

This sub would be the best place to advertise waterproof smartphones.

Peoples mostly like to buy the same item with 99.9$ than 100$.

God is actually the first writer who kills the good characters.

If you wait for a waiter, doesn’t that make you a waiter?

People never fully appreciate the fact that phone screens keep moving after you scroll, as if it has inertia.

Making fun of an overweight person at the gym is like laughing at an alcoholic for refusing a drink

One of the best feelings as a kid is to wake up knowing school is canceled

"Love u 2" can also be written as "Love u <3" since 2 is less than 3

As a kid, the thought of living in a huge house was magical. As an adult, the thought of living in a huge house causes anxiety about the cleaning required.

The internet isn't full of stupid people. The WORLD is. The internet is just the proof.

Reading a book under a tree is basically holding a dead mutilated tree under an alive one.

When you become a father you simultaneously become a motherfucker.

If a bookmark costs more than a dollar, use a dollar as a bookmark.

If you wake up because of your alarmclock. You did not sleep enough.

We heavily question the damage that is done from marijuana use to an adolescent’s brain, but then romanticize a sport where they run head first into each other and act surprised that it “may” cause damage to the brain.

Spiderman would be very innefective in rural areas.