Shower thoughts could deny your message and post it as their own and there would be nothing you could do about it.

It's a shame that Wal-Mart isn't a wall selling/building business.

If instead of sending links to "nude pics" Tinder bots just said "omg look at this Spongebob meme" a lot more people would fall for the virus links probably.

It's strange how you go to jail for not paying your tax dollars, yet the jail is paid for with tax dollars.

Life backwards is the story of your mother becoming increasingly protective of you until she becomes so obsessed she absorbs you into her vagina.

We feel superior to animals that will chase a laser pointer light, but if a giant beam of light suddenly appeared on Earth humans would definitely go check it out.

Checking how long there is left of the movie frequently is a big indicator you aren’t enjoying the movie.

Santa Claus is important because it teaches you that the people in charge are capable of lying to you to manipulate your behavior.

Somewhere in the world is a tree exactly your age.

It is pretty awesome that we don't naturally piss and shit while we sleep.

If you waste your time finding a way to be immortal and eventually succeed, you havent wasted your time at all.

One of the most freeing feelings is when the police car behind you finally turns onto a different road.

The older you get, the more relatable Squidward becomes

When you have to study, tidying up the house suddenly becomes the best decision you took in your life.

The feeling of Sex is just life clickbaiting you into making children.

The continent with the highest iq is probably Antarctica

Old people tell young men/women they're a "catch" despite not getting a lot of attention because they see beauty that young people don't value yet.

The idea of someone standing on the edge of a pool and peeing into it will upset people much more than the idea of them sitting in a pool and peeing in it

We dream to make Mars more like Earth, while we continue to make Earth more like Mars

Flat Earth society was (probably) a social experiment to prove how many idiot followers could be gathered by giving a totally insane idea enough momentum on the Internet ... and it's working

Your nose smells the outside of your body when you inhale, but it doesn't smell the inside of your body when you exhale.