Forwarded from Dan Mekonnen
I gave my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.
That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1
That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1
People ask you what you do for a living so they can calculate the level of respect they have for you.
Forwarded from Paradox Sorites
Judging by how much we stereotype planets in science and in fiction, such as desert planet, ice planet, gas giant- considering that earth is 75% covered in water, and seeing how it seems liquid water is not common on other planets, aliens would look at us and say that we are a water world.
Forwarded from Deleted Account
Watching porn is like watching people eat to satisfy your hunger or watching people drink to satisfy your thirst..
Forwarded from Shahrzad
Counting from 1 to 10 seems take longer than counting from 10 to 1
Forwarded from Deleted Account
Nothing is worse then putting on a fresh pair of socks and stepping in a puddle
Forwarded from Deleted Account
Michael B. Jordan's dad's name is Micheal A. Jordan
Forwarded from 👑
Swimming in a pool is basically digging a hole filling it in water then spend hours trying not to drown in it.
Forwarded from Biscuit
Maybe Squidward would be better at clarinet if SpongeBob would stop interrupting him Everytime he practices.
There is a chance you played a role in someone’s sexual masturbation fantasy.
The fact that news stations have to blow small things out of proportions just to write a story is a good sign that the world isn’t going to hell.
It's unfair that lefties are forced to live in a righty world, but you don't see them making an ass of themselves on the internet or making protests about it.
If domesticated farm animals like sheep and cows can't survive in the wild anymore, then people who eat meat are preventing their extinction
Everyone knows what elevator music is but no elevators seem to play music.
Most of our history is not based on facts, but the perceptions of people who recorded it.
If nobody believes you when you say you don't want kids, just tell them you're an anti-vaxxer and they'll likely decide you shouldn't have kids & leave you alone.
Forwarded from Deleted Account
The upside of amnesia is you get to experience your favorite movies all over again
You're doing pretty well in life if you have beach towels that aren't also your bath towels
An infinite number of $1 bills and an infinite number of $20 would be worth the same.
Somewhere, there's a person who recalls something brave or wise that you said or did and thinks of you as someone who really has their shit together.