If dentists make money off unclean teeth, why would you buy a toothpaste 4/5 of them recommend.
For a person with depression, shaving right before you go to your therapist is the equivalent of brushing your teeth right before going to the dentist.
DJ Khaled always records songs that are 90% other singers, then says it’s his song ft. everyone else. He is the celebrity equivalent of the kid who does no work but takes all the credit in a school project.
Lets just thank mother nature, for both pre slicing and pre wrapping oranges.
Judge Judy would be a lot more interesting if she could sentence people to death
Cops would be much more popular if they ran fewer speed traps and pursued more tailgaters and asshats who don't use their blinker.
A kid born today could live an entirely normal life and never physically touch money.
Forwarded from Cailean Pup Queen of Cotton Candy
Volleyball is just a really intense version of don’t let the balloon touch the floor
It’s funny how we think of 1900’s through WW2 in black and white but ancient civilizations such as Egypt and Rome in color
Attractive people probably think the world is a lot more polite than it actually is.
An alien race could conquer us by simply asking "Bring us to your leader" and watch from afar while we fight each other to decide who is our leader.
Snapchat has ruined years of hard work trying to get people to film horizontally
Stan Lee's character in the Marvel films seems to be immortal but apparently can't hold down a job.
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Services are switching from calling them Private Messages to calling them Direct Messages because they're not private anymore...
Forwarded from Leykun 🙊
I think they named oranges before they named carrots
One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this..." it will usually smell nice.
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Much of Amazon.com's Prime Video collection feels as if it were assembled using only films they were able to pick up randomly at yard sales.