It's normal to eat the same breakfast every day but its not normal to eat the same dinner everyday.
A fine is a tax for not following rules. A tax is a fine for following rules. 🤔
Programming is like magic in fantasy, you start with simple spells and slowly learn how to create more and more complex and powerful ones. Some mages use this power for the good of people, some don't.
Telling someone that their body looks like its "chiseled from marble" is considered a major compliment and telling a sculptor that his chiseled marble statue looks like real person is a major compliment.
The real movie pirates are the ones selling popcorn and drink combos for more than the ticket price.
When a TV character says another character is funny it's just the show's writer complimenting himself
Dogs may help prepare you for babies, but cats help prepare you for teenagers.
To make mistakes is Human, to blame it on others...that's even more Human
You don't realize how small handwriting can be until you're allowed a 1 page cheat sheet on your final
We have the technology to tell millions of people all across the world what was for dinner but still can't tell the guy one car ahead that his indicator is still on.
If you keep walking north you’ll eventually be walking south, but if you walk east you’ll never walk west.
Forwarded from Bleh
What if witches who made their own potions are just really professional Chemists
If the phrases "Nothing in life is free" and "The best things in life are free" are both true. Then life really sucks.
Forwarded from Deleted Account
The husband of the first female president of the United States will be The First 'First Gentleman of the United States'
Forwarded from Eyosyas
Shower thoughts could deny your message and post it as their own and there would be nothing you could do about it.
Forwarded from Deleted Account
It's a shame that Wal-Mart isn't a wall selling/building business.
If instead of sending links to "nude pics" Tinder bots just said "omg look at this Spongebob meme" a lot more people would fall for the virus links probably.
Forwarded from Fatass Yoshi
It's strange how you go to jail for not paying your tax dollars, yet the jail is paid for with tax dollars.
Life backwards is the story of your mother becoming increasingly protective of you until she becomes so obsessed she absorbs you into her vagina.
We feel superior to animals that will chase a laser pointer light, but if a giant beam of light suddenly appeared on Earth humans would definitely go check it out.
Checking how long there is left of the movie frequently is a big indicator you aren’t enjoying the movie.